Warnings: Angst, heartbreak, hurt and maybe some mild comfort?
Notes: I was asked to make a part two of "Oh, the love I found", so here you are @mermaidxatxheart, this is for you. It's not complete closure, but I hope you like it anyway <3
And I have an idea for part 3, if anyone wants it 😅❤️
Unbeta'ed. All mistakes are mine.
Words: 1.6K
Part one: Oh, the love I found
You step aside, letting Benny into the house. Your heart clenches when you smell his cologne, the one you gave him for his birthday. You close your eyes for a second, trying so hard to suppress the tears building, knowing that the dam could break any second.
When you look up, you see the guys. They are all there to help Benny move his stuff. They are always there for each other. A small pang of jealousy hits you, whishing you had someone there for you, too.
You try so hard to look strong, but you know they can see how fragile you are. How puffy and red your eyes are from crying, how tired you look from the lack of sleeping.
As Will walks past, you almost give him a hug. The motion so familiar, like muscle memory. But instead you hold back, and he gently squeezes your shoulder. He remains silent because what’s there to say? No words could make things better. No words would suffice.
Santi just nods as he walks past, looking torn. The expression on his face says it all. He wants to hug you, crack a joke just to make you smile, but that would be awkward now. They all had to choose and of course, they chose Benny.
Frankie, the wonderful human he is, gives hell to it all and gives you a gentle hug. It’s quick, almost nonexistent, but it’s there and it makes you feel better. Makes you think that maybe you’re not so alone after all.
“I’m sorry, querida.” he manages to whisper quickly, before walking away. Sorry. If only Frankie knew how desperately you wanted to hear those exact words, but from Benny.
Walking back into the living room, the silence is almost deafening. The tension unbearable as you all stand there, no one knowing where to look. Benny shuffles over to a box, looking at how empty it is. How empty they all are. You curse yourself for not getting packed in time, so this could have gone smoother.
“You haven’t packed my stuff?”
It’s not an accusation, his voice soft and unsure, almost at a breaking point too. Somehow, it makes you feel better, knowing you’re not the only one affected by this.
“I… I couldn’t-” you voice weak, barely above a whisper. The tears sting in your eyes, one breaking free from the rest, rolling slowly down your cheek. “How could I? If I pack them down, it’s really over. You’re really gone.”
Looking away, you wipe away the tears, sniffing. Benny turns away from the boxes, walking to you.
“You told me to move. Why did you do that if you didn’t want me to go?”
“Because I was fucking mad at you, Benjamin!”
Benny steps back, surprised by your sudden outburst. Looking away, like a scorn child, it almost breaks your heart again. Tired of having to go through this again, you look at him, so close to breaking down.
“I never stopped loving you. But you broke my heart, Benny. There was nothing I wanted more than you, than this-” you gesture at the house, the place that no longer felt like home. “And then you-”
The dam finally breaks, tears pouring down your cheeks and you fall to the floor. Hiding your face in your hands, you sob. You don’t care they’re starring at you. You don’t care anymore. After a while, Frankie pulls away from the couch and sits down beside you, not having the heart to let you sit there alone. Giving him a thankful nod, you turn your bloodshot eyes at Benny.
“I just hope she was fucking worth it.”
That day was still etched into your brain, like a nightmare you couldn’t wake up from. Benny had come home early in the morning from a night out with the guys, so drunk he could barely stand. You didn’t mind, but one thing that bothered you were the smell of perfume mixed with his cologne. A perfume that wasn’t yours. You shrugged it off, maybe he had just given someone a hug. He was a hugger after all.
But later, as he was sleeping, his phone started buzzing. Just to make sure it wasn’t anything important, you looked. And with the few messages from her, your world ended.
“I’ve already told you it didn’t mean anything, that I was just drunk, I-” he pauses, running his fingers through his hair. “You know I would never-”
“But you did. You did hurt me.”
Your voice cold as steel, you look into his beautiful blue eyes. The eyes that always made your heart flutter, always so full of life and joy. Now all you found in them were sadness, pain.
Benny steps forward, but Will stops him. The stern look from his older brother makes Benny shut up, take a step back.
“Maybe we should just get going. Benny can come back some other day when you’re not here.” Will gives you a soft apologetic look, before looking at the others. Frankie stands, planting a soft kiss to your forehead, before walking to the door, taking the only filled box with him.
As you stand, Santi pulls you into a hug. He murmurs how sorry he is about all this, feeling that he is partly to blame. If he hadn’t pressured Benny into drinking all those tequila shots, this might never have happened. You don’t blame him, but he still apologizes. Breaking away, he gives you a small smile, before joining Frankie at the door.
Will gives in too and gives you a hug. Ever since the day you confronted Benny, Will had seemed torn. He had to be there for Benny, but you knew he was angry over what he had done. Will had always rooted for you two. He had even helped Benny pick out the ring, that was still adorning your finger. You knew you should have taken it off, but you knew that would mean it really was the end.
With the others already halfway out of the door, Benny shuffles after them. In the hall, he turns to you, searching for the right words to say. You’ve never seen him like this. So broken.
That when it suddenly hits you. You’re not the only one affected by this. Honestly, you hadn’t even thought about his feelings in this, to caught up in your own heartbreak.
“I really am sorry, you know? The only reason I never said it until now, is because sorry just ain’t gonna cut it. And I know that.”
He takes a step closer and you feel his eyes on you, but you don’t dare look, scared your last resolve will crumble. So many times over the last few weeks, you had wanted to call him, to see him again. But you couldn’t forget what he had done.
“I never meant to hurt you, but I did. Worse than I hurt anybody else before. It’s no excuse, but I got scared.”
You look for the first time since he started talking, feeling the anger bubble in you.
“Scared?!”
“Yeah, scared. It all got so fucking serious the minute I put that ring on your finger.”
He points to the engagement he gave no more than 6 months ago. You huff, wanting to laugh.
“Oh, so you didn’t wanna marry me? Why did you propose then?!”
“Because I can’t live without you!”
Only inches from your face, you feel his breath on you as he yells. His words hitting like bullets, leaving you short of breath. His gaze is intense, piercing your soul. Will puts a hand on Benny’s shoulder, a gentle reminder to back off. But Benny ignores it, still looking at you as he shrugs of Will’s hand.
“I’ve never loved anyone like I love you. And I do wanna marry you. I just…”
“You needed time.”
He nods softly, looking to his feet. Suddenly, you regret moving so fast. Both your mothers were so excited, that within a few months they had already found locations and you had tried on the first dress. Remembering back, you can’t even recall Benny being having much say in anything.
“I just needed time. And instead of saying so, I acted like a fucking child and destroyed the best damned thing that’s ever happened to me.”
No longer able to hold back, Benny breaks, the tears pouring down his cheeks. Closing the distance between you, he takes your hand in his, touching you for the first time in a month. You hate how your body reacts on such a simple touch, how his skin on yours sends sparks of electricity through you. You still love him, it just hurts so fucking much knowing what he did.
“I know you’ll never forgive me, and I don’t deserve it, just… I hope you know I still love you.”
His fingers move to your cheek, fingers barely touching you, but still sending shivers down your spine. Grazing your jaw softly, he makes you look into his eyes.
“I love you so much, sweetheart.”
He leans in closer, his nose gently touching yours as he inches closer to you, a move so familiar, yet seems so forbidden now. His lips almost on yours, you feel his breath ghosting your skin. Your entire body screams for you to just give in, to taste him again.
But you stop him, gently putting a hand to his chest. He puts his forehead to yours, eyes closed as another tear runs down his cheek.
“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“I know, Benny.”
“Do you think-” he cuts himself of, breathing strained, “Do you think you could forgive me? In time?”
Against your better judgement, you lean into his embrace, burying your face in his chest. The scent of him overwhelming, so familiar. It smells like home. But could he still be that for you? Only time could tell.
bennett cuddle headcanons! (btw im like your biggest fan ILY AND YOUR PAGE IS SUPER GOOD!!)
Hi Anon! Thank you so much, I hope you enjoy your Ben cuddles!
✯ He absolutely loves cuddles. He loves any affection he receives, especially hugs and cuddles.
✯ Bennett would be comfortably warm, his ecstatic personality adds to the cuddles. His reactions are the best, nuzzling his head into you with his arms wrapped tightly around your figure.
✯ He loves to be small spoon because of all the love, but if you want to be small spoon, he’ll gladly take big spoon.
✯ If he’s big spoon, Bennett would love to hear that he makes you feel safe. Anything good is something he always wants to hear. He’ll pull you close to his chest, telling you some of his stories. His personal favorite is talking about the Benny Adventure Team..
✯ If Bennett is small spoon, he will nuzzle his head into you, his arms lightly wrapped around you. The happier he gets, the more the grip tightens. His grip wouldn’t get too tight, so you wouldn’t get hurt, though sometimes he can’t realize how tight he’s holding you.
✯ There are times where he feels lonely, try your best to cheer him up. Affection, adventures, talking. Anything.
✯ Small cutie. His green eyes practically sparkle, he wants all the attention and love he can receive. All. Of. It.
✯ Confident lil’ boy. If he needs cuddles, he won’t be afraid to ask you. “Hey! Can we cuddle today?”
