hii! i'm writing a bunch of nsfw headcanons for the LOTR film characters via this format as some nice writing junk food between bigger projects. i've decided to share them here in case anyone else would enjoy them!
if you'd like your favorite character to be posted sooner, or have a request regarding LOTR and smut, shoot me an ask!
warnings: there will be brief mentions of various kinks. intoxication, voyeurism, sensory deprevation, and tickling are all mentioned, though not explored with much depth.
A - Aftercare: Pippin is hardly one to do much of the aftercare himself. He prefers to be pampered or cuddled, and will usually make a fuss about cleaning things up before being allowed to relax. He's typically pretty spent after sex, coming down hard once his body is given time to settle.
B - Body (Favorite body part on himself/a partner): On himself, he would acknowledge how good his thighs look, as well as the charm of his nose. In a partner, he'd really look for good hands. He's such a hand guy— I knowwww he's obsessed with being touched in any way possible.
C - Cum (Anything with cum(??)): His loads are small and prone to coming prematurely. He's not personally much of a cum enjoyer, and he would especially dislike facials.
D - Dirty Secret: Regular voyeur, he primarily jerks off in public for the adrenaline rush it provides. Avoiding getting caught is just as fun of a game here as anywhere.
E - Experience: Utterly inexperienced beyond his hand.
F - Favorite Position: He's pretty basic and enjoys missionary, though he would also get a lot of mileage out of 69ing.
G - Goofy (How silly is he during sex?): Up until his orgasm starts to properly build, extremely silly. He loves to pause or take breaks to crack jokes, do a random bit of tickling, be defiant just for the sake of it... once he's close, though, full attention best be directed forward finishing him off.
H - Hair: All Hobbits are extremely hairy. Pippin a bit less so, though his pubes and happy trail are extremely thick and curly. He also carries a thick tuft of hair on his chest, though it's rather small. His hair grows less thick around the thighs, becoming thick again below the knee, centralized mostly to the tops of his feet.
I - Intimacy: Extremely intimate. He always wants some kind of affection during sex, whether it be physical with pets and caresses, or emotional with plenty of praise. He doesn't limit his sexual availability to those he's intimate with, but sex Will make him want to be more intimate almost instantly.
J - Jack off: Chronic hog cranker. Pippin applies the same logic he has for smoking to masturbation: "maybe if I indulge this to get it out of my mind, I'll focus better!"
K - Kink: He's big into tickling, whether it be with hands, lips or tongue. Any overly sensitive body part, he's liable to attack it, and want it attacked. Otherwise, he likes overstimulation, intox play, roleplay, and sensory deprevation is especially effective on him even if he isn't the biggest fan of it.
L - Location: Anywhere, though he'd enjoy keeping a tally of new places he's either fucked or jerked off at.
M - Motivation (Turn ons): He's especially vulnerable to playing with power. Being utterly powerless, being given total control over someone, both are something that would leave him begging for more. Either he finally gets to be the brainless idiot everyone seems to think him as, or he finally gets to be the big mature adult he's been wanting to be for so long. Otherwise, he's an adrenaline junkie.
N - No (turn offs): Bondage is a soft turn off for him, but it also works him up like crazy. Most forms of degredation won't do much for him.
O - Oral: Pippin loves to receive and give it! He's got an intense oral fixation, and mouths are soft and wet and warm and tight.
P - Pace: He always wants to go from 0 to 100, but he'll have a much better time if you force him to learn some patience.
Q - Quickie: Great in concept, he loves the idea, but in practice, most orgasms work him up too much for any sex or masturbation to be a quickie.
R - Risk (Does he like to experiment/take risks?): He runs off of adrenaline during sex, and in life, so he'll often be doing something to get his heart racing, if he can afford to. Pain, the risk of getting found, being around danger, it all gets him going, even at inopportune times.
S - Stamina: He could go for multiple rounds, as long as he doesn't have to be all there for them. His body can take it, even if his mind can't, and that's the way he likes it.
T - Toys: When alone, he would be too lazy to use them. His hands are just as effective. With a partner, however, he would easily be a size king.
U - Unfair (How much does he enjoy teasing?): Pippin enjoys lighthearted verbal teasing and intense physical teasing. Verbal teasing dips into insult territory easily, while physical teasing just gets everyone more worked up.
V - Volume: He's extremely loud. Always whining, begging, or making some kind of high and strained noise. He's got better volume control when masturbating only with his dick, but anything else requires something to muffle him.
W - Wild Card (Anything!): Despite hating bondage, he actually really likes to be held down by someone else. He loves the powerlessness, but prefers the intimacy of warm touch, and likes struggling against a hold that can actually break.
X - X-Ray (Body headcanons): Like previously mentioned, he's got intense bush. His shape is rather slender, but with healthy pudge around his stomach, thighs, and arms. Personally, and since these are my headcanons, I think he's got a small dick and small balls, and is just a bit of a grower. I think after his journey with the fellowship, he would have light, sensitive burn scars along most of his body. His chest is flat, with nipples that perk out slightly.
Y - Yearning (Sex drive): High, he's got a lot of energy to work out.
Z - Zzz (After sex sleeper?): Almost every time 👍 It's just a big workout for him, and the most he usually does is sprint through some fields.
La squadra's part time jobs because we all know Diavolo doesn't pay them enough money to survive 🤣
They survive on Pesca's cooking 70% of the time but they still need to buy stuff for themselves 😅
Risotto ✂️: Bouncer
You are almost 2 mt tall, got black sclera and red eyes? We all know Risotto would use his scary appearence for something other than being an hitman.
He works part-time at Napoli's underground clubs as a bouncer and he is very requested not only for his intimidating looks, but especially for his serious attitude and because how prefessional he is; deals with drunk jerks, helps people who are bothered inside and out of the club...
Sure he hates when people flirt with him or try to push him to enter, but in the end he doesn't really mind.
Prosciutto 🍖: model
He knows he is a very good looking man; his posture is impeccable and he takes really good care of his appearence so why not use all that for good money?
He uses an alias, changes his usual hairstyle and is not very famous but whenever his teammates point his face on a low/medium brand product he smirks and says sh*t like " Well what can i say, la classe non è acqua~"
He also gets big discounts on the products he models for so is free shampoo, perfume and bath products in general for him and the boys.
Formaggio 🧀: bartender
With the nickname " Er sorcio " ( the rat ) he makes his way in all the bars in Napoli, pouring drinks and filling beer's glasses to the brim! His charming personality really helps with tips, especially cause he can make you think he's listening to all your problems while in reality is watching the game on the old tv behind your back.
His signature cocktail is the Hugo and his usual boss even tried to sign him up for a bartending contest but he playfully declined cause he may " k*ll the competition "
He sometimes steals some fancy bottles from the storage room but he is clever enough to do that when the owner is not around.
Illuso 🔎: make up artist
Do you know someone more narcissist than Illuso? Well meet his persona " Gianni Fashionista " and we'll see.
His over the top, snarky and mean-girl attitude and extremely good make up skills made him famous with the rich ladies of " Napoli Bene " and he uses this to gain the upper hand.
He may gossip with Signora Valeria while he prepares her for a charity event, spill the tea with Donna Annunziata about her daughter in law while painting her nails... Illuso crawled from the bottom to the golden top of the superficial, evil and fancy high class of Napoli and he loves it!
Melone 🍈: babysitter
Ok ok i know the majority of the people wouldn't trust this purple tuscan with a goldfish...BUT Melone is really good with kids!!
His experience with Babyface ( and the fact that his mother was a cold b*tch ) teached him everything he knows about how to properly take care of children, and said kids love him too!!
Melone takes them to the park, play pretend, fingerpaint with him is so so fun!! And at the end of the day the mothers always gives him a lil extra money cause they see how happy the children are when " Signor Lollo " comes around.
Nobody knows he may be teaching his favourites how to manipulate people around them to get what they want or how to dispose of a body BUT is just for fun...right?
Ghiaccio 🧊: driving instructor
Can we all appreciate how CUTE Ghiaccio would look with a white polo shirt, jeans and a red tie while he screams at his student during driving lessons? Absolutely adorable!
You can be sure of one thing, with him you won't only get your licence, you'll end up being actually afraid of commit infringement on the road!
Our favourite blue Veneto is a dangerous driver when he is on a mission but when he's teaching other people? He's ruthless and precise, will yell at you at the mininum mistake and at the end of the day his students still hear in their mind " LA FRECCIA D*OCANE!! METTI LA FRECCIA P*TTANA LA MADONNA!!"
Pesci 🐟: wedding planner
Who loves weddings? PESCI DOES!! And with him even the smallest ceremony will look like it came straight out of a fairytale!
No matter the weather, the guests, the priests or any kind of problem his clients might face; he has a solution and he isn't afraid to fight for his beloved brides!!
Zia Carmela is talking sh*t about wanting to seat near the groom? Nah sister, stay at your seat and BEHAVE!! The bride is worried her beloved's " cousin " might actually be his ex? Pesci will check on the background of EVERY female guests to reassure the lil sposina that she has nothing to worry about!!
You want your wedding to be perfect? Better call Pesci~
i wrote a poem about pogtopia for the stages of wilbur's life, from entering pogtopia to being revived. enjoy!
the ravine
Do you remember me?
You died here.
Pupils so small and the ripe
Stench of desperation,
You came to me,
Drowning in a loss
Of your own creation,
And I welcomed you.
Will you remember me?
I housed your madness,
Let it fester and grow,
I watched you be kind,
And I watched you so slow
Become the man who would kill
His own people for his pride.
I watched as you died.
Can you remember me?
I remember you
Not quite like others might remember
I housed your young
Now send them far from this place.
When they come see my walls
They may only see that you rotted here,
Your ruining legacy.
Please remember me.
I can't forget you.
You wrote yourself onto my walls
You bled here,
But I know it wasn't ever for me.
Your mind
Was meant for a people
And I was your undoing
I was your doom.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead & Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic
Characters: Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic
Additional Tags: First Meetings, Entrance Exam, rated t for one (1) swear
Summary:
“Your quirk is super cool, Aizawa-kun!” Hizashi gushes. “You can stop people from using their quirk? That’s amazing!”
“I can only do it if I can see them,” Aizawa mumbles. “It’s annoying.”
“It’s really cool,” Hizashi insists. “How many points did you get?”
La Squadra and how they manage to survive the summer because...you guessed it, they are too poor and Diavolo won't give them a break lol 🤣🤣
Risotto ✂️: steal all the fans in the lair
He's the boss so he has all the rights to gather the fans around him. Being so pale also is a curse for him cause he doesn't tan...he becomes la Pimpa's cousin ( la pimpa is a red and white dog from a children's book if you don't know)
No matter how much sunscreen he puts on, the sun will burn him either way...so he prefers to stay inside sorrounded by his lil army of windy electronic slaves.
No one dares to say anything to him, a mad risotto means ouchies for the others.
Prosciutto 🍖: Circolo Arci lifestyle
This sicilian hottie ( benny stop simping for Gucci's sake!!) Has way too much class to let the summer's heat wave reduce him to an ameba!
So in all his years of experience he found the perfect place to hide during the warmest days: the local Circolo Arci's bar! He will go there around 13 pm and stay till 19:30, where he'll either watch tv or play cards with the senior citizens who also came to seek refuge from the heat wave.
Call him old, but at least he can enjoy the air conditioning system as much as he wants, even if that means loose at Briscola every single time.
Formaggio 🧀: I'm not an alcoholic, i'm a sommelier
Formaggio, being the king of drinks, will make cold cocktails for everyone...but especially for himself.
Using Little Feet he'll also shrink so he can lay on the ice cubes and enjoy the freshness till he can, even swimming in a cold glass of Gin Lemon!! Illuso one time found him using a lemon slice as a floatie.
After a long, tiring, hot day there's nothing better than the cheese man famous Negroni Sbagliato; but watch out for the ice...he may have layed there commando previously, just ask for the ones in the freezer, just in case..
Melone 🍈: decency? What's that?
You guessed it, this tuscan weirdo will literally walk around his apartment totally naked with the windows open; he won't absolutely care about the screams of the neighbours or that someone might call the police, IS TOO HOT TO BOTHER!!
If he lived closer to tuscany he would have escaped to Follonica a loooong time ago, but since he has to stay nearby ( and honestly he hates Napoli's beach ) for the missions he just cosplay as Adam inside his own house.
He has to put stickers notes on the fridge to remember to get dressed before gljng out tho, one time he forgot and his neighbour screamed so loud she cracked a window...
Illuso 🔎: local swimming pool diva
Sun hat? Check! Versace swimsuit? Check! Will to ruin everybody elses fun time? C H E C K~
Illuso is the person you DON'T wanna have to deal with at your local swimming pool area: he is loud, snarky, will make children cry, be a karen to the staff...JUST CAUSE HE IS BORED!!
You'll see him coming looking like an italian Barbie malibu, and once he decides he wants your spot in the pool, he'll make everything in his power to make you leave...
Luckily summer only last 3 months...
Ghiaccio 🧊: the lucky b*tch
His stand it's his blessing during the summer, White Album automatically regulates his body temperature so he is never too hot or too cold! The lucky b*stard smirks and walk around the lair not breaking a sweat!!
He will wear only a pair of light sweatpants, chug a beer and snicker " Why so bothered? Is not THAT hot ahahahah!!"
Either that or he'll go train early in the morning like gym bro he is, some say he'll even whistle while doing push ups.
Ghiaccio doesn't like summer, but he likes seeing people miserable soooo...it is what it is
Ok Risotto's heart is not in a bad place let's be clear...but his experience in the mob apparently gave him the right to always know what's best for you, even when you didn't f*cking asked in the first place!! It could be about paying rent on time or even just a fashion choice...our tall goth will speak his mind with an annoying and " know it all " voice.
Prosciutto 🍖: always criticize everything you might like..
Prosciutto is a perfectionist and a man who has no time for silliness in his life, so if you enjoy an activity he may find childish, useless or not interesting at all in his eyes...he'll destroy it with an annoyed face while smoking a cigarette. You enjoy painting? You are not even famous why bother! Are you into baking? You know that the gas bill was over the roof last month, was it you? In the end you'll avoid spend time doing your thing at the lair, especially if he's around.
Formaggio 🧀: he always touches you when talking...
This man CANNOT keep his hands to himself ( in a sussy way or not ) he just doesn't realise that some people may don't like being touched during conversations or in general. He is a very extroverted and touchy person and in his mind ALL people like physical contact!! Right? Right...? Don't bother explain this to him, he'll straight up ignore you
Melone 🍈: passive-aggressiveness..
Melone won't NEVER tell you directly why he is mad at you in the first place, he avoids conflict as much as possible but that doesn't mean he won't gaslight you to make you apologize, and trust me he'll do it even when HE's the one clearly in the wrong. Be prepared for a lot of side eyeing, sighs, huffs and sarcastic comments..is going to be a loooooong week
Illuso 🔎: leaves hair in the sink/drain/shower
Ok Illuso's hair care routine is already annoying..but when is YOUR turn to shower and the bathroom looks like if Kayako from the grudge decided to shave her head out of spite, you can feel your blood boil. Illuso's hair is everywhere and there's no way he'll pick it up!! You can ask gently, shout, beg..he will laugh and ignore you; so you better be ready to pick a digusting wet noodle ball out of the drain every two days...
Ghiaccio 🧊: grammar police
You think the Venezia thing was his worst? Boi you are wrong!! He will angrily correct your every sentence if he hear a mispronounced word, verb or even yell stuff like " IT'S A METAPHORICAL EXPRESSION D*OCANE!! DON'T YOU F*CKING DARE USE IT LITERALLY IN A SENTENCE " you better be prepared at being yelled at in public, or just have a whole lot of patience with this blue gremlin
i like to read. i love to overanalyze what i read. i adore to play toys with what i read most :3c
this is a sideblog mostly for lotr/tolkien related works, but is also for any other literature based posting i may indulge in. feel free to stroll around!
a little about me is that the history of whaling has been a special interest of mine for good while now! i like alligators. my fav colors are pink or green. and my fav lotr characters are sam, denethor, gollum, boromir, and merry :)
important tags: #benny yaps, #benny writes, #benny draws, #fellowship liveblog, #lord of the rings, #the hobbit, #moby dick, #gifsets, #anal-yze
(potential triggers will be tagged plainly as the trigger itself. for example, arachnophobia would simply be tagged #arachnophobia. no triggers are currently tagged, ask for tags. flashing lights tag: #flashing lights)
character tags: #aragorn elessar, #arwen undomiel, #bilbo baggins, #boromir son of denethor, #oc: detho, #denethor ii, #eowyn of rohan, #eomer of rohan, #faramir son of denethor, #frodo baggins, #gandalf the grey, #gimli son of gloin, #grima wormtongue, #legolas greenleaf, #meriadoc brandybuck, #peregrin took, #rosie cotton, #samwise gamgee, #saruman, #smaug, #smeagol, #king theoden
