[Akuneko Fic] Aruji Reborn (Berrien’s route)
Back to Aruji Reborn Prompt
Recap: You (the Aruji) died during the angel hunt and was reborn as a civilian in the same world many years after. You still possess your past memories with the butler and you resemble the same appearance as your past self. You also tried to stay away from the butlers as there is a new Aruji with them. You currently work as a regular toy seller and also worked at your parents’ cafe. It all changed when an angel was in town and the butler came to your rescue.
Haha this one is like a novel
୨୧‿‿‿୨ﾠ୧‿‿‿୨୧ ୨୧‿‿‿୨ﾠ୧‿‿‿୨୧ ୨୧‿‿‿୨ﾠ୧‿
There Berrien is again.
Standing there at Arujisama’s front door.
He traces his gloved finger on the wood panel as if he was dusting the door.
Every trace, every piece of Arujisama, I have to collect everything.
I never want them to disappear from my life.
He’s no stranger to eternity, only this time, time seems to be passing by awfully slow and gruelling.
The afternoon tea party has been reserved for someone who could never attend.
Day after day, the fragrance from the aromatic black tea pours out to fill the entire room.
Berrien always made sure to pour a cup and stand behind the chair.
But there wasn’t anyone who could enjoy it.
But there wasn’t anyone who could tell Berrien how you enjoyed his tea with your gentle smile.
Whenever Berrien drinks his tea, the bitterness of the tea overwhelms his taste buds.
“Ah…it seems like I’ve left the tea leaves in for too long…that cannot be…after all, I should make the best tea for Arujisama….”
Even he couldn’t taste the sweetness of the madeleines despite he’s drowning sweet jams and sugar on them.
As the eldest of the devil butlers, he cannot stop his steps.
If he falls, that means the other butlers would follow his steps.
If he appeared to be anxious, his anxiety would be contagious.
Devil’s palace feels hollow and empty.
Much like the name itself, everything was as if it contains the essence of death.
Ever since the death of Arujisama, the hearts of the devil butlers broke into pieces and follows them in their coffin.
The candle lights are lit for Arujisama, yet they feel dimmed.
Our saviour, our light, our love,
Our life has been blown out like candles, leaving us in complete darkness again.
We’re not unfamiliar with pain.
We’re not unfamiliar with losses.
But that doesn’t mean our hearts wouldn’t break.
That’s the part that makes us tragically human.
And alive still.
If time could be turned back, then let me be the one who gets taken away.
If time could be turned back, then please don’t take away my most precious person.
If time could be turned back, then….then…
Berrien thinks about this every night as he carries his tears to his sleep.
Whenever he gets the chance to sleep, it would be rare if he doesn’t get a dream.
Nightmares swarm like insects, guilt climbing onto Berrien, questioning, “Why didn’t you save us? Why didn’t you save me? Why did you leave me to die?”
Berrien starts to feel his heart beat pounding in his ears, as if it has filled up his entire mind.
The day that Arujisama was in his arms.
He held onto them so gently, so desperately.
His finger felt the back of Arujisama, their heartbeats grow fainter and fainter.
“No, no…! Arujisama, please…you must stay awake…! Please don’t worry…we’ll be right here….we’ll save you….and you’ll be alright….please, Arujisama…please….”
Berrien’s fingers felt coldness.
Arujisama’s breath trembles and rasped as their heartbeats fainted until there was silence.
“No….NO….A-arujisama….you mustn’t…!!”
Berrien tries to block this memory from his mind.
The moment he gets taken back to the exact scene, nausea would creep back to his throat. He couldn’t breathe, his body would tremble and his knees would plop to the floor like a baby deer trying its best to move forward but can’t.
He felt so minuscule against fate, was he really destined to be companions with the thing he fears the most, loneliness?
Why is it that the people who are so dear to him leave so quickly without saying goodbye?
He could only see their backs as they continue to walk forward.
clank
SHATTER
His elbow accidentally hits his teacup and the pieces scattered on the cold hard floor.
The tea spilled and splattered across the floor and as Berrien picks up the broken pieces with his hand.
“…ouch…”
The dew of blood forms on his finger as it dribbles down from his thin, pale fingertips, dropping into the sea of black tea.
୨୧‿‿‿୨ﾠ୧‿‿‿୨୧ ୨୧‿‿‿୨ﾠ୧‿‿‿୨୧ ୨୧‿‿‿୨ﾠ୧‿
When the new arujisama came, Berrien was very surprised to see this moment coming so fast.
He was holding the golden ring in his hands, cleaning, making the ring shine.
It would be as shiny as the time when Arujisama comes back to the palace, wearing their brightest smile.
The ring only shines the brightest when it’s on you.
There’s no time for mourn as the world continues to move.
Angels are still terrorizing, human lives lost, families all cried, but there’s no time for us to stop our steps to cry.
When the new arujisama came, the ring was shining bright.
For a moment, Berrien had wish it was Arujisama who came back.
A little hope that he can wake up from his never ending nightmare.
But it was not.
Berrien gathered himself, straighten his tuxedo and wore a professional smile.
”Welcome, “arujisama.” To the devil’s palace. Will you lend us your strength to unlock our powers?”
୨୧‿‿‿୨ﾠ୧‿‿‿୨୧ ୨୧‿‿‿୨ﾠ୧‿‿‿୨୧ ୨୧‿‿‿୨ﾠ୧‿
The day proceed with no problems made.
The night Berrien muffled his sobs away from his fellow butlers to hear.
The next day continued as follows.
Not a day did Berrien not miss arujisama.
He could feel other butlers’ resentment when they see Berrien acting like as if nothing has happened.
But they understand that Berrien is the one who’s crumbling more on the inside.
୨୧‿‿‿୨ﾠ୧‿‿‿୨୧ ୨୧‿‿‿୨ﾠ୧‿‿‿୨୧ ୨୧‿‿‿୨ﾠ୧‿
“Miyaji-san! Please take Flure-kun and Nac-kun to evacuate everyone at the market! Lono-kun and Bastien-kun, please come with arujisama and me!” The alarms blared as the butlers rushed out to help the civilians to safety.
Their powers were unleashed as Berrien carried his long spear, protecting the new arujisama, with Lono and Bastien carrying their swords to serve at the frontlines. “Please be careful…Lono-kun and Bastien-kun…”
“You got it, Berrien-san!” The both of them echoed.
The angels somehow appeared more frequently in the streets. Usually it was just one angel after a long time, but now, more has been discovered.
Lono-kun and Bastien-kun have been training even harder. These angels were no match for their speed and strength.
In the corner of Berrien’s eye, he saw another angel approaching a pair of civilians, one of which is a child.
“Lono-kun, Bastien-kun! Please protect arujisama!”
“Berrien-san…?”
“Wait, where are you going, Berrien-san?!!”
Berrien lunged forward. The spear in his hands spun high up in the air as he gathered more speed. Right there. Right in the center of the angel’s back, where its wings are, is their weakest point.
The angel fell to its knees and dissipate with its light.
“Are you alright…?” Berrien takes out his handkerchief and hands it to the civilian.
“Yes…thank you very much…” the civilian took the handkerchief and held it to the child’s face. The child was safe in their embrace.
“That’s a relief…” Berrien reached out his gentle hand to help them rise.
“Thank you for helping me…” The civilian turned to face Berrien and Berrien froze. His hand was still holding onto their hand. “Um….?” His fingers trembled vehemently.
The same gentle eyes.
The same gentle smile.
The same gentle features.
How can there be someone who completely resembles Arujisama?
Could it been a dream?
Could it been my delusion?
Is this person arujisama…?
But couldn’t be…
I held Arujisama in my arms…
As you fell into eternal slumber…
“Berrien-saaaaaaan! It’s time to head back!” Lono looked at the frozen Berrien’s back as they escort the new arujisama back to the palace.
“Ah…” Berrien’s cheeks slightly flushed pink as he quickly retracted his hand back to his heart and bowed. “My deepest apologies, I didn’t know what has gotten over me…”
“No, no, it’s alright…!” You shook your head and smiled.
Berrien took another peek at them and before he left with his party, he swallowed his hesitation and he asked, “May I know your name please…?”
“Of course…! It’s ( ).”
“Thank you very much, ( )-san. I will remember that.” Berrien takes another deep bow and took off.
୨୧‿‿‿୨ﾠ୧‿‿‿୨୧ ୨୧‿‿‿୨ﾠ୧‿‿‿୨୧ ୨୧‿‿‿୨ﾠ୧‿
Later that day, Berrien walked through the market and helped the others recover their stands after the angel impact.
While there are people who are hostile, there are those who whispered quick gratitudes to him.
He saw a familiar figure who was picking up the pieces at their stand.
Toys of all kinds, stuffed animals, puzzles, books…and a red ball that rolled off the table.
It rolled directly to Berrien and he stopped it as he leaned over.
“Oh! Thank you….! Wait…aren’t you the one who saved us from the angels? Thank you for helping me again!” You smiled brightly back at Berrien.
A familiar, warm smile that always saved Berrien.
“Ah…you remembered me?”
“Of course, I would remember someone as beautiful as you, ah-“
Berrien’s cheeks flushed like baby pink tulips.
“I…haven’t thank you just yet…! You strike me as someone who drinks tea, didn’t you?”
“Y-yes, I do. Black tea is my absolute favourite.”
“How lucky! We just imported the black tea leaves at our cafe today, they smell scrumptious! If you are free, please do come and visit our cafe, my treat!”
“Ah…you shouldn’t have-it was simply my duty.” Berrien bowed a little with his hand over his heart.
“I insist!”
“…it would be rude of me not to take up on your invite, and…I am curious about your black tea…..very well then…I will take your kind invitation and come by the cafe.”
“See you there!”
How long has it been since I’ve looked forward to an invitation…?
Someone who smiles like arujisama.
Someone who speaks like arujisama.
Someone who cares like arujisama.
If this were a dream, I wish I didn’t have to wake up.
Berrien followed you back to your cafe. The cafe was decorated with warm, earthy colours, paired with delicious, fresh bakery and sweet tea scents. The windchime ringed its welcome when you pushed through the door. He quickly finds a seat near the counter and he sees you wearing an apron.
Berrien glanced at the blackboard menu written in chalk. There were doodles drawn beside to indicate which are the drinks and which are the food items. They operate from mornings to night.
Berrien closed his eyes as he slowly breathe in the wondrous comforting aroma.
He felt his body more relaxed.
When he opened his eyes, you already carried a platter.
The teapot has an elegant curve for the sprout. The body has a beautiful butterfly design drawn.
“Be careful, it’ll be very hot.” You poured out the red silky liquid at an arm level with circling motion. Steams carried the floral scent of the black tea.
Berrien was amazed by your action.
“Of course, since black tea is a staple for afternoon tea, here is our freshly baked madeleines, just right out of the oven! Please enjoy!”
Before Berrien could tell you he didn’t make this order, he was surprised by how well you know him.
From the way you poured the black tea, to the choice of leaves, to the milk and sugar cube platter, to the teapot and tea cups and the madeleines, it was as if you learned everything from Berrien.
Could it be….?
Berrien’s eyes gleamed with a hopeful light but he quickly extinguished with his thoughts.
Arujisama doesn’t exist anymore.
Berrien lifted the teacup plate and held the teacup to his lips.
Arujisama doesn’t….
“HOT-“ Berrien carefully placed the teacup down and covered his lips.
“Are you alright?!!!”
Berrien took the ice cube past aruji gave him and he lightly tapped it on his burnt spot.
“Ah…fufu…how embarrassing, ( )-san had just warned me, but my mind was elsewhere….” Berrien chuckled sheepishly.
He felt the ice cube numbing and cooling his mind.
The melted ice water drops trickled down his rosy lips, his chin then the floor as Berrien’s expression grew dark.
Drip, drip, drip
The water was caught by a napkin.
Berrien looked up slowly back at them.
“Ah…sorry, you look a little sad…I thought they were tears…” You offered Berrien more napkins.
“Fufu…thank you for your kindness, ( )-san….” He took some and carefully wiped his fingers one-by-one and then his lips.
“…maybe I am intruding but…are you alright…?” You looked very concerned.
“Ah…..if I were honest with you….” Berrien stared and lifted the cooled tea cup again and took another sip.
“…this is delicious…but…it seems like it got mixed in with…my…”
His face was completely covered with gentle tears. “You…reminded me a lot of my most important person….someone that I can never forget….”
You looked back at Berrien kindly. “What kind of person are they?”
Berrien took his handkerchief out and wiped his tears. “Someone that is so gentle…they are the light that brings us hope…”
“Sounds like a hero…”
“Fufu…they really are…but to me, personally, they are my life itself.”
“Your life…?”
“My life’s purpose….my life’s love….in its entirety.”
“….I see….and I reminded you of them?”
“Yes…but I don’t think they’ll ever forgive me…”
“That’s not true-“
“It is…because…I was the reason why they’re not here anymore….i couldn’t save them….”
“….Berrien.”
“….? My name…A-“
A warm vanilla madeleine was stuffed in his mouth. The familiar sweetness spread on his tongue.
“Berrien…it wasn’t your fault at all…”
Berrien’s eyes shined as radiant as the jewels when everything clicked in his mind. He finished the madeleine that melted in his lips and he whispered, “arujisama….?”
“Please forgive me for my rude actions but…Berrien, please don’t blame yourself for what happened back then…”
“A…Arujisama…you’re…a…”
Berrien felt the pain on his tongue from the hot tea before and he knew that it wasn’t a dream. But how could this be…?
He did read in books that there was a possibility of a reincarnation, but it has never occurred in real life, simply in fictions.
“This…might be shocking to you…and I never want to disrupt your life, but seeing how you are now…made me worried about you a lot, Berrien…” You clenched on your apron. “I reincarnated with my past life’s memories…I remembered Berrien…I remembered Muu, I remembered Lono, Bastien, Haures, Fennesz, Boschi, Ammon, Lucas, Lamli, Nac, Miyaji, Flure, Lato, Yuuhan, Hanamaru, Teddy, Bellen, Shiro, everyone…!” You took another breath. “But I couldn’t do anything as Arujisama anymore…that’s why I hope that I could help you in another form…” You find your gaze back on Berrien’s eyes. “But I never knew that my death would cause you this much guilt, Berrien…it wasn’t your fault at all…you saved me, Berrien…!”
You glanced at Berrien’s expression. He doesn’t seem to utter a word. “Berrien…? A…are you alright…?”
Berrien’s delicate snowflake eyelashes fluttered. His pink cerise eyes stared into the bottom of the teacup, with the remains of the tea leaf dusts.
He held the teacup handle with his dominant left hand and slowly swirls the teacup from left to right. Then, Berrien used his left hand to invert the teacup on the saucer plate. “Arujisama…” he finally opened his mouth and slowly looked at you. “Did you remember that I have told you about tea leaf readings?”
“Ah…! I think you did told me about it…” You felt a little relieved to see Berrien responding.
Berrien smiled softly as he turned the teacup right side up and made sure the handle is facing south. You stared at the cup and whispered, “What did you ask for, Berrien?”
The tea leaves were positioned at the nearest to the handle, some are near to the rim. Berrien glanced back at you and he held out his palm. “May I have your hand, Arujisama….?”
Your face blushed a little at Berrien’s serious expression and you nodded while placing your hand on Berrien’s palm. He overlayed his other hand on top of yours gently. He closed his eyes and took another breath. “Your hand…is so warm…the most precious hand…that made me feel the most secure…I remembered Arujisama was the one who woke me up from my nightmare in the White Rabbit Circus…back when I was overworking myself…at that time…I dreamt that I lost the people who are very dear to me…I didn’t want to lose anyone anymore…especially you, Arujisama…” Berrien’s warm tears dropped onto the back of your hand as he gently held them even more. “Only you…Arujisama…could wake me up from these nightmares…”
“Berrien….” You reached your hand and caressed Berrien’s cheek carefully. You brushed his tears with your thumb, and softly comforted him.
Berrien leaned onto your soft touch and felt your warmth even more on his cheek as his tears slides into your palm.
“Arujisama….” He finally opened his beautiful eyes and faced you. “I have always been the one who has waited for others to come…because I truly believed that one day…they’ll come back again.” He squeezed onto your hand lovingly. “And I’ve waited for father…I’ve waited for Beren…I’ve waited for everyone at devil’s palace and wished that they will come back safely…after all…it gets lonely without everyone here…and Arujisama….you’re the heart of the palace…whenever you went back to your world…whenever you’re on a trip for the missions….I would always look out the glass window…hoping for your safe return…and……” You could feel his hands trembling on yours. “How terrifying it is to have seen my nightmares turned into reality….when I held you in my arms…feeling your heart beat then eventually…..”
“It’s okay…you don’t have to trace back to that painful memory, Berrien….”
“Arujisama…it is my fault for not protecting you properly…had I shield you with my own body…you would still be here…”
“No! That cannot be…you shouldn’t do that, Berrien….! You’re also very, very dear to everyone….to me…! If you die…then there’s no meaning too…!”
“Arujisama……”
Berrien lifted his right hand from your hand and brushed your tears as well. “I apologize for making you cry too…”
“It’s alright….”
“….Arujisama….there isn’t a day that I haven’t thought of you…” He intertwined his left hand with your fingers. “Every night, I wished that I could see you in my dreams…even in nightmares…but that way, I can see you…every traces of you in your room…the teacup that you used the most, the chair that you sat in during afternoon tea…everything is left intact…because I never want any trace of you to be erased…I do not wish that you’ll disappear from this world….it seems that my muscle memory would let me brew an extra tea just for you, arujisama. You’re the only one that I want to make black tea for all of my life…and…to think that I can finally meet you…makes all the waiting worthwhile.” His eyes gleamed with more tears mixed with joy and hope. “Arujisama….could all of this been my dream? Have I gone to meet you already? Perhaps I didn’t strike that angel…but that angel already took me to see you…? That’s why everything is so wonderful here…?”
“Berrien…you’re alive….I’m alive too….” You smiled back tenderly.
Berrien smiled with the most tenderness. “Is that so…then…arujisama…if I can be more selfish….please let us stay like this a little longer…I want to stay with you a little longer…”
“Of course, Berrien….”
“…thank you for living and remembering me, Arujisama….thank you for smiling….thank you for existing…”
“Thank you for waiting for me….and thinking about me, Berrien….”
You both intertwined your hands even more intimately.
“I’ll never be apart from you again, arujisama…I’ll always stay by your side…and never let you feel any loneliness anymore….for that is the wish that I wished for the tea leaves. I’ll see you and be near you…very very soon. And the leaves blessed us with that answer.”
The End
