#bert chapman

[askmeaboutmyoctopustheory]

van chapman grew up eating hard tack and salt beef. she married a chef. her family is cursed to die young at sea. she grew old with someone she loved and opened a pub. she wanted to send him home to protect him. he wants to stay and make her tacos.

[tattooedlane]

I know people are disappointed that Van isn’t a lesbian but isnt it so cute how Van is this large, rowdy woman who is respected by her pirate clientele while her husband is this small, loving man who has the voice of an angel and likes to write the trivia questions?

Vanellope “I support my husband’s aioilis” Chapman and Bert “my adventurous wife can beat you up” Chapman.

[audible301]

BERT HAS A GUN!!!!

[user-without-a-cool-acronym]

[misscryptidart]

they gave the wife guy a gun

[navpike]

bert has a gun do NOT worry if he knows what to do with it

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

I love that Daisuke kissed Bert probably thinking it would be the most surprising part of that interaction only for Van to turn it around on him and say "we've already discussed this and you're Bert's hallpass"

Like I can easily see her pulling Bert aside as soon as they got on the ship and telling him "everybody falls in love with Pappy at least once, so if you get a shot you'd better take it"

[rooolt]

OBSESSED with the way ghost dog can like man the shields or operate a crane and be just generally mechanically useful npc and bert is only allowed to make aioli and give the help action