UUUUUUH CAN I GET A STAY ALIVE LEVIAN FOR THE UNWIND AU
Lev is not a martyr; he has never claimed to fight for a cause, nor has he ever wanted to. Even as he escaped his unwinding (through tricking everyone around him, mainly), he had told himself that this is only a temporary incident; he doesn’t want to devote his life to the cause.
Ian is quite the opposite; if you care – and he’ll argue that of course you care, how could you not? – if you care, you should want to fight to the death. He’d never flat out tell Lev that he disapproves, but it’s obvious every time Ian leaves to protest something and Lev sits behind and stands watch.
“You’re afraid.” Ian states that in passing as he rummages through his bag, looking for the few articles of decent clothing that they have between them. Lev, lucky enough to be staying ‘home’, is wearing the same ragged hoodie he’s had for the past few months.
“I’ve spent weeks trying not to die, Ian.” He’s calm as he shifts his weight from foot to foot, tugging the hem of his shirt. They’d had this discussion plenty of times before; at this point, neither had much emotion behind their words. “I won’t risk it.”
Ian, having found the clothes, stays silent; he’s preparing his next argument, no doubt, and Lev finds himself wishing the argument would end before they end up too bitter to talk to each other. He speaks again, testing the waters. “I…I have a lot to live for.”
Here, Ian laughs, as cold as possible. “We’re awols. What do we have – parents who got rid of us, friends we haven’t seen since the order was signed?” He isn’t even cruel about saying it; it’s a simple fact, nothing more. “You know what I have? The chance to actually change something.”
Lev sighs, trying to look anywhere but in Ian’s direction; he finally settles with his gaze on Ian’s shoes. “I – I have a future. A career, college – I’ve worked too hard to lose it all.”
“You’re in the same situation as myself.” Ian points out, his voice slightly gentler; he can, at least, relate to having put in effort only to have it torn away for something he’d spent too long hiding.
“Yeah.” Lev sighs again, clicking his tongue in hopes of holding back things that don’t need to be said. The relative silence grows to be unbearable, at least for him, and he clings to what’s left. “We have each other, though.” The silence grows only heavier; too much, too much. “Uh, same situation, I mean, and all.”
Despite Lev’s corrections, Ian understands; he hesitates, then shakes his head and steps back until his shoes leave Lev’s line of sight. “Get some rest.” He’s left before Lev can even argue against the idea of resting when he’s so afraid.
