in the summer before fourth grade (i was 9) me and a couple of my siblings went swimming out in the middle of the woods (this was before i almost died of an allergy attack so we thought it was Safe) but one of the rivers flooded while we were there so we just . couldn’t leave for three days
and this was like ... the thick af forest w wild animals and such and we slept in a car and we didn’t have any food (we had water though!) and it sucked ... so much. at one point this hippie couple who apparently just lived out in the woods came across us and gave us some vegan meat stuff and told us to carry on and it was wicked
anyways we got home eventually and it was an exciting three days
Listened to It | wtf is that | LOVE IT | meh | um…hate it | heard of it | yes!!
Rate: 1-10: IM GIVING IT A 10 I WOULD DIE FOR WAITRESS WRITTEN BY SARA BAREILLES AND DIRECTED BY DIANE PAULUS, STARRING JESSIE MUELLER
Favorite Lyric: okay so: “i’ll show them all how goddamn happy i am!” or “she’s imperfect, but she tries. she is good, but she lies. she is hard on herself; she is broken and won’t ask for help. she is messy, but she’s kind. she is lonely most of the time. she is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie. she is gone, but she used to be mine.”
Favorite Song: I REALLY CANT PICK OKAY,,,,, whats inside, opening up, what baking can do, a soft place to land, she used to be mine, and everything changes
Favorite Character: idk maybe jenna hunterson shes ok /:
Best Moment: WHEN LULU IS BORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOE
Something that makes me angry: earl fucking hunterson
Gives me the chills: every jenna / earl interaction in the entire show
“Ouch, I bit my lip… kiss it better?” FGDAJ PROPAUL
fluffy sentence starters
Jared’s suave demeanor, carefully crafted to leave all passerby completely smitten, has no visible effect on Paul. In Jared’s eyes, this is a failure; to not be able to entrance the person he’s actually dating is evident of some kind of fault, surely, so he compensates by trying harder.
Like so many other things, Paul is unaware of how his behavior upsets Jared – if anything, he’d think his reactions to each mannerism is perfectly well-founded. If he were to find out, he would definitely put in an effort to seem awed, but it wouldn’t really count, not to Jared; anybody can pretend to be smitten.
So Jared persists, with bouquets of flowers, with lingering touches and soft stares, and every time Paul reacts with genuine gratitude and a kind smile, but never with wide eyes or stuttering statements. This lack of a greater reaction accumulates in every situation imaginable – ferris wheels, romantic outings, declarations of love, and every time, Paul is flattered; of course he’s flattered.
The two are in the library now, together but separate – Jared is working to craft origami flowers (another one of his romantic demonstrations for Paul, not that Paul has realized that), and Paul is messing around on his phone (technically, he’s studying, but the textbook in front of him has only been opened, and his pencil isn’t even sharpened). It’s been silent since they settled in; Paul’s arm is thrown across the back of Jared’s chair, and every so often, Jared shifts his weight and lightly nudges Paul’s arm. It seems to Jared that Paul considers this to be the height of intimacy.
Jared leans over to focus on a particularly intricate portion, his bottom lip catching between his teeth as he works. At the same moment, Paul hits a good combination on the game he’s playing (some knockoff app that’s shockingly difficult to play) and sits up, jerking his arm off Jared’s chair and effectively pushing Jared towards the table. Jared pushes back to avoid hitting his face against the table, but it isn’t enough to keep him from biting down on his lip.
Paul laughs through an apology while Jared prods at his lip experimentally – he’s not bleeding, but it’s going to be swollen, and he pouts as he thinks about the connotations of that. Paul notices the silence and leans over, still grinning. “You alright?”
Jared rolls his eyes even as he responds, fully aware of how stupid his comment is going to be but saying it nonetheless. “I bit my lip.” He winces, but leans closer – a better atmosphere might make things smoother. “Kiss it better?”
He fully expects Paul to burst out laughing, but instead, he freezes – his mouth falls slightly open, and Jared could swear he could feel Paul’s cheeks heat up even at the distance away that he is. Jared’s eyes practically light up – this is what he’d wanted, and he hadn’t even done something as incredible as he’d wanted to.
He’s still rolling in the excitement of succeeding when Paul closes the distance between them; they kiss long enough for a passing student worker to clear his throat. Even then, Jared only pulls back enough to mumble about getting coded for public displays of affection. Paul is still starstruck, his eyes fluttered half shut.
“That was … kind of adorable.” He finally says, the words spilling out in a rush. Jared chuckles, then leans back in his seat; anything to keep people guessing.
UUUUUUH CAN I GET A STAY ALIVE LEVIAN FOR THE UNWIND AU
Lev is not a martyr; he has never claimed to fight for a cause, nor has he ever wanted to. Even as he escaped his unwinding (through tricking everyone around him, mainly), he had told himself that this is only a temporary incident; he doesn’t want to devote his life to the cause.
Ian is quite the opposite; if you care – and he’ll argue that of course you care, how could you not? – if you care, you should want to fight to the death. He’d never flat out tell Lev that he disapproves, but it’s obvious every time Ian leaves to protest something and Lev sits behind and stands watch.
“You’re afraid.” Ian states that in passing as he rummages through his bag, looking for the few articles of decent clothing that they have between them. Lev, lucky enough to be staying ‘home’, is wearing the same ragged hoodie he’s had for the past few months.
“I’ve spent weeks trying not to die, Ian.” He’s calm as he shifts his weight from foot to foot, tugging the hem of his shirt. They’d had this discussion plenty of times before; at this point, neither had much emotion behind their words. “I won’t risk it.”
Ian, having found the clothes, stays silent; he’s preparing his next argument, no doubt, and Lev finds himself wishing the argument would end before they end up too bitter to talk to each other. He speaks again, testing the waters. “I…I have a lot to live for.”
Here, Ian laughs, as cold as possible. “We’re awols. What do we have – parents who got rid of us, friends we haven’t seen since the order was signed?” He isn’t even cruel about saying it; it’s a simple fact, nothing more. “You know what I have? The chance to actually change something.”
Lev sighs, trying to look anywhere but in Ian’s direction; he finally settles with his gaze on Ian’s shoes. “I – I have a future. A career, college – I’ve worked too hard to lose it all.”
“You’re in the same situation as myself.” Ian points out, his voice slightly gentler; he can, at least, relate to having put in effort only to have it torn away for something he’d spent too long hiding.
“Yeah.” Lev sighs again, clicking his tongue in hopes of holding back things that don’t need to be said. The relative silence grows to be unbearable, at least for him, and he clings to what’s left. “We have each other, though.” The silence grows only heavier; too much, too much. “Uh, same situation, I mean, and all.”
Despite Lev’s corrections, Ian understands; he hesitates, then shakes his head and steps back until his shoes leave Lev’s line of sight. “Get some rest.” He’s left before Lev can even argue against the idea of resting when he’s so afraid.
The two aren’t exactly known for their shining romantic displays. Lev isn’t much for being touched without permission; Ian isn’t much for public displays of affection, anyway. Neither of them can whisper sweet nothings without getting embarrassed, and public endeavors only make things worse.
With these facts firmly established, Lev is just as surprised as everyone else when Ian drops a plate of brownies in front of him at lunch.
Ian doesn’t comment at all; briefly, Lev wonders why he’d choose lunch for this if he didn’t want anyone to pay attention to it.
Despite Ian’s nonchalance, Lev is well aware of how his gaze cuts over to Lev every few seconds, clearly waiting for some kind of reaction. Lev takes his time, picking up the post-it note with his name written on it in a nearly painfully neat script.
It isn’t until Ian has grown visually annoyed and half the surrounding table is watching that Lev finally picks up a brownie. Based entirely on visuals, he isn’t expecting anything delicious; silently, he chastises himself for being pretentious.
Even with his expectations, the bite he takes catches him off guard. He blinks, sets down the brownie, and takes a drink of water, all without saying a word. He then turns to Ian and proclaims, without an ounce of cruelty, “These taste terrible, Ian.”
Ian’s eyes widen, but he quickly catches himself; Lev’s honesty becomes a normal thing after a while. Still, Ian rolls his eyes and reaches for a napkin to absentmindedly fold. “You’re welcome, Lev.”
“Oh, thank you.” Lev says, focused on the brownies in front of him. He doesn’t as if Ian wants advice before he begins, running down a mental checklist. “Less baking soda -- you shouldn’t be able to taste it. Take them out of the oven before they’re done. Always put coffee in chocolate things, no matter what the recipe says.”
He probably would’ve continued had Ian not picked up one of the incriminating brownies and pressed it against Lev’s teeth. Lev is forced to pause and reach for another drink just to get the bitter taste out of his mouth.
“Maybe,” Ian is quickly cut off by Lev sticking out his tongue in an overly exaggerated manner, but he continues soon enough. “Maybe you should just teach me, oh great expert.”
Lev claps his hands in quick response, a better affirmative than any words ever were; Ian turns back to his meal and pretends nothing had happened at all. They’re back to normal, but a thousand times happier for it.
“ i don’t think i can keep this up much longer. ” ALSO HUNGER GAMES AU LEVIAN
They’re famous in their own right. Ian had – quite unintentionally – made the capitol love him when he’d responded to classic “Are there any girls you’re leaving behind?” question with an eye roll and a “Guys, thank you.” Lev, meanwhile, had mentioned his ex-boyfriend in passing, none too cheerfully.
And then the audience had decided to associate them with each other, because that’s what audiences do.
It isn’t exactly a shock when their mentors all but force them into an alliance. Anything for sponsors, after all.
The two train beside each other and try their best to seem like best friends, at least. It isn’t exactly smooth, but onlookers would believe it.
“Does anyone really think this is realistic?” Ian begins one day, fully prepared for an inconsequential rant. Lev doesn’t react, his fingers fluttering over some demonstrative wires; he’s a district five kid, through and through. Ian has been waiting for him to finish for fifteen minutes, and his bored appearance reflects that. “You don’t really think the arena will actually have any of this just sitting around, do you?”
“Good thing you know how to work with fabrics, huh?” Lev’s response comes back so evenly that he could pass it off as a genuine compliment, but Ian recognizes it for what it is. Before tensions can get too high, Lev continues, his hand finally settling on a coil of wire. “Nothing about the games is realistic.”
“That isn’t what I meant.” Ian protests. Lev nods, too focused on his own work; he strokes the exposed metal at one end of the wire, then drops the coil.
“I guess we just have to be good fakers.”
It’s difficult to keep clever banter up while fighting for one’s life, but they do regardless. Otherwise, there would’ve been no reason at all to be in an alliance; neither of them brought anything especially useful to the table.
The first night is frantic, with them struggling to hide in the open expanse of the arena, trying their hardest to avoid other signs of civilization. The second night, they’ve formed a small shelter, and they don’t feel the need to stay completely on edge.
It’s cold, because it’s a desert, something neither of them had noticed in the panic of the night before. It only takes a few minutes of shivering for Ian to pull Lev closer to him. Lev stiffens, but accepts it soon enough, because -- well, it’s cold, and besides, their mentors have got to love this!
Sure enough, just as Lev is closing his eyes, a silver parachute falls. Ian slides it closer to them, but he doesn’t open it, evidently as tired as Lev. The parachute now sitting safely by their heads, he buries his face in Lev’s neck -- performing for the camera, Lev is sure.
Just like he’s sure that it’s all a performance when, a good ten minutes later (because of course Lev couldn’t sleep, as if the situation wasn’t awkward enough), Ian mumbles “Not looking forward to losing this.”
Even though it’d been ages, and he was too quiet for the camera to hear, and they’d already gotten their reward -- because admitting anything else would mean forcing Lev to admit it to himself.
kiss, marry, fight in a car park: ian, jared, paul
sleepover questions
i’d fight paul no hesitations it doesn’t even have to be in a car park
i love jared so much but marriage to him would be EXHAUSTING .. then again marriage to ian would mean i have to eat like every meal w him .... i’ll marry ian bc i’m gay despite all odds and then i’ll kiss jared bc he deserves affection
