Long time no update.
Apparently about 18 months, since I last updated. I have many writings from the interim period, but no time to polish, edit and clean them. Maybe, I’ll get around to sharing a few. Briefly, here’s what’s happened:
From where we left off, Amy and I continued therapy and came to realize that Amy is on the ASD spectrum-- high functioning, and on the spectrum. It explains a lot. It was a lot more than the November rain incidents, but it all added up. That realization, and the months that it took to reach acceptance, are why we have thrived since then.
The week after my last post, I decided to go on a few dates, and ended up having Designer reach back out to me. Over the next few months, we’d see each other intermittently, and mostly as flirty friends, and eventually more.
Z ended things with Duane soon after my last post. I don’t know what happened, but I was supportive as I could. She prefers her privacy so I never asked much beyond what she offered.
We took a big-fat-poly-vacation to South Africa last summer: Amy, Z, Me, the kids. Amy described the vacation as “the best trip she’s ever taken with me,” because of Z’s presence. Z seems to have a good time as well, even if she expressed newfound doubts that the kids were indeed angels.
Amy has done better about asking for what she wants. She has asked Z and I to step up more with the kids, and we’ve had some great times as they’ve learned to love Z through the more constant time together.
Living with Z (and still living with Amy) is going great. Except for that time the kids gave her head lice.
Work has gone bonkers. Way too much of it. But I’ve been able to achieve some amazing things.
Things 1 and 2 are doing great. Near perfect grades in school, good emotional development, and a wonderful mix of mischief and maturity as they should be. Some issues between Amy and thing 2, as exposed to Z more clearly in South Africa. But I’ve helped Amy navigate Thing 2 -- who is turning out to be a lot like me, just smarter, cuter, and more dangerous.
Oh and I nearly forgot to mention, I came out as Poly to my entire social network. For Z’s safety, I unfriended her first, but now openly share our photos, our stories, our lives together to all: neighbors, school, work, family. I made the choice that my life was something to be proud of and my relationships to be celebrated. And all those who weren’t going to be cool with it, could just disappear. No one did. Or if they did, I sure as hell didn’t even notice.
In between it all, there’ve been stories of sweaty sex, wonderful gifts, loving getaways, and supporting each other through challenges. Life is good, always working to shape it better, but life is good.
