#bg3 memes

[wiselyvillainous]

Ugly cackling while I make memes of Excellence and her companions 🤣

[jaebird88]

[itsjensenlake]

[raphael-balls-inspector]

Hi dear Inspector!!!

I read your bio/pages about you and I wanted to ask which tea is your favorite, if you have one please?

Any tips about it or how to pick tea?

Thank you so much!!

Miraith, Tiefling

Hello, good morning.

Oh, Miraith, what a lovely question! You have no idea how dangerous it is to ask me about tea! I could be trapped in this archive for six hours and emerge having written you an essay.

I don't think I could choose one favorite, exactly. Tea depends terribly on the mood, the weather, the time of day, and whether I am attempting to be productive or merely staring dramatically out of a window.

If I absolutely must choose, though, oolong is probably the one I return to most often. A good oolong has so much character to it, and there are an absurd number of varieties. Floral, creamy, roasted, fruity, mineral, almost buttery depending on how it is processed. It's a very good "sit down and stop thinking for five minutes" tea.

For something gentler, I adore white peony. It's delicate without being completely flavorless, and I find it wonderful in the afternoon. Genmaicha is another favorite, particularly when I want something comforting. The toasted rice gives it that warm, almost nutty quality that makes it feel like drinking something from a little kitchen while it rains outside.

And then there is gyokuro, which is wonderful when I am feeling unnecessarily fancy. Which is often.

I also have a weakness for jasmine pearls. Watching the little pearls unfurl in the pot is half the pleasure. I will not accept arguments otherwise.

Earl Grey, naturally. Sometimes you simply require bergamot and a degree of emotional superiority.

As for darker teas, lapsang souchong is excellent when you want something smoky and almost campfire-like. Pu-erh is wonderful if you're interested in something earthy and deep, although I would recommend trying a few before deciding whether you like it. They can vary wildly.

As for choosing tea, my first piece of advice would be: Do not choose tea based solely on what someone tells you is "the best."

Tea is incredibly personal.

If you enjoy floral flavors, try jasmine, osmanthus, floral oolongs, or some white teas. If you like roasted or nutty flavors, try hojicha, genmaicha, roasted oolong, or darker teas. If you like something bright and fresh, green tea or a lighter white tea might suit you. If you want something rich and earthy, look toward black tea or pu-erh.

And please, please pay attention to water temperature!

This is where I become unbearable.

Green tea does not need boiling water. I am begging you. Please do not take delicate green tea leaves and then essentially throw them into an infernal cauldron.

Something around 70–80°C is usually much kinder to many green teas, although it depends on the particular tea. White tea can tolerate a little more, oolongs vary enormously, and black teas generally enjoy hotter water. If you have a gaiwan, even better, you can experiment with shorter steeps and discover how the flavor changes.

And don't throw away the leaves after one steep!

Some teas, particularly good oolongs, can be steeped several times. Each infusion can bring out something different!

Also: smell your tea before you brew it.

This sounds terribly pretentious, I accept this accusation.

But it's genuinely useful. Dry leaves can tell you quite a lot. Floral? Toasty? Woody? Fruity? Smoky? Fresh? Earthy? Then smell the wet leaves afterward. You'll start noticing differences you might otherwise miss.

And finally, keep a little notebook.

I write down the tea, where it came from, the temperature, steeping time, how many times I infused it, what I ate with it, and whether I liked it.

I may have also given one tea the review: "Tastes like someone politely threatened an orchard."

I stand by it.

And, since you are a Tiefling... I feel obligated to mention some House of Hope-inspired teas.

Not official, obviously. Just things I think would be fun to brew. I have been begging his Lordship to let me make House of Hope teas so we could sell them but so far I have not received an answer beside a "maybe later"....

Infernal Rose — black tea, dried rose petals, vanilla, and a tiny amount of smoked spice. Dramatic. Excessively elegant. Best served in something unnecessarily ornate.

Devil's Bargain — roasted oolong, cacao nibs, cinnamon, and orange peel. Deep, warm, slightly bitter, and much nicer than the name suggests.

Hope's Garden — white tea with jasmine, chamomile, lavender, and a little honey. Very soft. Particularly good late at night.

Hellfire Chai — black tea, ginger, cinnamon, cardamom, clove, and pepper. Excellent when it's cold outside and you require something that feels like it could restart your circulatory system.

Archivist's Blend — Earl Grey, bergamot peel, dried lavender, and black tea. I may be biased.

Raphael's Cup — something absurdly expensive that tastes wonderful and comes in packaging designed to make you feel financially irresponsible.

I have not actually made that last one. Yet.

And Miraith, if you're just beginning to explore tea, don't worry about having a sophisticated palate! Try things! Keep the ones you love. Give away the ones you hate. Brew the same tea differently and see what happens.

There is no correct way to enjoy tea beyond actually enjoying it.

Although if you put honey in a very delicate tea and then tell me you can't taste anything anymore, I may have to take the kettle away from you.

Respectfully.

— Lucien, Raphael's Balls Inspector

P.S. Thank you for calling me "dear Inspector." I am keeping that.

[raphael-balls-inspector]

OFFICE OF THE RAPHAEL'S BALLS INSPECTOR

The Department of Infernal Administration is pleased to announce the opening of the RP & Collaborations Ledger!

Contained within are: ✦ Current writing projects & fics to be published ✦ Active current collaborations ✦ Roleplay statuses ✦ Availability updates ✦ General information for prospective co-conspirators

This document shall be amended as contracts are signed, completed, or mysteriously catch fire.

Should you wish to collaborate or write together, my DMs remain open. Kindly submit your inquiry once and allow the Inspector sufficient time to process the paperwork. Repeated attempts (spam) to expedite your request will not improve your standing with this office.

Thank you for your continued patience. This as also been added to the pinned post of this account.

— Management

[raphael-balls-inspector]

URGENT: Orb Inspector Has Been Orb Inspected?????

I WAS GOING TO BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS. I REALLY WAS. I OPENED THE MESSAGE, SAW THE PREVIEW, AND I THINK I GENUINELY BROKE MY VOCAL CORDS'

MEL. WHAT THE FUCK-😭😭😭

Somehow, against all odds, she has managed to make me lose my mind again. We started joking around with Haarlep and Lucien for fun like I mentioned on the first fanart sharing, because I write and she draws and apparently that's a recipe for enabling each other into oblivion. Fast forward a little while and suddenly she's sending me not one, not two, but MULTIPLE fully rendered illustrations of my poor little infernal archivist looking so offensively beautiful that I had to stare at my monitor for a solid five minutes before my brain rebooted.

AND THEN SHE TELLS ME THERE'S A C-FREE VERSION AND A C VERSION (rhymes with "pumpkin pie". Sorry but I would like to stay on tumblr-)

EXCUSE ME?????????? I'M SUPPOSED TO JUST GO ABOUT MY DAY AFTER THAT INFORMATION????

I'm posting the cropped versions here because, despite everything, I would quite like to continue existing on this website. The full versions are linked below for those interested. Please enjoy responsibly. Unlike me.

I genuinely don't think I can explain how surreal it is seeing someone take a character that's lived in your head for a bit, someone you've written words about, and draw them exactly as you imagined them. The little details, the jewelry, the expressions, the posture, the atmosphere, it all feels so Lucien to me. That's such an incredible feeling as a writer.

Thank you Mel, not just for making gorgeous art, but for loving this silly little archivist enough to spend your time drawing him!! It honestly means the world to me!!!♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

First fanart link

Second fanart link (c version)

Second fanart link (c free version)

And to see all of the fanarts together, here is the page link!

...

WITH THAT SAID.

WHAT THE FUCK.

I HAVE NOT RECOVERED.

I DON'T THINK I WILL RECOVER.

MY NEIGHBORS PROBABLY THINK SOMEONE DIED.

I'M FAIRLY CERTAIN I SHATTERED MY VOCAL CORDS THE SECOND I OPENED DISCORD.

MY BRAIN HAS BEEN REDUCED TO DIAL-UP INTERNET NOISES.

PLEASE GO TELL @melhyan SHE'S INCREDIBLE WHILE I CONTINUE STARING AT THESE LIKE A VICTORIAN MAN DISCOVERING COLOR FOR THE FIRST TIME-

[jupitermayyy]

Spawn Astarion vs Ascended Astarion

[lady-sapphyre]

Happy third birthday to hit video game Baldur’s Gate 3