#bggrizoo

[bggrizzo]

not even my soul talks to me anymore

If I could stop writing about you I would, but you’re always kissing a cheek in my loneliest of lost breaths

[bggrizzo]

hang your sorrows on my heartstrings so we can be everything we promised we would become

[bggrizzo]

caught

these raindrops no longer hold the letters of your name I stand outside close my eyes try to feel your embrace under street lights smell your lips in puddles I don’t dance I sit on the curb wish on passing car headlights the bottom doesn’t bother me as much as the fall the anticipation of hitting soaring wings instead of wet concrete I wanted to be more to you than what I needed I wanted to fly I wanted this emptiness to be full of words I open my eyes hold out my hands inhale grey droplets shout kisses to xenons taste what I wanted in the abruptness of a half-empty puddle & the swoosh of phantom

wings

[bggrizzo]

Happiness is a lie branches tell leaves

red yel low or ange

[bggrizzo]

Some people will make you feel like this believe me when I tell you it is not a fault of

your

own

rewrite definitions after you collect the letters in your mirror & know

I’m rewriting mine too

[bggrizzo]

there's a broken piece of metal on my keychain shaped like what's left of your Heart

darling there’s no way in fuck I would leave the shelter of your arms

you know I’ve been searching for Home since I left Ollie wrapped in a blue blanket blowing kisses to the Moon

I’m learning to accept that he will always have the most vital pieces of my being & one day I’ll see him I’ll be whole again I won’t be this shell that you hold so delicately in your little fingers

I’ve been a Nomad since the day his brother was born & as much as I’ve contemplated I can’t take my only son from his only brother

I walked the soles off my boots my feet are so bloody and worn my socks are red threads stretching back for miles & miles

Frost was right I have many left to go but now my north star magnetizes northwest

I would be lying if I told you I wasn’t fucking tired I pitched a tent with his mom that blew away in the first wind

I built a house in Austin on the sand & watched my dreams drown under constellations of crest waves

my home town is just a popular phrase people write into Grammy lyrics

to me it’s just another city another place I don’t want to be

this chain smoked backyard used to hold a white, blue and green slide with a swing set & a tree house my father built for my brother & me now it contains two dying trees & the ghost of my first dog Brandy

so darling when you tell me Home is your arms once I open the door to your heart I’ll never fucking leave not because I have nowhere else to go

there’s no other place I want to be

[bggrizzo]

all those things we built became broken beams buckling under the pressure of the holes left behind by balls of betrayal & never happen agains that you promised

I promise too my lover you are now a forgotten friend

[bggrizzo]

darling you may need to listen a little harder to hear my smile in this song but it’s still strugging to hold the corners of my mouth up for you because you need it just as much

as I need yours