You and Poe were something.
You wouldn’t say you were together, because you’d never had the conversation about being exclusive. But you were something, stuck in the awkward stage between friends and boyfriend and girlfriend. And maybe it was now your turn to take the next step and ask Poe what he wanted your relationship to be.
These were the thoughts running through your head while you busied yourself while you were tinkering with the parts of a destroyed droid someone had dropped off earlier. But as if your thoughts had summoned him, you felt Poe’s hands on your shoulder.
“Do you have a minute?”, he asked, while starting your tense muscles.
It took you a moment before you could answer. Both because no matter how much closer the two of you had grown, Poe’s presence still had you tongue tied sometimes, which is why instead of words, a low moan escaped you when he hit a muscle that had been sore for days.
“Do you really think it is wise to make such noises in the workshop, sweetheart? People might get the wrong idea of what we’re doing in here.”
You knew you should care, usually you really did care about your reputation, but in that moment you needed nothing more than Poe’s hands working at your tense shoulders.
“Let them”, you groaned, leaning further into his touch.
You heard Poe chuckle behind you and after a few more moments he stopped massaging your tense shoulders to which you replied with a whine.
“Sorry, sweetheart. As much as I like hearing those sounds coming from your pretty mouth, I really need to talk to you.”
It was rare for Poe to be this serious, which is why you turned around to face him. His handsome face was solemn, but not enough for you to think that something bad had happened.
Maybe it’s finally time to talk about our relationship, you thought.
“Are you up for a picnic?”
Poe held up a small bag you hadn’t noticed before. A picnic had to be a good sign, it was something romantic, especially now that it was nearing sundown, so the chances that Poe would ask you to be his official girlfriend were quite good.
“Always. Is BB8 joining us?”
He shook his head, sending a few dark curls flying, which caused you to repress the urge to push them back.
“Not today, I wanna be alone with you”, he said with a small smile before he added. “Are you okay with that?”
You smiled in return. What have you done to deserve an almost-boyfriend as sweet as Poe Dameron?
“I’m always okay being alone with you. More than okay, actually.”
His smile widened, as did yours when he grabbed your hand to pull you away from your workstation.
“Wait a second”, you laughed at his eagerness. “I still need to clean up a bit.”
As soon as Poe let go of your hand you missed the warmth, the way your hands fit perfectly together, but as much as you wanted to start your alone time as soon as possible, you couldn’t leave the tools and droid parts just laying there until tomorrow.
Putting everything away and in its place only took a few moments, but from the corner of your eyes you could see Poe getting impatient. He was fiddling with the ring around his neck, running a hand through his hair and stepping back and forth.
He really has no reason to be this nervous, considering how obvious my crush on him is, you thought as you shut the final drawer.
“I’m good to go”, you announced.
Poe stopped his pacing and took your hand in his again. The smile he sent you showed none of the nervousness you had seen just a few moments ago.
“This seems like a good place, don’t you think?”
You laughed as you looked around. Trees, bushes, grass and a few flowers here and there, the ‘good place’ looked like everywhere else on this planet.
“Sure, Poe. Just as good as the other three places you have already suggested.”
The two of you had been walking for about twenty minutes already, during which Poe had suggested multiple spots to have your picnic, but after a bit of consideration he had declared that there would be a better place further into the forest.
“This one has more of the purple flowers you like. You like the purple flowers, don’t you?”
As sweet as Poe’s behaviour was, you were getting a bit impatient. He had promised a picnic and you have been starving for a while now.
“I like the purple flowers very much, almost as much as I’d like to finally sit down and eat.”
Poe finally stopped investigating your surroundings to look at you. The look of concern on his face turned into one of regret.
“Of course! I invited you for a picnic, not a hike, after all.”
He opened his bag to pull out a small blanket, not much bigger than an average sized towel, which he laid down on the ground.
Before Poe had the chance to invite you to take a seat, you sat down. Poe followed shortly after.
Though you wouldn’t say it out loud, you were glad the blanket was so tiny, because it meant the two of you would be sitting closely together. So close, in fact, that your hips and thighs were pressed against one another.
As soon as he was seated next to you, Poe pulled out a small box, which he opened to reveal an assortment of fruit, and two glass bottles filled with water.
“It’s not much, we’re low on rations at the moment”, he tried to apologize, but you stopped him.
“It’s way better than the crappy stew I would have probably gotten in the mess”, you told him.
He chuckled as he handed you a fork and motioned for you to start eating.
You chose your favourite, which you just so happened to know was Poe’s least favourite, which was one more reason you were a match made in heaven. Similar enough to get along perfectly, but different enough to keep things interesting, though not so different that it would cause issues.
“So... How was your day?”
You raised an eyebrow, but Poe just kept chewing and looked at you expectantly.
“Is that really why you dragged me out here, to ask about my day? I was kinda under the impression that you wanted to talk about something a bit more... serious.”, you replied. And while you loved small talk with Poe was liked how much he really seemed to care about your day, you weren’t one for beating around the bush, at least not where the relationship between the two of you was concerned.
For a while Poe didn’t say a word. He avoided your glance, looking around and picking on a few blades of grass.
“I really like you”, he finally said. While those words made your heart beat just a little quicker, they weren’t exactly what you had been hoping for. You already knew that Poe liked you, you have been friends for quite some time after all, you had been hoping for something that would clarify his feelings just a little more.
You contemplated replying to his statement, especially with the way he seemed to be staring into your soul now, but you decided to simply nod and let him continue.
“I like you as more than a friend. Damn it, I think I am falling in love with you, have been for quite some time in fact. You’re just so kind and funny and beautiful and- Where was I?”
This time you really did want to answer him, but his words have left you speechless. It might not have been the most romantic confession, but it was obvious that Poe was nervous and at least he had finally told you how he felt.
“Anyway”, he continued. “A reliable source told me that you like me as well.”
Before you could ask who it was, there weren’t many people you have told about your crush and you didn’t want to believe that one of them had revealed your secret, Poe shook his head.
“I’m not telling you who told me, it doesn’t matter anyway. What matters is that, well... I’d like us to be more than friends, I’d like us to be official and exclusive, but before I can ask you to be my girlfriend, I need to tell you something important.”
A thousand thoughts rushed through your head, none of them good. Maybe Poe was seriously ill and dying. Maybe he was being send on a dangerous mission he would probably not return from. Maybe he was in some other kind of danger.
“Wh- What is it?”, you finally managed to ask, your voice sounding coarse and scratchy. You took a sip of water your suddenly dry mouth a bit.
“I’ve been wanting to tell you this for quite some time now, but the timing was never right. But I want you to know this before I ask you to commit to me, because I think it’s kinda important. No, scratch that. I know it’s really important, at least to me and-”
You couldn’t take it anymore. Nothing Poe could say could ever be worse than what you’ve been imagining the past couple of minutes and though he seemed really nervous and it wasn’t fair to rush him into this confession, you just had to know.
“Just spit it out, Dameron!”, you demanded.
Poe ruffled through his hair with one hand, making it even messier than it had been before, and you couldn’t resist the urge to push it out of his face. Though you’ve touched his hair a couple of times now, it was always surprising just how incredibly soft it was, despite the standard shampoo everyone in the Resistance used. The same went for his skin, which you noticed as you cupped his cheek in your hand, while your other hand reached out to take Poe’s.
“Tell me”, you urged him. A lot softer than your earlier demand, hoping your gentle touch would help him tell you whatever it was that was weighing him down.
“I am bi. Bisexual I mean. Bi as in bisexual, not bi as in bye.” The first sentence has been said with some confident, but then he just started rambling.
The first emotion you felt was relief. You had expected the worst, but this, though it was news, was not bad new, simply unexpected. Though you still didn’t know what to say. What did people say when someone came out to them?
Poe must have felt that you were unsure about something, because he started pulling on the grass around him again.
And even though you didn’t know what to say, you knew not saying anything was the worse than uncertain rambling. So you reached out to take the hand that was playing with the grass in yours. Softly you stroked across his knuckles, before lifting his hand to your lips and pressing a soft kiss on it.
“Thank you for telling me, Poe. It means a lot that you trust me enough to tell me something so personal.”
He squeezed your hand and finally sent you a signature Poe Dameron smile.
“It’s not like it’s a secret, it just so happens that few people know and I didn’t want you to find out from anyone else.”
You nodded and only then did you notice that you were still holding hands, something that, now that most of the tension has dropped, made you blush.
And even though you really were happy that Poe had come out to you, that he wanted to come out to you in person and that he hadn’t delivered any bad new, part of you felt... weird. The insecure part of you had always questioned why Poe showed any interest in you, both as a friend and a romantic prospect, but now that you knew he wasn’t just interested in women these doubts slowly returned. The pool of people he could have feelings for, if you even dared thinking that he really did have the same feelings you did, had grown, there were so many others one might consider better choices, prettier, funnier, braver, cleverer, more-
“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”, Poe interrupted your thoughts.
Slowly you untangled your hand from his, and even though he resisted for a split second, Poe let you without a word.
“It’s just... I... Why me? You said that you liked me, that you wanted to be in a relationship with me, but why me? I’m just me. I’m not extraordinary, I spent most of my time tinkering with droid parts while you’re the life of every party, I’m not fun like Jessika or sweet like Finn or talented like Rey or-
Out of the corner of your eye you could see Poe reaching for you hand again, but he stopped himself in the last second. Instead he let out a soft “Hey” but you just continued your rambling.
“I cannot give you what a man could, physically. Maybe you’ll regret being with me and then-”
This time he did take your hand and thus made you shut up. Softly he stroked your hand, just like you had done earlier. He rested the other hand on your cheek, which forced you to look away from your shoes, which you had been starting at, and at him.
“It’s true, you cannot give me what a man can. But you cannot give me what another woman can, either. It’s you I want, and no one can compare to you.”
You knew you would say something stupid and cheesy, so you bit down on your bottom lip. An action that made Poe focus on your lips in a way that set off fireworks in you.
“Can I kiss you?”, he asked in a soft voice.
All you could do was nod slightly before he pressed his lips on yours. The kiss was a perfect mix between gentle and demanding, it was sweet and hot and just a bit teasing. That is until your hands found their way into Poe’s hair, which made him groan and deepen the kiss.
When you opened your eyes again you found yourself laying on the ground, with no idea when or how it had gotten that far, which Poe on top of you.
You lifted a finger to your still tingling lips and looked up at Poe with wide eyes.
“That was...”, you started, but interrupted yourself when you realized you had no idea how to finish that thought.
“Still worried I’ll miss out on anything?”, he asked in a teasing voice. Instead of answering you pulled him down to you again until your lips almost met.
“I might have to kiss you some more to make sure I am not missing out on anything”, you replied.
You could feel him smiling into the next kiss. And the next. And the one after that.
When you finally parted again Poe laid down next to your, your hands intertwined and his head resting on your shoulder.
“So... Does that mean you’re officially my girlfriend?”
The smile on your lips widened and you were glad that Poe couldn’t see the colour rising to your cheeks from where he was laying.
“I’d love to, boyfriend.”
He squeezed your hand again, a feeling that was becoming more familiar with each passing second, and a simple gesture that told you how much your answer meant to him, how much you meant to him.
