An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Fandom: Uglies (2024), Uglies Series - Scott Westerfeld
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Shay/Tally Youngblood
Characters: Tally Youngblood, Shay (Uglies)
Additional Tags: Slow Sex, First time with women, First Time, Breast Kissing, Vaginal Fingering, Plot What Plot, Porn with Feelings, cyborg, Super Soldier, past trauma, Mental Health Issues, past self-harm, Past eating disorder, Butch/Butch, bi4bi, bi!Tally, bi!Shay
Summary: In a foreign city, Tally finally manages to get over her fear and to fully be intimate with Shay. Neither of them, with their bodies and brains modified to be weapons, expected it to feel so... loving.
This felt oddly personal. But also so warm. The two of them together, a happy end for them...
Title is a reference to the small green parakeets local to North-Rhine-Westphalia that became kind of a symbol for hope in unlikely ways for the people here.
Pairing: Confident!Reader x Young!Genevieve Padalecki
Word Count: 5,321
Warnings: F/F Smut, Strap on, Penetration with Inanimate Object, Hesitation, Virgin, Experimentation, graphic descriptions of sex.
A/N: Part 2 of my limited series. Read part 1 here. This chapter is a flash back to Genevieve and Reader’s college days.
Your name: submit
Here she comes. You can hear the click-clack of her shoes down the empty hallway. She is so recognizable by her rhythmic pattern, urgent and poised. You count the steps as the echo becomes clearer and nearer, until finally your door bursts open. Laying on your stomach, you face away from the door and watch her reflection in the windowpane.
“HELLO! Y/N! WAKE UP!” Genevieve jumps onto your back and starts thumping on your shoulders left and right.
“I wasn’t asleep.” You rest your chin in the seam of your book, as her weight presses you down into the bed.
“Hmmm?” She places her cheek on the side of your head and reads a fragmented page, “She was feeling ecstasy. Her soul was flooded with happiness.” Genevieve shifts your palm off the edge of the book curiously, “She had never anticipated that the utterance of love would produce such a powerful effect on her.”
Genevieve rolls over next to you, sighing deeply at the ceiling, “Ah, so romantic!”
“Yes, very romantic.” You say before you knowingly read the next line, “But it lasted only an instant.” You shut the book and sat up to put it on top of your dresser.
You turn silently to Genevieve, awaiting her to spill the details of this morning’s subject of conversation. She bites the corner of her lip and gnaws at it as she stares through the book on your night stand. You cross your arms, fighting the urge to break your ritual of allowing her to speak first.
“Those joys were so small that they passed unnoticed, like gold in sand,” you recite, making Genevieve’s eyes shoot up to you with curiosity, “And at bad moments she could see nothing but the pain,” You pause to thoughtfully put your hand on your chin, as though you were trying to remember the rest of the quote, “Nothing but sand; but there were good moments too when she saw nothing but the joy,” You tilt your head at Genevieve, who is dazed by your recital, mouth hanging open and all. Your lips stretch into a knowing smile, “Nothing but gold.”
Genevieve can’t help but reflect your smile and turn it into something much more infectious and beautiful.
“Is that from the book?” She asks.
You nod, “Anna Karenina. It’s my favorite line.” You look out the window where the breeze shakes the leaves on the trees, “It’s a pretty drab book otherwise.”
Genevieve nods understandingly for a moment. She rolls to the edge of the bed and swings her feet over the side.
“What’s up Genny?” you pry as she plays with a loose thread on her knee.
She sucks in a cloud of air and speaks very quickly, “You’re really experienced right? I mean, I know you’ve had sex, at least a couple of times, right? I know we joke about sex a lot, but like ...we don’t actually really talk about it you know? I guess I just wanted to know if you could tell me something-” her arms are shaking by the end and she has to hold herself to hide her goosebumps.
You might have looked at her with amusement, if only you weren’t trying to catch up on all of her words and put them together in your head.
You wanted to ask what she was talking about, but it seemed she was also catching up on her breath.
“Of course.” you decide to affirm in case she was waiting for you approval.
She sighed deeply before continuing, head squarely facing the floor, “I really want to have a great experience the first time I have sex. I don’t want to fool myself into thinking it needs to happen a certain way, but I also don’t want it ending up a disaster.”
“Right.” you say understandingly, with a tinge of skepticism while you await her question.
“Have you had good experiences?” She peeks her eyes up from her lashes.
“Sure, I’ve had some great sex.” You roll your shoulders back as a particularly vivid memory sends a shudder down your spine.
Genevieve perks up and leans forward on the edge of the bedspread, “Is there a secret?”
You whip your head to her in confusion, “A secret?”
She lifts her shoulders and drops them down slowly, “A secret to it... to making it good?”
You raise your eyebrows as you process her question, first in surprise, then with thoughtfulness, then you chuckle knowingly, “Of course there is,” You let her hang on the edge of the seat before tapping her under the chin, “It’s you.”
She looks down at herself and frowns nervously. She seems displeased and confused by your answer.
“It’s good when you make it good.” You explain simply, “It’s good for men no matter what you do...or don’t do. The best way to make sure that it is pleasurable for you is to focus on yourself during sex.”
She sucks her top lip into her mouth and moves it in and out against her bottom lip. She looks up at you and furrows her eyebrows, “But what if I’m not enough? I want to make a really good impression.”
You roll your eyes and place a hand on her shoulder, “You’re not getting it Genny, you will make a really good impression. You are enough. You are more than enough, honey.” Her eyes twinkled, but not with any particular understanding, “Any man you allow to see you, touch you, or spend a minute with you is in for an experience they aren’t ready to handle. You are ambrosia and golden honey.” You wait for her to give any sign of acceptance, but searching her eyes gives you no answer.
“Listen Gen, you’re going to need to explore what makes you feel good. Make yourself feel sexy, focus on the good touches that give you the bad feelings, you know what I mean?” you smirk.
She pinches her fingers between one another inside of her folded palms.
“That’s not very specific.” She finally murmurs.
You let out a chuff of laughter, “You want me to draw you a diagram?”
Her embarrassment tinges you with guilt and you amend, “It’s just not the same if I describe it to you. Not if you don’t already know what I mean.”
She looks up at you hopefully with large brown eyes and asks so innocently, “You love me, right? We’ve known one another for a really long time,” She begins, leaving you to wonder where she is leading, “Would it be weird if you just showed me? So that I’ll know what I’m doing?”
Your eyebrows shoot to the top of your head and you lean your ear closer to her, making sure you heard correctly, “Show you?” you ask incredulously.
Her hair falls in front of her face, perfectly timed to hide her expression. You raise an eyebrow and lean back, impressed she had the gall to ask you something so out of the ordinary - no matter how many words it took her to get it out.
“I do love you Gen,” you think to yourself, My sweet little Genny. “You’re as close to me as I am to myself.” You put a hand on your forehead and exclaim, “I just didn’t think I would be pleasing you like I please myself as well!”
Gen’s head snaps up and she opens her mouth to protest, but silence hangs from her lips. Her face screams soundless embarrassment, so you chuckle and reassure her, “I’m teasing you,” you walk over to the door and make sure the latch is secured.
“I’ll show you everything I can to give you the best experience,” you walk back to the bed and place your hand on her shoulder as you lean behind her to draw the shades closed, “I’ll make sure you know exactly what you’re doing when the time comes.”
Her shoulder is hot where you placed your hand, and when you come face to face her skin is pink all over.
“So to speak.” you punctuate. She shakes the color out of her cheeks and blinks to look up at you with conviction.
“Okay.” She nods confidently.
You glance over her one more time, making sure the self-assurance in her eyes is solid and unshaken.
You place a finger on her cheekbone, tucking your thumb just under her chin. She stares into you with comfort and trust. You make your decision.
“Pay attention to every sensation you feel.” You say as your other finger begins to trail up her arm with a featherlike touch.
“Allow your nerves to pick up on every touch. If your nerves aren’t screaming at you then you aren’t paying enough attention to what it feels like.” You inch your face closer to hers and bring your wandering hand to her collarbone, “You should be swirling in tingles, unable to tell what touch is coming from where.” You brush your lips against her cheeks and see blood rush up to her skin.
“If you’re too distracted by one part, you’ll miss the opportunity to truly get your heart racing.” You whisper next to her ear.
“My heart is racing.” Gen breathlessly responds.
“Maybe,” you pull back from her ear and look down at your hand, now tracing over the curve of her breast, “But when you’re in your head thinking about whether or not I’m going to kiss you...” You catch her looking at your lips and tuck your finger just under the opening of her shirt, “You might miss what else is happening to your body.”
Her eyes drop down to your hand and you see the raised bumps along her chest, “You need to stay out of your head, and stay aware of what your body is feeling. Maximize your pleasure, minimize your thoughts.”
She gasps as you lean down to touch your tongue along the edge of her clavicle.
You come back up and gaze at her with allure, “Everything that comes into contact with your skin will feel different. A finger, a tongue,” You angle your head to the side of her neck and nibble lightly next to her protruding jugular, “and teeth.”
You begin to suckle at her neck, incapable of stoping yourself from tasting her warm and supple skin. You massage your tongue against her muscle and move your mouth to her vein, just to briefly feel how hard her blood is pumping.
You sit back and put your hands just above her hips, “Now there are two speeds you want to accept.” You slide your fingers just under the hem of her shirt on either side and unintentionally tickle her, “You either want devastatingly slow, otherwise known as sensual. Or fast like you are above a burning fire, which we know as hot and heavy.”
She sucks in her breath as you tug up on her shirt. You watch her expression and see discomfort cross her face. You stop halfway up her midriff and slide your hands behind her back, pulling her closer to you and moving your hands up and down her back, beneath her shirt. She holds her breath, so you bring your face to hers and place a feathery kiss on her lips. You feel her muscles loosen their intensity, but it isn’t until you slide your tongue in her mouth that she releases her lungs.
She seems to be drawn into you, like metal slivers to a swinging magnet. She boldly slips her hands under your own shirt and begins roaming your body beneath the clothing. In her moment of losing control she doesn’t notice you slip her shirt off of her, and likewise her hungry hands end up pushing your shirt practically all the way off. Between breaths you take the opportunity to rid of your shirt completely.
Her tongue roams your mouth and grazes along the edge of your teeth, presses into your tongue, and swirls like a silky whip between your lips. Whether or not she knows it, her fingernails press into your skin and drag down your sides with a firm pressure. You are intoxicated by one another’s ecstasy and you suck hard on her upper lip as she breaths heavily on you.
Her breath is haphazard, uneven. You use your thumb to rub on her earlobe while your other hand presses into her back, making sure she is close into you. She writhes into you as you kiss down her neck and begin to suck hard on the fleshy part of one of her breasts. Her eyes are closed in a dream state until you pinch the top layer of the skin on her bulging chest between your teeth.
Gen sharply inhales a breath and thrusts forward into your face, fluttering her eyes open. She looks at your provocative gaze and leans back onto her palms, looking you over.
“Wow.” she clamors.
“That’s what happens when you lose yourself-” you begin to explain, but her eyes tell you her intention was something different.
“You are...so sexy...” she says, abashed.
You are taken aback for a moment, but then smile alluringly, “Thank you Genny, you are-”
Again, she interrupts with disappointment, “So drab.” She looks down at herself, skeptical of her choice in underwear. “I’m wearing a Grandma bra or something.” She touts.
“You are more than appetizing, Genny. We’re wearing practically the same thing.” you attempt to ease her ridiculous worry.
“Yeah, you’re like a size D, any guy would love to play with your tits whether you were wearing a tarp or lace.” She proclaims in horror.
“Genevieve, guys are thrilled you let them see your breasts, they don’t care what they look like. Honestly. Any guy who shames you for something out of your control is garbage and doesn’t have the joy of touching you. Inside or out.” You wink.
She appears to ponder your message, but still seems self-conscious.
“You are as sexy as you feel. It exudes from within you.” You sigh and grab her delicate hands, teaching her the most important lesson of seduction.
Genevieve doesn’t seem entirely convinced, but she turns to face you with that deadly doe-like stare, “I think we should try again tonight. I want to get the right lingerie..”
“Gen-” you start to protest and she cuts you off sharply, “It’ll make me feel sexy! I won’t be in my head as much!” She declares with a fist into the mattress.
“Besides... you are just so feminine and everything I wish I could...” Gen trails off enviously eyeing your body, “I just... you’re so much more womanly than I am.”
“Genevieve!” you object and screw up your face at her; prepared to complain about comparing herself to others, and argue that besides all of that she is the perfect image of a woman - delicate, soft in all of the right places, just curvy enough without being provocative- but her face was set and you knew her decision was made.
You sigh and drop your shoulders, leaning back onto your elbows, “Alright. I’ll be ready when you are.”
She flashes a victorious smile and grabs her shirt, pulling it over her head excitedly.
“Great! I’ll see you tonight!” She beams and leans down to throw a quick hug around your neck.
She hops off to the door and you watch her as she goes, bouncing in all the right places.
“Oh girl.” you sigh after she closes the door behind her
“Y/N?” You hear a voice peer out from behind your door and the door clicks closed again.
“I’m ready now.” Genevieve’s voice is silky and low, turning your head in her direction.
She wore a wrap dress which she untied and allowed to slide off of her slight shoulders.
You smile at her entire aura, filled with satisfaction and the energy of a femme fatale. She is prepared in a strapless lace bustier, complete with garter belt and stockings.
“Great,” One of your eyebrows can’t help but raise along with your tilted smile, “I’ve prepared something as well.” you say as you crouch down to the end of the bed and pull out a box of specialties for secret or unexpected occasions.
You lift out a particularly sturdy contraption of leather straps. Genevieve is puzzled but mostly surprised at it’s interwoven appearance.
“It’ll help you to think of me as less feminine.” you say appeasingly.
You latch it around your hips and down the top of your legs, and bow down once more to select a non-threatening dildo to emulate a comfortably average sized penis.
Genevieve’s face is pulled back in surprise, tinged with a sense of awe. She accents with a gulp, dipping her head in a half-nod.
“Come here.” You signal Genevieve toward the bed.
You allow her to slide up onto the bed, crawling next to her, placing a knee on either side of her legs.
Her body seemed rigid in some way, like it wanted to exude sex appeal, but it was too planned and concentrated.
“I want you to know how to please yourself, not please someone else.” you reiterate to Gen, but assure her, “If you’re having a great time, it will make anybody else involved so much more satisfied.”
“If you want to fulfill your partner, get yours first.” You take her hand and select a finger amongst them, “But to better understand what effect you have on someone else, you should have it done to you at some point.”
She twists her face up at you, “What do you mean?”
You place the selected finger to your lips and explain, “You don’t have a dick for me to show you, but you can always practice your technique on a couple of fingers.” you press your lips tightly over her finger and suck on it mercilessly while swirling your tongue around the finger in circles, up and down. You graze your teeth very gently up from the bottom knuckle to the tip of the finger.
As your suction puckers off the top you place a finger to her shapely lips, “Let’s see what you’ve got.” you click your tongue.
She initially stares into your eyes as she takes your finger deeper into her mouth, attempting to swirl and massage your finger as you did to her own. She daringly takes a second finger alongside your first, closing her eyes with a serene calmness to her face.
Her suckle makes you tingle in the pit of your stomach and it runs up your spine as you utter, “Be sure to make it really wet.”
She nods up and down with a rhythm as she holds your palm in both of her hands. She lubricates your fingers as directed and smacks her lips just above them as she pulls them out.
You hold your arm back and use the opposite hand to sturdy yourself as you crawl to her thighs. You place your free hand on her hip, preparing her for your most sensitive lesson, “I can tell you are a little bit scared,” you start.
“No, I’m not!” Genevieve argues, but you tug on the side of her panties, looking at her delicate pussy knowingly, “Well, then you’re not very aroused. Either way, in your ...situation... you need a little bit of lubrication,” you say as you draw your hand and flash the glistening fingers.
“I’ll ease you into it so that you aren’t too shocked or..” you take one of your fingers and touch the outer lip of her vagina. She squirms at your contact, but remains determined to stay patient and ready for her lesson.
“Don’t forget to breath.” you remind her just before you push one finger into her, sliding gracefully past her lips and into her soft bumpy interior. You take a moment to enjoy the firm pressure of her walls against your finger, and slither your finger against one bump in particular. Genevieve catches her breath and you are intoxicated by the combination of her movements, her sounds, and the silky smooth interior of her pussy.
Without warning you plummet the second finger inside of her, and although it pushes back against you tightly you get the desired reaction. She writhes in your hand, moving her hips side to side, which presses her thighs into your arm. You feel as though she was going to consume your whole body.
“You okay?” You ask tenderly, and just as quietly and sweetly she whispers to you, “Yes.”
You wiggle your fingers to make sure there is enough freedom for her to remain comfortable when you penetrate her with the strap-on. For good measure you give her inner wall a couple of strokes, looking for the best angle of her enjoyment.
No matter where you move she vibrates with sensitivity, so you take the opportunity to press your thumb onto her clitoris. A ridge is slowly forming beneath your thumb as she generates her own lubrication plentiful.
You withdraw your fingertips and think you catch an almost imperceptible sigh from Genevieve. You unhook her garters and pinch the sides of her panties, pulling them down from side to side. She wiggles her butt to assist your removal until you can toss them to the side of the bed.
You crawl up along her body, one limb at a time until you are face to face with her again.
“You good?” You check in with Gen.
“I’m good.” she reciprocates.
You position your faux-cock between her thighs and use your thumb to guide it to the right place. Gen closes her eyes in anticipation, but when you rake the tip against her, she pinches her brows together. Carefully, you proceed to push the tip inside of her but she winces again.
You sit back on your heels and watch her open her eyes in surprise.
“What’s wrong?” She asks expectantly.
You give her a nefarious smile and place your hands on either of her thighs, pressing into them to keep them from closing together. She doesn’t ask any further, but watches as you lean your head down to her hips. You inhale her scent, like mangoes and honey - as strange as it was.
You gathered some saliva in your mouth before extending your tongue between her lips, gliding from her opening to the plump clitoris at the top.
Finally, she released a moan she seemed to have held in up to this point. It was shaky and guttural, a primal noise. You tingle with joy, and give her another lick for good measure.
You come back up to her and punctuate, “The more aroused you are, the easier it all moves inside of you, but in this case to make due with what we have I can add a little bit of moisture for you. Hopefully, it’s size is just enough that you are extended properly.”
She is so drunk on sensation that she isn’t paying much attention to your words. You go on and insert the tip inside of her, making her back arch up to you. Although she seems calm and collected, you notice a tremble to her shoulders. Before you continue on into her, you place a hand under her neck, and another on her waist.
“Am I scaring you?” you ask gingerly, squeezing her waist and circling a finger on her neck, “Open your eyes Genny.” you coo at her.
She opens her eyes and they are slightly red and damp, “I’m okay, really.” she says with sincerity.
You weren’t sure how to approach the situation, looking into her eyes. But suddenly you tighten your grip on her and roll over so that she is on top of you.
“Listen to me,” you guide her as she looks into your eyes with hope and tenderness.
“I want you to sit up on my thighs, just below the cock.” you push her up to sit on you, as she uses her arms for leverage against your chest.
She adjusts on top of you as you instructed and awaits her next steps. You take her hands and interlace them in yours, allowing her to put pressure into your palms to balance.
“This is the best position for you to be in total control. It will keep you feeling confident, in charge of the situation, and capable of finding the most pleasurable angle and speed for yourself.” You assure Genevieve.
She nods but doesn’t move.
“You’re going to hover above the penis, then slide down at your own pace. Take as much of it as you can handle at a time. You can put your hands on his hips to keep them from thrusting up impatiently. Press down into your hands and relieve as much of your weight in your hips as you can take.” You watch her follow your words with her movements.
“It will not feel immediately enjoyable, just get all the way down when you can, and then take a moment to pause and breath.” you instruct.
You watch as she lowers herself onto you inch by inch, a look of concentration and concern twisted on her face. By the time she sits all the way down on you, her face is filled with relief.
She starts lifting herself up and down on the artificial member and you place your hands on her hips, “Not like that,” you use your thumbs to guide her, pressing into her hip bones so that she gyrates at an angle, “It’s more front to back than it is up and down.”
She gulps as she feels the significant difference in the effect, “Uh-huh.” she agrees, and you continue, “The in-out motion doesn’t give you much affection. A sweeping movement will give you a rubbing sensation, both inside, and if you’re lucky on your clit as well.”
She follows the track of your fingertips, but eventually you place your hands behind your head. She looks at you as though somebody made the wrong move, so you have to explain to her, “You have to play around on your own. Every woman is made differently.” You smile up at Genevieve.
“Move at different angles, swing your hips a few directions.” You nod and watch her experiment on top of you.
Her breasts heave in her bustier, which has been sliding down centimeter by centimeter over the last hour. The tops of her nipples are showing, and they tease you with their appearance and disappearance. Gen pushes up and down on top of you, and her hair falls in front of her face in locks of black shadows across her face.
“Come here a moment.” You wave her toward you, and she obediently leans into you. You reach around her to unhook her bodice, one hook after another. She doesn’t say anything, but when you unlatch the final hook she lifts herself back up as you toss aside the bustier.
“As beautiful and sexy as lingerie is, don’t let it restrict you from your freedom. You are gorgeous. Use your flexibility to explore and lose all of those thoughts that ground you.” you say this as you sweep your hand up her stomach, between her breasts, and over top of her chest.
“Focus on the feelings.” You remind her of her former lessons earlier in the day, and she closes her eyes to remove visual distractions.
You continue sweeping all around her body, roaming from her thighs to her ribcage, just under the curve of her breast. You lightly touch the full part of the bottom of her breast, ignoring her caramel-pink nipples. You swoop up the side of her breast to the top slope of it’s natural curve. You slowly encircle closer and closer to her nipples, without ever actually coming into contact with them. You dive your hand down between her breasts and down her navel.
“Suspense is the driver of arousal. It will only heighten until you can’t take it any more.” You say as her chest heaves heavier and quicker with deep breaths. A few more laps around her body and she couldn’t take the lack of touch where she needed it most and grabbed her own nipples. She pinched them, pulled lightly, and encircled with her thumb to her body’s content.
While she was focusing on one of her hot spots, you placed a palm on her belly and gently pushed her back, “Lean back some, and grasp my legs behind you for support if you need. In this position you can both watch you being entered while also seeing your full body, and those breathtaking breasts.”
Genevieve’s face was flushed, although most likely not from embarrassment but from blood rushing all over her body. She was working hard, and she looked tired and hot and very aroused.
When she leaned back just enough you added, “One more benefit,” as you placed your hand on the innermost part of her hip, “Either one of you can please you externally as well this way.”
You place your available thumb on her clitoris, plump and red with blood flow. Gen hisses her delight and quickens her pace of hip rotations. You pause for a moment to lick your thumb generously and she growls her displeasure.
You smirk tauntingly, but place your thumb back on her bundle of nerves. Without needing to do much circling of your thumb, she aggressively gyrates around your hand to stimulate herself with your hand.
“Try doing it all yourself sweetheart.” you coax by grabbing her hands and placing one on her breast, while guiding the other to her clit.
She hungrily touches herself while you take the opportunity to support her back with your hands, and compensating her distraction by coming up to meet her with thrusts of your own. It’s difficult with her weight pressing you down into the bed, but watching her lose herself in her pleasure trance gives you a euphoria of your own. You are hypnotized by her essence, being pulled into her and out of her without much control of your own body.
Her hair falls all over her face, her chest, her shoulders, and is tousled all over the top of her head. Her body isn’t perfectly rhythmic, but it is determined and turned on, and you are high off of her every move.
“Yes baby,” you say breathlessly.
“Oh, Y/N,” she gasps back at you in a blaming tone.
You wrap your hands around the side of her to grip her petite and perfectly round ass. You dig your nails into her skin and grab at her greedily. You place one hand high on her back and pull her down to you so that you could place your mouth on her perky, erect nipples. As soon as your lips touch her puckered skin she began convulsing from her legs up to through her arms.
She growled a very unsteady, “Ohh,” followed by an exasperated, “Y/N!”.
Her thighs clench around your hips and her knees dig into your waist as she throws her head back and reaches for your legs to keep herself from falling back entirely. She digs her nails into the sides of your knees, and suddenly she folds herself forward onto your stomach.
Genevieve is quiet for a moment and huddled into a folded mess around you.
“If there is any chance he hadn’t cum before, the sight of your heavenly orgasm would make him explode right then.” you say somewhere between snarky and severely impressed.
“Are you sure?” she questions between breaths against your ribcage.
“You were irresistible.” you assure Gen.
“Lose control to your senses and you will have a great time.” you begin to pat the top of Genevieve’s head as she removes herself from your hips and cuddles up next to you, placing her head on your shoulder.
You know you have to take off your dildo and clean the mess she’s made of you, but she crosses her arm over you and grabs for your free hand.
She laces her fingers through yours and sleepily whispers, “I just need little a nap.”
You take a breath of cold air in as the vent above beings to blow around the room. You kiss the side of her hair fondly and whisper back, “Of course, Genny.”
I've always had this headcanon where Maruis and Cosette are each other's first love, and it's as sickening cute as it is in the book and everyone thinks they'll be together forever. Then they both realize they're bi and not actually in love anymore (two separate discoveries). They break up, stay BFFs and fall in love with other people. (namely Courf and Ep)
Hey, this speaks to me on a veeeery personal level, friend. This post will be long and have feelings and stuff.
June.
Cosette had been thinking about things for months. Unpleasant things, things that made her mood change and her mouth curve downwards in an uncharacteristic mope.
She could deny and try to pretend for as long as she wanted. But when it really came down to the quiet moments like these, she knew in her heart that her relationship with Marius had run its course. They felt much more like friends than lovers, more like roommates than cohabiting partners.
The worst thing about it was that everybody perceived them as perfect. She’d lost count at the amount of times somebody had aww’d in their general direction, described them as goals or told them they were perfect for each other.
But they weren’t, and it hurt- but Cosette was sick of pretending. She was also sick of fantasising about dates with other, pretend people.
It was an awful call of judgement, to make such a sudden decision to break things off over a petty squabble over dinner. But it wasn’t the little thing that broke her, it was the collection of little things that became a mountain of one big unspoken thing. She was unhappy, and they had stopped bringing out the best in each other a long time ago.
There was crying and frustrated arguments and desperate attempts for each of the other to understand what they were saying, but by 9:00PM that night, they were done.
Marius & Cosette the perfect couple were no more.
Marius and Cosette the individuals were just beginning.
When Marius came to Courfeyrac’s door, eyes red and slightly swollen, an overnight bag clutched tightly in his arms and a broken look upon his face, Courfeyrac didn’t need to ask him what had happened. Instead, like any good friend, he offered him a place on his couch and a kind ear to ramble to.
“I’m never going to find anybody else as perfect as her.” He said in between sobs. Courfeyrac’s heart broke for him, and he lent a comforting touch to Marius’ shoulder.
“Marius,” Courfeyrac said with his patented ‘everything will be okay’ smile. “You’re perfect, you have nothing to worry about. You’ll find your perfect match.”
As Marius moved onto another insecurity, Courfeyrac’s smile faded only slightly.
He thought sadly how unfortunate it was, that Marius would never know those words were not of empty comfort from a friend who just wanted to make their other friend happy. Instead they were words spoken genuinely, from a man who’d been hiding an unrequited crush for his dear friend.
July.
The last month had been incredibly difficult for Cosette. People always expected the person who initiated the break up to be more okay than the breakee, but for Cosette it was as though she’d lost a large part of herself.
It had taken almost all of her energy and self restraint to not reach out to Marius and break their mutual agreement of no contact. It was hard to adjust to the change. She had invested almost every day for the past 5 years into him, into them. To suddenly not have Marius to talk to was the biggest challenge of them all. Sometimes she just wanted to reach out to him, and tell him about the silly dog she’d seen on the street. Only to pause and remember, she had no right to do that anymore.
White noise was all that was left, and all she was owed.
It had been a month now, and it wasn’t as hard anymore. There were nights where it would get lonely, but ultimately she didn’t regret her decision, and she found herself quite enjoying her time alone.
She had finally decided it was time to come out of her homebody cocoon she’d built for herself by taking a trip to the nearest thrift shop for more knitting supplies. She was absentmindedly wasting time rifling through old vinyl records when her attention was caught.
“Eponine?” She said before thinking, and Eponine turned around to face, clearly she had not intended to see anybody she knew here.
“Oh, hey.” she replied, walking over to her.
“I haven’t seen you around in ages.” Cosette said, filling in the awkward silence. “You stopped going to meetings.”
Eponine rubbed the back of her head with a sheepish look. “Yeah, I um. I was busy. It was never on when I could go.”
The truth of the matter was that it was getting far too painful for Eponine to keep coming back and seeing Marius and Cosette so perfectly in love. She admittingly didn’t know why it had bothered her so much- she’d gotten over her crush on Marius a long time ago. But for some reason seeing them both together brought out something incredibly ugly in her. An untameable monster of petty envy and jealousy.
Cosette nodded. “I actually haven’t been lately either.” she admitted. It had been precisely a month since she’d last attended. She shot Eponine a grin. “Poor Musichetta must be sick of being stuck to deal with all those boys alone.”
Eponine laughed at this, a sound Cosette was fond to hear more of. She found herself grinning from ear to ear- the first time another person had made her genuinely smile in a month.
“So, how’s Marius?” Eponine asked politely, and Cosette felt herself outwardly flinch. This was the conversation she had been dreading to have. A conversation that would possibly follow her for months on end, considering the amount of people they’d woved their lives into over the course of their relationship.
“We’ve actually broken up.” Cosette said looking down at the old unamed vinyl in her hands. The uneasiness in her stomach swelling slightly.
“Oh,” Eponine said sounding genuinely shocked. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Cosette said, forcing herself to look at Eponine’s eyes- her wonderfully gorgeous eyes- and smile despite the overpowering feeling of wanting to flee and hide in her bedroom for another month. “It’s for the better.”
They continued to talk, even after making their small amount of purchases and leaving the thrift shop, when they rounded the corner of the street where they needed to go their separate ways, neither of them seemed enthused to be leaving the others presence.
“You know,” Eponine said, a little uncertainly. “Enjolras still sends me those meeting invites like clockwork. There’s one on tonight if you wanted to go.”
Cosette thought about seeing Marius again, in a room with their mutual friends. She couldn’t do it. Not yet anyway.
Eponine seemed to know the answer before Cosette had a chance to think of an excuse. “Or if you’d prefer, I’ve got a cheap bottle of wine and a boxset of trashy TV at my apartment.”
Cosette smiled at Eponine. “I’d like that a lot.” She replied.
August.
Marius hated moving. With the exception of the time he moved in with Cosette, every time he had moved his life had been a personal tragedy. He had been crashing on Courfeyrac’s couch for a month now, and regrettably it was time he moved on.
Especially because he felt that he had crossed an unspoken boundary, and cursed his hopeless romantic heart, for making him fall so quickly and so easily in love.
“You’re going?” Courfeyrac asked when he broke the news. “But why?”
“I just... Think it’s time I stop bothering you.”
“You’re not bothering me!” Courfeyrac said letting out a sort of desperate sounding laugh. “I told you that you can stay as long as you want and I meant it.”
“It’s not-” Marius sighed, he didn’t want to explain it to Courfeyrac whilst he was still under his roof.
“Did I do something?” Courfeyrac asked uncertainly. Marius looked at him sadly. Took in his overgrown and luscious hair, the cute freckles clustered at the end of his nose and the pout that was threatening to form on his face.
“You haven’t done anything.” Marius replied dejectedly. “I just- I think I have feelings for you and I don’t want to make things weird by staying here. I need our friendship too much for that.”
When Marius finally found the courage to look up at his soon to be ex-roommate.
“Wait- so you’re not straight?” Courfeyrac asked.
“I- I don’t think so? I like you, so-”
“You’re not straight and you like me?!” Courfeyrac asked, his voice becoming high pitched.
“Yes?”
Courfeyrac was laughing in relief as Marius frowned at him. This was a conversation he would rather be having when he’d secured another place to stay and wouldn’t have to be subjected to an awkward night in his company.
“Marius?” Courfeyrac said after a while. “You’re more than welcome to stay here with me, as long as you are comfortable with the fact, that I have feelings for you too.”
“Then why were you laughing?” Marius asked with relief.
“Because Bossuet owes me 20 euros.”
September.
It was a rare day of warmth and sunniness- Courfeyrac’s favourite weather, and a well needed break from the pre-Autumn chill. Marius couldn’t help the smile he found upon his face as the took what was supposed to be a leisurely stroll through the park. Nothing was ever leisurely with Courfeyrac though, he was getting excited at every little thing and taking Marius by the hand and dragging him over to join him in excitement.
Marius couldn’t even pretend to be annoyed by this. This last month had been the happiest he had been in a long time. He had never felt more like himself in Courfeyrac’s company.
“Marius!” A voice called out to him, he turned to see for the first time since their breakup, Cosette, waving to him from a picnic blanket. Eponine was sat comfortably beside her in sunglasses and shorts.
He approached her whilst Courfeyrac busied himself at the ice cream stand, and was surprised and oddly glad to find that it didn’t hurt to see her happy, and from the way she was leaning against Eponine, with somebody else.
“Hi.” He said, and as awkward and uncomfortable as it was, it was also liberating.
“Hi.” She said back. Eponine muttered an excuse about ice cream, and left to join Courfeyrac on the other end of the park.
The small talk that followed was short and to the point. By the time Courfeyrac and Eponine had made their way back over, Marius and Cosette were laughing with each other.
When it was time for Marius and Courfeyrac to depart, Cosette gave Marius a tight hug.
“I’m glad you’re happy.” Marius said to her, and meant it.
THURSDAY THROUGH MONDAY PAPER DOLLS WILL BE FREE FOR EVERYONE TO DOWNLOAD ON AMAZON KINDLE!
Due to Amazon rules @blackindiaink and I are only allowed ONE FREE GIVEAWAY PERIOD every three months. Since we aren’t sure how fast we’ll be in putting up the next book, and since momentum is key, we have decided to have our free event for book one take place IN THE NEXT FIVE DAYS!
Just in general, we already marked the book at the cheapest price we could mark it at while still keeping it on Amazon (where free and interested readers can find it). It’s a $0.99 book with 484 pages, lots of drama, a fair dose of sex, and a very sappy and romantic ending (there is a snazzy paperback option now though for anyone who would like to own, that will sadly not be free *cries*).
If you’re interested at all in reading the book, you may want to just download it during the free event just so you have it (not that a dollar isn’t hard for anyone to scrape up, I know you’re all rollin’ in the dirty pennies like me). This way you will have it for free if you ever do decide to read it!
So far the book is being read A LOT. I could show you graphs but that’s super lame. *pouts*
I do want to clarify that PAPER DOLLS is definitely A ROMANCE.
There is drama and angst and all that good stuff BUT the book IS about a romance between two young women.
Thanks for putting up with us! If you do decide to read PLEASE leave reviews and ratings, either on Amazon or Goodreads! We would LOVE to know what you think!
