#bibarian

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Jaskier and Geralt were turned back into children.

Surprising a lot of people, Geralt is the sweet, adorable child. Sure, he's shy, but he just wants to help everyone.

On the other hand, Jaskier is a menace.

(Also, bonus points if kidGeralt trails around kidJaskier like a lost puppy)

"I want one! I want one! I want one!" "Jaskier you can not have a sword!" "I'll cry! I'll cry SO loud!" "Jaskier, you don't have to-" Eskel pulls down on his face in stress as Jaskier inhales and then begins SCREAMING. Eskel had mistakenly offered to watch Jaskier after he and Geralt were turned into children by a spell. He thought it'd be easy. Jaskier was nice! Sweet! Singy! But apparently when he was younger, he was demanding, hyper, and screamy. Eskel is able to hold out until Jaskier tries to reach into a lit fire. Only then does Eskel realize he needs backup and scrambles to find Lambert. "Do you wanna skip kids for a bit?" "Are you kidding? All Geralt does is sit there and look like that." Lambert points to a small Witcher, with big pleading eyes, who looks like he's grieving. "But I need help with Jaskier." "How hard is it to keep a kid happy?" "He wanted to touch fire!" "And? It'd be a nice learning experience!" "You're fucked in the head." "Oh shit-" "What?" "..You made me lose him! GERAAALT! GERALT, WHERE ARE YOU!?" It took them hours of searching to find both children in an oft-forgotten storage room. Geralt was simply entranced by the bolder boy, and was now glued to his side. Jaskier seemed equally ecstatic for a friend. Jaskier was much calmer, always jabbering on to Geralt. Geralt seemed much happier, holding hands and hugging Jaskier. "Geralt said he wants a snack." "In just a minute, screechy. I gotta finish this first." Lambert says, glaring at a vial. "Geralt is hungry." "I know." "If you don't get him a snack, I'll scream." "Oh come the fuck on-" "SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

[geraskierfanficprompts]

I've seen fics where people try to woo Jaskier, and the bard is very polite about it.

Where are my fics where Jaskier, seeing that this person just wants to use him, is a *nightmare*?

Flowers? Fed to a goat. Romantic boat ride? Shoves love interest over the edge. Gods forbid anyone tries to use music or poetry to woo Jaskier. He channels his inner Professor Pankratz and RIPS them apart.

Geralt is jealous, but he's also kind of impressed with the endurance of the courters.

Geralt had been very jealous of the man at first. Until Jaskier had maced him in front of a large crowd while screaming "Mad pervert!" Geralt wasn't so jealous of him after that. He had been trailing Jaskier for weeks now, trying his best to "woo" him. Geralt knew better. He could smell the lust and see the lack of affection in his eyes. Overhearing him brag about wanting to pump and dump the bard also helped. And Geralt was... Admittedly a little surprised that Jaskier believed him so readily when Geralt told him. But he knew he shouldn't have been. After all these years together, why wouldn't Jaskier trust Geralt? Especially with something as important as a potential lover. Jaskier had poured salt into his drink, stepped on his toes, tripped him into a river, shoved him out of a moving carriage, threw his poetry into a fire in front of him, slapped his hands away, and regifted a bouquet of flowers to an entirely different random person on the street. And yet still he man remained. Just for the chance of fucking Jaskier? Geralt hates that he kinda gets it.