I wanted to try writing a script with time constraints and I think the product isn't half bad
AFTER 1 MINUTE:
AFTER 10 MINUTES:
ignore that the word shore is red
AND AFTER ONE HOUR, THE FINISHED PRODUCT (is under the cut):
Some Queer Pirates in: Hungry Halloween Adventure
[A SHIP sails across the open ocean. It has been on the water for far too long and the crew is hungry and sick. They spot LAND.]
CREWMATEY: Yarr, there be land, lubbers!!
[Camera pans to two sad gay pirates in each other’s embrace. They look to where CREWMATEY is pointing and brighten up]
[The SHIP sails toward the shore, but it stops before it can reach the ISLAND. A large green VINE-LIKE TENTACLE bursts through the palm trees and reaches for the SHIP.]
CAP’N: Looks like this land’s puttin’ up a fight, lads. Give that big green heathen your all, Pappy needs solid land for his tai chi!
[The CREW fights the VINETACLE. They swing swords and light bombs. One PIRATE gets grabbed by the VINETACLE and is waved around. A snap is heard and the PIRATE stops struggling. The VINETACLE freezes for a moment, then speeds back to land.]
CAP’N: YARRRR! WHERE DOES THAT FOUL BEAST THINK IT’S TAKING PETER?!
[On the shore, EMERGENCY MEDICAL PERSONNEL rush to the unresponsive PETER. The VINETACLE lets go and allows the EMTS to do their work.]
CAP’N: Huh. ? ? ?!?!???!?!?!!? NO TIME TO QUESTION IT, LADS, WE MUST PUSH ON!
[The SHIP sails up to the shore and drops anchor. CREW disboards and rushes onto the land. A large PUMPKIN makes its way through the trees, pushing them aside with large VINETACLES.]
CAP’N: YAR, THE FIGHT’S NOT OVER!
[CAP’N points his cutlass at PUMPKIN.]
PUMPKIN: [corporate gay voice] Woah, woah, fun’s over, buddies. We’ve gotta take care of your friend over there. We don’t want a lawsuit on our hands, now, do we?
[CREW is fucking confused.]
PUMPKIN: Listen, I loved your commitment to the scene! [PUMPKIN gestures with his VINETACLES] We feed off of your energy and it makes the Halloween Island experience better for everyone! But we really nee-
CAP’N: Wait just a moment there, Gourdo. What do you mean, –
[PUMPKIN interrupts CAP’N this time.]
PUMPKIN: Are you calling me fat :(
CAP’N: What? No, no. Yer a gourd, right? Bein’ a pumpkin n’ all? It’s just a little nickname, I meant nothin’ mean by it.
PUMPKIN: Ok :(
CREWMATE: [whispering] Good save, Cap’n
CAP’N: [whispering] Thank you, thank you. [normal voice] What do you mean, Halloween Island?
PUMPKIN: You’ve heard of Easter Island, right?
CAP’N: Yeah?
PUMPKIN: Halloween Island.
CAP’N: That isn’t much of an explanation.
[EMTS wave down PUMPKIN]
PUMPKIN: I’m being called excuse me
[PUMPKIN rushes off. CAP’N crosses his arms]
CAP’N: Think this place is on Pirate Yelp?
CREWMATEY: Let me check my Pirate Phone.
CREWMATE: If it is, we should give it one Pirate Star! [He seems far too proud of this joke]
[CAP’N and CREWMATEY look at CREWMATE]
CREWMATEY: What is that?
CAP’N: You can’t just put the word “pirate” in front of something and expect it to make sense, lad.
[CREWMATE hangs his head dejectedly]
[Meanwhile, EMTS tell PUMPKIN that PETER is dead.]
PUMPKIN: Oh dear Gourd. They are so going to rate us one Pirate Star on Pirate Yelp.
[FADE TO BLACK]
[FADE TO EVERYONE DOING TAI CHI ON THE BEACH AS CREDITS ROLL. PETER’S CORPSE LIES LIMP ON THE GROUND]
Life imitates art, or art imitates life? This Crown Prince pumpkin (Cucurbita pepo) certainly bears a striking resemblance to the Russian samovar (device for heating and brewing tea). The Crown Prince pumpkin is considered one of the finest pumpkins for sweet and savoury dishes. Pumpkins are a nutrient dense food that contains high concentrations of vitamin A, vitamin E, vitamin C, and vitamin K as well as dietary fibre, folate, potassium, and iron. The vitamins are associated with reduced cancer risks, and improved eye and skin health. Iron and folate help strengthen the immune system while potassium lowers blood pressure. Healthy recipes cooked with fresh or canned pumpkin flesh will help you add these nutritional benefits to your diet. Beware of the autumn “treats” that are really “tricks” - there are lots of junk foods that have pumpkin in the name but contain only artificial spice flavouring instead of real pumpkin!
