It’s all fun and games until you have a giant fixing spider in your room. I know it’s just a huntsman and they’re not dangerous, but that doesn’t mean I want one on my wall near my bed. It’s like 10:30 pm and I want to go to sleep but now I can’t. What if it crawls on me or something??? It’s like the size of my hand.
I haven't posted anything written in a long time - so here's a fragment I wrote recently, when I was wondering what a mandatory visit to introduce the chosen one to the family could look like.
Of course, Sozo has no clue what's going on. Helob not really either.
(Their relationship is at the stage of "they like each other very much, but they have not confessed their love and they consider themselves only very close friends".)
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Meanwhile, Helob and Sozo walked through the dark, damp corridors. Sozo looked around in awe. "It's darker and more atmospheric here than Sozo remembered."
"The domain is getting wild, your royal highness," the spider pointed. "Shamura's former vessels try to keep things in order, but... they don't always succeed. Certain pieces of Silk Cradle are already overrun by beasts - and an ever-present famine."
"Then maybe we didn't take enough gifts?" Sozo remarked. "King said he could order the mushroom subjects to go with them, no pity for them at all..."
"Most spiders will not even touch mushroom people. Distrustful. Helob resistant to poisons, but not every spider has that, no, no... Mushroom subjects, on the other hand, presumably poisonous. King Sozo wants to walk on his own two feet? Lamb is unlikely to followed their..."
"Or can I stay like this? You are a very comfortable litter, my love..." murmured Sozo, stroking the spider's fur. Helob smiled slightly. "Helob can manage to carry the king and the preys all the way home. Not a problem."
They walked for quite a long time. At some point they both sensed that they were being watched - and the number of watchers grew. Several times, female spider hung on ropes at the eye level of King Sozo and watched him with interest. They were generally tiny, smaller even than the mushroom subjects. He waved at them cheerfully, and they scurried away. "He pays no attention to the children," chuckled Helob, seeing this. "And he doesn't maintain eye contact. They will take advantage of this to stab. The venom won't harm the king, but it will still hurt."
"Sure. Helob, do you have a lot of this family? Because you've lived a while, so I assume..."
"Helob himself is not sure. One that he knows for sure comes from his sisters has a few hundred. There are still potential descendants from the brothers' line, but that's always harder to trace. I don't keep in touch with everyone, no, no, not with everyone. With some it's not worth it. Sheela, he told about, is from the brother's line. But she's more than a distant cousin. She is, besides king Sozo, Helob's only friend, yes..."
"I hope just a friend...," murmured Sozo, and Helob trembled slightly at these words. Sozo stroked his forehead. "Sozo wouldn't want her to eat his friend. He would then have to show disrespect to the spiders' habits and kill her." Helob didn't know why, but he smiled broadly at these words. And with such a broad smile he made the rest of the way. They reached the large chamber, having already had a large herd on their backs. Some of the spiders separated, seeing where they were going - they were probably from outside the family. The rest, however, were waiting. They could feel the excitement.
Helob took Sozo, who giggled, off his back and set him on the ground, then reached for the wooden structure. He didn't manage to call out when several spiders emerged from the darkness toward them.
"Helob..." They heard the hiss of a large spider female. She had hairy legs and a large purple abdomen covered in fur, and her black eyes squinted slightly. She definitely looked like a relative of Helob. Accompanying her were four smaller females and several males, stopped just behind her. She tilted her head. "We haven't seen each other in a long time... Thank you for the previous gift."
"She will forgive that it was modest. Today Helob has more. Still not much, yes, yes, but just in time for everyone after a bite..."
Female spider was clearly expecting, so Helob took three of the five cocoons and handed them to her. She tousled each one before sending it on, then nodded satisfied. And then she reached out a hand ending in three sharp claws and touched Sozo's face. "And this is..."
"King Sozo, milady," replied the mushroom king cheerfully. He wanted to bow, but she almost stick her fingers into his cheeks. "King likes his face, thank you." She let him go. She laughed briefly. "Brave food," she commented.
"King Sozo not food," Helob snorted.
"Yes, yes... she heard... For them it's food," she replied, pointing to the ceiling. Lurking there was a lot, a whole lot of spiders. "But they respect the right of priority. Helob's prey. No one will move."
After these words, she retreated, as a strange sound rang out high above them - as if a large number of claws were unexpectedly moving across the stone. Indeed, the spiders dodged as a large female spider walked across the vault, and after a moment she lowered herself abruptly on a rope. It hovered right in front of Helob's face, but didn't look at him. She hissed at another female. The hairy female responded with a hiss, but after a moment she bowed humbly. She folded her hands over her head in the shape of the sickle of the moon and on bent legs retreated into the shadows. Sozo watched this with interest.
"And better not forget where you belong Amethyst," snorted the new female spider, and then turned her gaze to Helob. "Helob, honey... Three of five for this poseur? You disappoint me..."
"This is in the pure bloodline of his sister," Helob reminded. "It's not appropriate otherwise... Two for Sheela and her hatchling..."
"Oh, well... Give them, let them eat..." The spider female waved her hand almost dismissively, and then swang a little towards Sozo. "Hm... and there must be... Oh, yes, I can smell you, Helob..." She touched Sozo's cheek, but her touch was gentle, barely a tingle. "Quite an appetizing morsel."
"King Sozo, at your service," Sozo bowed slightly.
She squinted her eyes. She glanced at Helob, who had already handed over the preys to the spiders and was now looking beaming at Sheela. The latter spun around on the rope and sank to the ground. She looked at the ant again. "I must admit that I am... only slightly puzzled. That's what he meant by "prefers slender." Yes, yes, undoubtedly... Ants are slender. She doesn't ask about technical details. But it's interesting..."
"Helob?" Sozo didn't quite understand what the female spider was talking about. This one sensed it. She laughed.
"Oh, boys... So you haven't... yet. How sweet. You are as innocent as a fresh hatchling... Helob, beloved... You have satisfied my curiosity and brought appetizing gifts, now let me gifted you..."
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Tymczasem Helob i Sozo szli ciemnymi, wilgotnymi korytarzami. Sozo rozglądał się z zachwytem.
- Jest tu mroczniej i bardziej klimatycznie niż Sozo zapamiętał.
- Domena dziczeje, wasza królewska mość - zauważył pająk. - Dawne naczynia Shamury starają się utrzymać porządek, ale... nie zawsze się udaje. Pewne kawałki Silk Cradle są już opanowane przez bestie - i wszechobecny głód.
- To może za mało darów wzięliśmy? - zauważył Sozo. - Król mówił, że może kazać grzybowym poddanym iść z nimi, nie szkoda mu ich wcale...
- Większość pająków nie ruszy grzybowych ludzi. Nieufne. Helob odporny na trucizny, ale nie każdy pająk tak ma, nie, nie... Grzybowi poddani zaś przypuszczalnie trujący. Król Sozo chce iść o własnych nogach? Jagnię raczej nie śledzi ich kroków...
- A mogę tak zostać? Jesteś bardzo wygodną lektyką, mój miły... - zamruczał Sozo, gładząc futro pająka. Helob uśmiechnął się lekko.
- Helob da radę nieść króla i ofiary do samego domu. Nie problem.
Szli dosyć długo. W pewnym momencie obaj wyczuli, że są obserwowani - i liczba obserwatorów rosła. Kilka razy na poziomie oczu króla Sozo zwieszały się na linach pajęczyce i obserwowały go z zainteresowaniem. Były z reguły malutkie, mniejsze nawet od grzybowych poddanych. Machał do nich wesoło, a one się płoszyły.
- Nie zwraca uwagi na dzieci - rzucił Helob, widząc to. - I nie utrzymuje kontaktu wzrokowego. Wykorzystają to, żeby dźgnąć. Jad nie zaszkodzi królowi, ale nadal będzie boleć.
- Jasne. Helob, dużo masz tej rodziny? Bo żyjesz już trochę, więc zakładam...
- Helob sam nie jest pewien. Takiej, która wie na pewno, że pochodzi od jego sióstr, ma kilka setek. Są jeszcze potencjalni potomkowie z linii braci, ale to zawsze trudniej prześledzić. Nie ze wszystkimi utrzymuję kontakt, nie, nie, nie ze wszystkim. Z niektórymi nie warto. Sheela, o której mówił, jest z linii brata. Ale ona więcej niż daleka kuzynka. To poza królem Sozo, jedyna przyjaciółka Heloba, tak...
- Mam nadzieję, że tylko przyjaciółka... - zamruczał Sozo, a Helob lekko zadrżał na te słowa. Sozo gładził jego czoło. - Sozo nie chciałby, aby zjadła mu przyjaciela. Musiałby wtedy okazać brak respektu zwyczajom pająków i ją zabić.
Sam nie wiedział czemu, ale Helob uśmiechnął się szeroko na te słowa. I z takim szerokim uśmiechem pokonał resztę drogi. Dotarli do wielkiej komnaty, mając na karku już spore stadko. Część pająków oddzieliła się, widząc dokąd zmierzają - zapewne były spoza rodziny. Reszta jednak oczekiwała. Czuć było podekscytowanie.
Helob zdjął z pleców Sozo, który zachichotał, i postawił go na ziemi, potem sięgnął po drewnianą konstrukcję. Nie zdołał zawołać, gdy z ciemności wyszło ku nim kilka pająków.
- Helob.... - usłyszeli syk wielkiej pajęczycy. Miała owłosione nogi i wielki fioletowy odwłok pokryty futrem, a jej czarne oczy mrużyły się lekko. Zdecydowanie wyglądała na krewną Heloba. Towarzyszące jej cztery mniejsze samice i kilku samców, zatrzymało się tuż za nią. Przekrzywiła głowę. - Dawno się nie widzieliśmy... Dziękujemy za poprzedni dar.
- Wybaczy, że był skromny. Dziś Helob ma więcej. Nadal mało, tak, tak, ale w sam raz dla każdego po kęsie...
Pajęczyca wyraźnie oczekiwała, więc Helob wziął trzy z pięciu kokonów i podał jej. Zmacała każdy nim posłała dalej, a potem skinęła głową usatysfakcjonowana. A potem wyciągnęła dłoń zakończoną trzema ostrymi pazurami i dotknęła twarzy Sozo.
- A to jest...
- Król Sozo, droga pani - odparł wesoło grzybowy król. Chciał się skłonić, ale ona wbiła palce w jego policzki. - Król lubi swoją twarz, dziękuję.
Puściła go. Zaśmiała się krótko.
- Odważne jedzenie - skomentowała.
- Króle Sozo nie jedzenie - prychnął Helob.
- Tak, tak... słyszała... Dla nich to jedzenie - odparła, wskazując na sufit. Czaiło się tam mnóstwo, całe mrowie pająków. - Ale szanują prawo pierwszeństwa. Ofiara Heloba. Nikt nie ruszy.
Po tych słowach wycofała się, bo rozległ się wysoko nad nimi dziwny dźwięk - jakby duża liczba pazurów nieoczekiwanie przesuwała się po kamieniu. W istocie, pająki umykały, gdy po sklepieniu przeszła wielka pajęczyca, a po chwili opuściła się gwałtownie na linie. Zawisła tuż przed twarzą Heloba, ale nie patrzyła na niego. Zasyczała na tamtą. Włochata pajęczyca odpowiedziała sykiem, ale po chwili pochyliła się pokornie. Złożyła dłonie nad głową w kształt sierpu księżyca i na ugiętych nogach wycofała się w cień. Sozo obserwował to z zainteresowaniem.
- I lepiej nie zapominaj, gdzie twoje miejsce Ametyst - prychnęła nowa pajęczyca, a potem skierowała spojrzenie na Heloba. - Helob, skarbie... trzy z pięciu dla tej pozorantki? Zawodzisz mnie...
- To w czystej linii krew jego siostry - przypomniał Helob. - Nie wypada inaczej... Dwa dla Sheeli i jej wykluwku...
- Och, dobrze... Daj im, niech jedzą... - pajęczyca niemal lekceważąco machnęła dłonią, a potem bujnęła się nieco w stronę Sozo. - Hm... a tu musi być... Och, tak, czuję twój zapach, Helob... - Dotknęła policzka Sozo, ale jej dotyk był delikatny, ledwie muśnięcie. - Całkiem apetyczny kąsek.
- Król Sozo, do usług - Sozo pokłonił się lekko.
Przymrużyła oczy. Zerknęła na Heloba, który przekazał już ofiary pająkom i teraz rozpromieniony patrzył na Sheelę. Ta okręciła się na linie i opadła na ziemię. Znów spojrzała na mrówkę.
- Przyznam, że jestem... jedynie lekko zdumiona. To miał na myśli, mówiąc "woli smukłe". Tak, tak, niewątpliwie... Mrówki są smukłe. Nie pyta o szczegóły techniczne. Ale to interesujące...
- Helob? - Sozo nie do końca rozumiał, o czym pajęczyca mówi. Ta wyczuła to. Roześmiała się.
- Och, chłopcy... Więc wy jeszcze nie... Jakie to słodkie. Jesteście niewinni jak świeży wykluwek... Helob, najmilszy... Zaspokoiłeś moją ciekawość i przyniosłeś apetyczne dary, pozwól teraz mnie obdarować was...
Prompt: “Crowley usually had to fetch Aziraphale to squash particularly large spiders.” (”Mirror, Mirror” ch 4 by ImprobableDreams900 - title from x)
Fandom: Good Omens
Words: 463
It was watching him. Crowley knew it was watching him. He was getting cold as the bathroom fan rattled, drawing cooling moisture off his skin as the shower drip, drip, dripped, but he didn't dare take his eyes off it.
He quickly contemplated several possible courses of action. He could ignore it and hoped it went away (but it would still be there, just out of sight). He could miracle it away (but that might make it angry). He could...take care of it himself (but it was so fast, his mind wailed at him, what if it got away).
Crowley slowly reached for the nearest towel on the towel rod and patted his hands dry before wrapping the towel around his waist. Then he carefully miracled his mobile phone from the counter into his hand. He unlocked it by muscle memory and was about to glance down to find Aziraphale's contact info when he paused. There was no telling what might happen if he looked away for even a split second.
He hesitated. Crowley held his phone up closer to his face and held down the "home" button. "Siri, call Angel."
After several frustrated attempts to get Siri to call "Aziraphale" and not "Zero Phil, what are you doing, Siri, 'Zero Phil' isn't even a thing," he'd given up and just entered his counterpart in as "Angel." The good news was that Aziraphale would never find out, even if Crowley handed his phone over, complete with passwords. (Aziraphale was still coming to terms with the ability to send "textual messages" through the phone.)
"Just to confirm," Siri chirped cheerily, "you'd like to call Angel, mobile." Leave it to the Americans to invent something so terrible that it annoyed a demon with six millennia of experience dealing with the worst of humanity.
"Call," Crowley snarled. It was still there, just sitting ever so calmly in the middle of his bathroom floor, as if it owned the place.
"Calling," Siri informed him serenely.
"'Bout bloody time," he muttered.
After three, four, c'mon, angel, five, six rings, Aziraphale finally picked up. "Crowley?" Crowley could almost see the puzzled bafflement that would have set in on the angel's face. "Is everything alright? We're not set to meet at the Ritz for an hour, right? I'm not late--"
"Aziraphale," Crowley interrupted. "I need your help."
"Of course, my dear," Aziraphale answered promptly. "Whatever is it?"
It was still on his floor, thank Someone. Crowley didn't know what he'd do if it had moved. "There's a spider in my bathroom." There was a moment of silence on the line, and Crowley rushed to fill it. "Would you be able to come over and take care of it?"
Aziraphale's voice was warm. "Of course, my dear," he reiterated. "I'll be right over."
Looking for a spooky read this Halloween? Get Billy Blacksmith Tome One and Two with cover art by [Growing Up Aspie]. I guarantee they're Spooktacular. -Nathan Billy Blacksmith: The Demonslayer http://amzn.to/2fdPYc1 Billy Blacksmith: The Hellforged (The Blacksmith Legacy: Tome Two) http://amzn.to/2xOoMJz
