#bigrant

[lockylab-blog]

History and Research

History as a general subject i love and learning about the history of the industry that i love most, now i couldn’t think of anything better.

This session at AIE was a big one with a lot of writing and watching. We started by watching a movie titled ‘How video games changed the world’. This movie was great, filled with a lot of specific information regarding the first video game Pong in 1972, through to influential games like Pac-man, Tetris and DOOM, moving onto more controversial titles such as Grand Theft Auto III and Mortal Kombat before closing with modern hits like Minecraft and The Last of Us. The film looks at specific titles like these and many more as they represent specific changes in the industry which shifted how games were made at those points in time but also how games have leaked their way into everyday life, bit by bit, year by year. 

There was a few titles i was not aware of which was interesting but more to my surprise was to see in a more broad way how video games since the 80′s have been such a massive medium that has played a role in the affect of day to day culture. It gave me so much inspiration and excitement to be part of the next generation of game creators who get to the set the tone for the future of gaming and who will play a large role in shaping the way everyday culture could look down the track. 

After this we looked into market research for games, how to do it, where to find it and how valuable it is. This exercise gave me such a great insight into a whole different side of the gaming that was originally foreign to me. Shortly following the completion of our research task into a genre, (Management games) i realised that games production or being a games producer is a job i am going to strive for and to be honest one that i think i would be good at. (keeping in mind that i still have so much to learn and always will, after all we are always learning) 

Everyday i spend here at AIE i feel my knowledge growing, my desire to be in this industry rise and my drive get stronger and stronger. This was the best decision i ever made.

[cozysecrets]

Please don’t come back into my life for three weeks pretend to like me act like you’ll change and when I mess up use it against me trash me and don’t give me the time of day. at the end of the day people not liking me bothers me a lot more than it should but I can let you manipulate me and turn my friends against me because I can’t get it right. I may suck but clearly i’m replaceable so don’t come to me again and flirt up a storm just to make me cry. I’m so over the stupid cycle. I need to be better. I’m not good enough but the fact that you won’t even communicate makes me so upset. I want to cry all the time, you cause my sleep loss, I can’t do it anymore because you guilt me all the time and you’re not perfect and I just think it’s super hypocritical that my explanations always turn into excuses due to your accusations. I just can’t get it fucking right can I? I really can’t and there are a lot of great parts about you but you couldn’t appreciate a single thing about me so please get out of my life goddamnit. I can’t be controlled by your opinion anymore. You have broken my heart more times to count and i’m sure i’ve done the same so I just need like A LOT OF TIME until you actually want to try and love all of me or even put up with all of me. I can’t. I really cannot anymore.

[deahgge]

Rant

It's kind of insulting to me to see the person I try my best on to take time upon myself to make that person feel better and it takes longer because I am a worrier. I worry a lot. It bothers me to see that person only try once and never try harder the second time. Of course, honesty is our best solution so I do become honest if not stubborn to be honest. The problem is, I cannot address my problem if it cannot be fixed due to the restraints that person I'm with doesn't think they can do anything. I don't blame them. Their low self-esteem, low confidence and lack of determination in certain situations diminishes the appeal to try to find a solution. However, that person will only try if they are forced to. I've seen this before and I have tried. Yet, that person takes it upon a dramatic level where it feels like it could end them in any moment. Yes, you can be sensitive towards the words you're saying but that person will not try anymore due to the fact that person feels no reason to. (I'm sorry if this rant feels a little mean or anything but I just feel like people shouldn't give up just because they think they can't. Unless, of course, that they literally can't then that's a reason to do so.) P.S. I don't hate that person. I just feel like that person needs to realize that I do appreciate their help but sometimes trying harder makes things better in the situation that can make each other feel more happy.

[chriss2847]

CANT I JUST RANT OUT THAT A CERTAIN SOMEONE HAD THE NERVE TO BLOCK ME FROM SEEING THEIR FACEBOOK PAGE ALL BECAUSE THAT SOMEONE ENDED A RELATIONSHIP/FRIENDSHIP WITH ME. WELL YOU KNOW WHAT??!!!....ILL RANT THIS OUT TO YOU: YOU GOT SOME NERVE TO TAKE THE TIME AND BLOCK ME FROM SEEING YOUR PAGE! I know what I had done to you was wrong and hurtful...but I CLEARLY DONT DESERVE THIS!! I DONT DESERVE TO NOT BE FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE WHO GOES AND DOES THAT TO SOMEONE WHO THEY USED TO LOVE AND CHERISH!!! BUT W/E, ITS TOTALLY FINE BUT YOU MADE THE MISTAKE OF ENDING THE RELATIONSHIP WITH ME EVEN WHEN THINGS SEEMED TO GO DOWN. SO YOU KNOW WHAT??? GO AHEAD, MOVE ON, GO DATE SOME S*** WHO'S A LOT BETTER THAN I AM! JUST DONT LET ME BE THE ONE THAT YOU'D COME RUNNING BACK TO AFTER A WHILE IF THINGS DONT WORK OUT! I wanted to try to be friends with you. But you go and block me from seeing your facebook page...you just took it way too far and I clearly didn't deserve this AT ALL! Thank you. END OF RANT.

[ncattt]

Thanks to the lovely care of my grandma's doctor and him prescribing of 800mg  of Tegretol daily for her, she is now in the emergency room.  Dehydrated, confused, and scared.  

I hate how much people use pills.  I hate how dependent people are on them.  I hate how easy it is for doctors to throw pharmaceuticals at their patients to do an easy fix.  I hate how they don't educate their patients on what they even give them.

How in the world am I supposed to feel when I come over with my brother, walk into a room and see that everything that was on a table was spilled on the ground?  When I confront my grandma and she starts to cry in shame and embarrassment about how she fell due to a nerve firing in her brain, and fell on the table and hit her face?  

How when all of a sudden I am the person between us that is trying to comfort and make her stop crying.  When about ten years ago it was flipped?

When my grandma is saying how she is scared to death that she may need brain surgery and would rather die than do so, when she was told nothing of her new drug prescription so all the vomiting and lightheadedness she was feeling she thought was from her breakfast?

What kind of fucking doctor is that?  Doesn't inform their patient, but just tells her to not stress?  What the actual fuck?

I'm fucking watching my own relative deteriorate before me, becoming some kind of nervous and afraid child as her body starts to fail her.  She lives in a home by herself and doesn't eat or sleep.  She is taking random pills and every time I call her she seems to be sick. 

Yeah people die, but jesus fucking christ she shouldn't be going through this.  

[lagomarbast-blog-blog]

things I am thinking: my American dream?

Yesterday, as I was racing up an alley to class (late, as per usual), I let out a slow, deep, melodic sigh- mostly so I could take another deep breath and kick it into gear to climb up the hill.  I had a moment of, 'fuck. this feels hard today'.  It doesn't feel hard every day, but it certainly feels hard on a lot of days.  Things were starting to weigh me down; a glimpse at my thought process: I have to rush to this class, so that I can take the exam I kind of studied for, so that I can get a good grade, so that I can go to graduate school, because I need a higher degree so that I can try to remotely support myself, but first I have to rush to work after this, so that I can pay for the class that I'm taking and the gas that it takes and the food that I'd like to eat and the loans that I need to pay back...and on and on.  Please keep in mind that I am so well aware these are first world problems.  Before those thoughts even finished leaking out of my mind I began to wonder, how does anyone fucking do this?  I am white, American, a native English speaker, mostly privileged, mostly middle class, in pretty good health, well educated, I have a very supportive family, I have no dependents, I have no one else to take care of- not even a pet!  How does ANYONE fucking do this?  When did LIVING become so hard?  Everyone is rushing around, like chickens with their heads cut off, to make all this money to reach a goal that...wait, what IS the goal?  I need a new fucking goal, because my goal is not to get to the 'top'.  It isn't to have the most money.  I don't want the nicest, biggest, gas guzzling car.  I don't want any televisions or rooms filled with shit that I'll never use or wear or see.  I need a new American dream.  Or maybe I just need to move...