Slashers with a s/o who has weird cravings for inedible things
Have you ever looked at tide pods, erasers, basically anything with a big DO NOT EAT CONTACT POISON CONTROL IF INGESTED sticker on them? Me too! So here’s a funny little thing for that!
Ps: please don’t actually eat any of the things in this- there are alternative things that you can actually eat that are similar to these things!
Gender neutral reader - they/them and you is used
Slashers included: Bo Sinclair, Vincent Sinclair, Jason Vorehees, Michael Myers, Brahms Heelshire, Billy Loomis and Stu Macher
Vincent Sinclair:
“Vinny Vinny Vinny!”
“???”
“Can I eat some of that wax?” You pointed off to the scraps on the table by the art piece he was currently working on.
“?!?!?!” Cue frantic signing - ‘Y/n no- you can’t eat that, it will make you sick! Why would you even want to in the first place?’
You shrugged. “I dunno. It just looks warm and tasty!”
Vincent will now make sure to keep an eye on you anytime you are around wax.
But one day your curiosity won, and he caught you mid lick on one of his sculptures.
Yeah he was all mother hen on you for a while.
Bo Sinclair:
Bo was in his garage (surprise surprise) working on a car. You decided to tag along.
“Hey Bo, can I drink some of that?”
“Sure darlin.” Bo had said without looking up. He has just assumed you were talking about the glass of ice tea he has sitting next to him.
It wasn’t until her heard you spitting up something into the dirt that he actually looked up and saw the bottle of oil in your hand…
“Y/n what the fuck?!” He shouted at you. He was angry sure but he was mostly concerned and didn’t want you to fucking poison yourself, so he stuck two fingers down your throat and forced you to puke.
“Why would you do that?!”
“It looked like root beer!” You shouted between coughs.
“God you’re almost as bad as Lester…”
Jason Vorhees:
Oh if you think this man will even let you get anything inedible anywhere near your mouth you are wrong.
Jason has had to swat out jelly erasers out of your hand while you were working on a drawing because the fake pink strawberry inside it was just too tempting for you. You now only get to use boring white erasers… which you were banned from for a while when you thought they looked like marshmallows.
“Hey Jason, what do you think tidepods taste like?” You are no longer aloud to do laundry by yourself.
But he would help make snacks for you that have said texture of whatever thing you want. Wanna eat sand? Here’s some granola he’s made and crushed up to look and feel like it!
Michael Myers:
You’ve probably eaten a lot of stuff you shouldn’t have- dude isn’t the most observant at first.
But the second he does catch you, he’s watching you like a hawk.
He about yelled at you when he saw you munching on one of his (thankfully clean) jump suits. But he didn’t and instead took it away from you, lightly tapping you on your nose, scolding you like you were a teething puppy.
Actually that is what he saw you as when you’d do this-
He isn’t a cooker or a baker but if he finds anything edible that he thinks would satisfy your cravings then he will take it.
Brahms Heelshire
“New rule! Y/n is not aloud to eat anything without Brahms’ permission!”
“Brahms I don’t think that’s gonna work-“
“THEN STOP TRYING TO EAT THE PIANO KEYS!”
What? The Heelshire’s have a lot of old stuff! A lot of old tasty looking stuff… like the piano and Brahms’ records.
Brahms sometimes feels like a nanny for you when it comes to food. He now sits on the counter and watches you like a bird hunting it’s prey to make sure you aren’t sneaking anything in your mouth you shouldn’t. Don’t worry Brahms! They’d never do that!… would you..?
Billy and Stu:
Stu does the same thing as you.
Billy feels like he needs to keep you both on those little backpacks with those leashes that keep kids from running into traffic.
He has put you two in them before… he calls it ‘dumb snacking jail’
You make a comment about how Billy would know all about being in a jail.
