#bird dads

[toadpolliwog]

DDVAU doodles i drew while i was bored in class, since chapter 22 came out a few days ago :D

chapter 22 is so good but i'm so concerned for Grian.. ToT

little Grian watching a Movie based on the cannon fic that came out after :)

[blujellybug]

HE WANTS THAT COOKIE SO BAD

[clay-core]

"Birddads" I say as I take a long drag of my cigarette

[just-tf2-headcanonsandthings]

I made that fic request post forever ago and I feel so bad I'm just now getting to these but @fontodue I hope you enjoy

===

Sniper had been called away on a mission and would be gone for over a week. Heavy and Medic decided to go to a lodge a bit up north for the weekend. Engineer, Soldier, Demoman, and Pyro all took a roadtrip to go check out some sort of oddities shop that had opened the next town over and decided to make a weekend trip of it as well. The base was quiet.

"Yo, Spy!"

Mostly.

Spy and Scout were the only two left on the base. And while the calm, quiet, serene bliss of having a relatively empty base was almost heaven for Spy, it was torture - he discovered - for Scout. He'd come to find out that living with seven older brothers only to move to a base with 8 other mercenaries meant he didn't know what quiet really meant or how to appreciate it. But he'd been patient with Scout's annoyingly constant seeking him out. He knew it was only because he was lonely.

And so when he did it again while Spy was laying on the couch in the rec room, enjoying the silence with his eyes shut, he didn't even so much as let out a sigh. He simply moved his arm off his face to look up at him leaning over the back of the couch. "Yes?"

"Okay, good, you're awake. So, I had an idea. Since everyone else is kinda off doin' their thing.. I was thinkin.. ya know.. maybe you and I could head to town in that fancy car 'a yours and pick up chicks at the bar."

"Scout-"

"I know what you're thinkin', and I know. Regular bar chicks ain't your thing, you like fancy ladies. But, and hear me out, I've got a plan."

"Scout-"

"Spy, come on, just trust me with this, please! I'm tellin' you, this idea is foolproof!"

"I am fairly certain in order for a plan to not be foolproof, a fool could not have come up with it."

"Well thankfully there ain't one here today, so come on!" He grabbed Spy and pulled him up to his feet, leading him back to his room. "So here's my plan. We need to stand out, right? If we can get all eyes on us, then we have their attention and we can pick whoever we want at that point." He opened his bedroom door, leaving Spy standing outside it as he stepped in and talked loudly through it. "I went through everything I've got.. and maybe some'a everyone else's stuff, don't tell them. And I think I've put together the best outfit!"

Spy leaned back against the wall opposite to the door, staring at it with an eyebrow raised. He folded his arms over his chest and waited for whatever this horrible display was about to be. And upon its reveal, he..

..well, it took every atom in his body to not move a single muscle in his face, for starters.

Spy stood there, bewildered as his eyes roamed over him. He'd found one of Demoman's kilts. One of Sniper's hats. And what he can only assume is one of Medic's dressier shirts he wears when he and Heavy go out for their weekly dinner dates. None of it matched. Or fit, for that matter. But his eyes darted up to Scout's face and the hopeful look in his eye knocked him out of his stupor.

He cleared his throat and reached up to fix his own waistcoat as he moved away from the wall. "Well, ah.. it is something, I shall give it that. And I can tell you.. chose things wisely." He moved around to look in at the clothing pile on his bed. And then back at Scout again. And then at the clothes, thinking long and hard before turning to him once more with a smile. "How about we move all of this to the recreational room and.. go through it together? I can think of a few.. adjustments we could make to this, oui?"

There was a sparkle in Scout's eye as he ran in to gather all of it in his arms and rush out to head down the hall. Spy followed him, bending down to pick up each article of clothing that falls like a breadcrumb trail behind him.

...

Medic huffed as he opened the door, folding his arms and looking at Heavy. "I still can't believe it. Snowed in!"

"It was lodge, Doktor.. it should have snow."

"But we're in the middle of a desert, it was a desert lodge! How could it be snowed in?"

Heavy chuckled as he moved past him, stepping into the rec room and pausing at the sight. He felt Medic bump into his back before moving around him to see as well.

Scout and Spy sat on the floor, two bottles of wine - one clearly empty - and a mountain of clothes sitting beside them. Both dressed in mismatched outfits and laughing with each other. Spy was the one who noticed them finally when bringing his glass up to take a drink. He paused, looking at the mess and then back at them. "We.. were not expecting anyone to return so soon."

Medic only squinted. "..Spy, are you wearing my pants?"

Scout, already drunk, snickered and then leaned over to wrap his arm around Spy's shoulders. "Yeah, he's showin' me how to, uh.. what were we doin' with all this again?"

Spy looked over at him. "You tried wearing Demoman's kilt to a bar and I was not about to let you do that."

Scout pointed at Spy, looking to Medic. "Yeah, that!"

Medic only sighed, looking between the two. His question wasn't answered, and he only had even more questions now, but he was still too upset with not having a lodge for the weekend to care. Shaking his head, he turned to head to the bedrooms, Heavy following behind him. "You two are doing laundry for a week if you spill wine on anything."

Spy waited for them to leave before turning to Scout and grinning. "Do you think we should tell them we used his shirt to mop up the wine we spilled on the floor?"

"Well, in our defense, we didn't spill it ON his shirt."

The two laughed harder into the rest of the night, plans of going out to drink long since forgotten.

[finks-spaghetti]

Stenbrough concept:

Stanley brings home a pigeon that happened to be on the side of the road and doesn't tell Bill.

So like one night, Bills in the shower and the pigeon just casually slips in the shower with him.

All Stanley can hear in the distance is a high pitch scream and a weak "STANNNNNNN!"

Of course Stanley gets up from his chair--closing his favourite book and wonders over to the bathroom, which to where he sees Bill in the corner with a shower cap on--along with his arm outstretched holding on for dear life a backscrubber with a terrified, confused expression and the pigeon titling his head, cooing up at him.

Stanley stands there, fiddling with his fingers with a shy grin on his features, looking at them both and he goes " so, this is our son--Benjamin."

[good-nightstalker]

Bird dads and their new bird son

[merbis]

Vi N.: How come your parents are so different, Kabbu?

Leif R.: they aren't. you come from a family of clones

Kabbu B.: Hoo! Well, my dad grew up in the city and-

[sitta-pusilla]

Happy Father’s Day to Birds And Nobody Else*!

Every Father’s Day some media outlet or another releases a cutesy list of, “Top 10 Animal Dads!” I have no problem with this sort of feel-good edutainment. But these lists are always super mammal-centric (I mean, look at who writes and reads them) and inevitably always include lions, which lmao, No. I love The Lion King dearly, but real life male lions love absolutely no one except their brothers. Yeah, they protect their cubs from outside males, but you can’t convince me they care about anything beyond protecting their genetic investment.

But birds! Birds are FANTASTIC fathers! Even when they’re unfaithful partners, they’re still usually really really good dads! As far as paternal instincts go, I’d say there is no other taxon that does it better! Certainly not, lol, mammals. Good mammal dads are far and few between. Meanwhile, the vast majority of male birds are out here at this very moment (because it’s breeding season in my hemisphere) feeding their babies, protecting them from predators and rival birds, cleaning up after them, showing them how to forage, and being good role models for sexual imprinting. And this is true across a lot of bird families! Raptors--your hawks, eagles, owls, vultures, etc--are all great dads, parrots are great dads, storks are great dads, cranes are great dads, all corvids are great dads, penguins are great dads, ostriches are exceptionally great dads, woodpeckers are great dads, warblers are great dads, blue-footed boobies are great dads, shrikes are great dads, cardinals are great dads! That seagull stealing fries on the boardwalk? He’s a great dad! That pigeon with the missing toes sleeping under the overpass? He’s a great dad! That canada goose hissing and honking at you? He’s just trying to protect his adorable fluffy children! 

I’ll end this post with a couple photos of late, great, bird dad Ezra of Cornell Hawks fame. When he died, nestcam watchers around the world shared screenshots of their favorite moments. One of the most popular was the time he shielded his mate Big Red and their chicks (who were still young enough to all fit under Mom) from the rain with his body.

RIP Ezra, and Happy Father’s Day to birds everywhere!

*and some frogs and a few fish. You all deserve honorable mentions before literally any lion.