I think one of the worst things that I am observing around me is that so. many. of my friends who are in m/f relationships suddenly seem to feel this overwhelming urge to match the relationship and cohabitation pattern normalised by their social class. Regardless of their personal plans before hitting middle age, this means a house, marriage, kids. There are so very few exceptions.
I do not observe this power at all in the wlw couples in my life. They’re all doing their own thing. Starting families, not starting families, travelling, both focusing on their careers, going back to school in their mid-forties just because, buying a house, not buying a house, buying a flat, selling a flat and going back to renting.
The m/f couples in my life have a household chore division straight out of the fifties - the wife does most of the housework “because she’s better at it anyway”, she takes care of the children “because she’s better at it”, he gets more time off to do his thing because “he just needs time for himself”.
M/F couples - you don’t have to do this.
If you genuinely want all that, perfect, go do that!
But - you do not have to do that! Even if everybody else does!
You don’t have to buy that house if you don’t want to even if everybody else has one.
He can care for the kids just as much as she can.
You don’t have to work so hard on fitting the mould, there is no reward for that!
