#bisexualiy

[bidotorg]

What do you do when coming out changes your relationship?

Ask A Bi Dad: My wife of 30 years didn’t take my coming out well

First of all: you are not alone.

[honeyravenclaw]

Weirdly excited

So we’ve received the census that needs filling out this month. This is the first time I’ll be able to fill it out as a fully fledged adult and I’m weirdly excited that I get to put a tick in a box that says I AM BISEXUAL!

I’ve never publicly stated on a form my sexual orientation TRUTHFULLY because I’ve only recently (last year) accepted myself.

Others may think I’m weird, or it’s sad, but I am happy to be able to express my sexuality publicly, officially and proudly state it for all to see.

[rainbowd4she]

Why am I obssessed with Magnus Bane and you should be too - Some thoughts about being bisexual in this strange, strange world

Sexuality has always been an issue in my life. It doesn’t seem like it today, because I do my best to act as if I had totally embrace who I am, but it was never that simple. A few years ago, bisexuality wasn’t even a thing I knew about and when I say that, you have to understand that I was already acting as a bisexual at the time and not so young anymore. But I come from a world where you don’t talk about sex, relationships or love. I never had “the talk” with my parents, all I ever knew about sex, I learned on TV or at school. My parents never supported me when a boy broke my heart, because it would happen again and it wasn’t a big deal. So, of course, I never told them that if I was so sad or weird, or if I didn't have any friends at school, it was because I was afraid of the way I felt about my girl friends. The first time I accepted my feelings for a girl, I was already nineteen, actually. But still, I knew I was different way longer before that, back in middle school when all the girls would spend hours talking about the boys and all I wanted was to spend my time with some girl I liked to call my best friend. The only other different kid I knew for almost fifteen years was a boy in middle school who liked to wear dresses and whom others kids would hit almost everyday for it. I don’t even remember his name, because I spend so much time acting like I didn’t see him. 

Today, I have no problem in saying I’m bisexual. All my friends are very accepting of this, my mom never says a word when I talk about it in front of her, my husband supports me in my fight for bisexual rights. Everything seems good. Except that, when I start talking about the fact that bisexuals need more recognition, most of those accepting people are taken aback. To them, “it’s 2019, no one cares about other people’s sexuality and those who do care are morons”. I love my friends for that, for being really open-minded and not treating people differently because of who they are, who they love or how they look like. Some would say they are really naive to think that way and they would be right. Because the world isn’t like they think it is.

I remember when I was sixteen and I met my first serious boyfriend. He was great and he was always more than happy when I was a little too drunk and kissed a girl in front of him. He was the typical straight guy who thought he could have sex with two girls if his girlfriend was so open. Then we broke up for a few months, I dated a girl for the first time in that period and when we got back together, we’d have huge fights anytime I’d approach a girl. It wasn’t fun and exciting anymore. It was a problem because I could have had sex with the girl without him if I ever wanted to. We broke up for good after a three-years relationship because of it, because he couldn’t accept the fact that I liked girls but I loved him only. Because of him, because of the way he felt when I was spending time with a girl, I wondered if I was really honest with myself. I wondered if, maybe, I was just gay and I wouldn’t accept it. I wasn’t. I’m not. 

But this proves that bisexuals aren’t “no big deal”. They are transparent. I’m 26 now, and my sexuality is sometimes still an issue. I started volunteering for the LGBTQA+ center of my city this year and it was as great as it was awful. I met wonderful people and most of them don’t even know I’m bi or married to a guy. When I talked with some of them, they just assumed I was married to a girl and I didn’t say otherwise. Some called me a “sympathisant” when I said I wasn’t a lesbian. Some would be really awful with bisexuals in front of me, because they didn’t know about me. I like them all, but they think people like me have no business at the association, even though the “B” in “LGBTQA+” is for Bisexuals… The worst part is that, for some people I met in the past, the simple fact that I’m married to a guy is proof that I’m kinda “cured” of my attraction to girls. This is really stupid, but something I have to live with everyday. 

When I first met Magnus Bane, I was already 23 and in a three-years relationship with my husband. This is going to sound crazy but it was the first time in my life that I heard of a bisexual character in a successful teen novel. And Magnus was… He was that guy who would wear make-up for the exact same reason I do : to hide the scars on his soul, to tell the world “I’m great and I’m happy and everything is fine”. He was that guy who was so sassy and funny and a little effeminate maybe, but so powerful that no one would mess with him. He was awesome. He could wear make-up and kicked ass, he could love a boy and assumed that he loved a girl before and every other character would respect him, loved him, cared for him. He was the best and I wish I would have known him when I was a teenager. Because he was all I’ve ever wanted to be : a kind, loving and badass bisexual person. I feel more connected to Alec because we have the same kind of personality, the older sibling who has to be the best kind, but Magnus is the one I love the most. He is a good character, a great example for young readers and an awesome representation for bisexuals. Growing up, I knew no one like him in the books I loved. Harry Potter was my favorite, but when I learned that Dumbledore was gay, it wasn’t as great : it didn’t really show in the books and well… He was gay, I’m not. 

I know there is a lot of bi characters in other books. But, when you’re twelve, you don’t really read those books and most young adult novels with important LGBTQA+ characters are for LGBTQA+ readers. Your mom won’t pick up a book with a gay boy as the hero if you’re not her gay son. And I’m pretty sure I’m not the only bi girl who was still questioning her sexuality at twelve. It would have been so great if one of my favorite books had a bi character. I wouldn’t have felt so alone growing up. My highschool best friend is today in a serious relationship with another girl. Back in highschool, she would tell me everything, but she never told me she liked girls too. Actually, she even spent a lot of her time acting as if she was madly in love with some asshole of our class. Maybe she really was, I don’t know. I lied too and never told her I was in love with her. Because we lived in a straight world, watching straight people being straight. I met a gay person for the first time at sixteen. This is crazy. I knew they existed, but not in my life and I was so scared to be gay too because of this, because I had no one to understand what it would be. So I pretend I like that guy or that one. Sometimes, I really did. Most of the time, I didn’t. It was really painful and I grew up self-conscious and ashamed of myself, of what I wanted and what I felt. 

Now I look like some obsessed fangirl when it comes to Magnus Bane, even though I’m an adult and I have a lot more in my mind that some good-looking actor on TV. Some gay guys may even think I’m that weird straight girl who fantasises about gay men having sex - wich I’m not, FYI, sex is still a complex subject for me and I can’t tell I like thinking about Malec in a bed. But I don’t care because, really, Magnus is the best thing that ever happened to me. Ok, maybe my husband is, so Magnus comes second. But still. He is what I needed to become myself, ten years ago. He happened too late for me, but he did and I’m kinda happy that he exists in pop culture for others kids who could need the best bi guy in the world to feel better. I hope they know about him and I hope that, in the future, there will be much more Magnus-like characters in books, so young LGBTQA+ never feel alone and straight kids never think there is no greatness in difference. As in my favorite childhood book, I grew up thinking same-sex attraction was something you had to hide for the most part, until you needed to talk about it on twitter. But being bisexual is more like Magnus is : awesome and colorful. It’s a chance, a power, it’s great and not some invisible thing you hide in the shadows. Being yourself should never be something transparent. Magnus taught me that. He’s bi, yes, but he’s so much more than that, too. He exists and shines outside his relationship with Alec. He is human and kind and open-minded. He has scars, fears, he’s been hurt in the past and sometimes he makes mistakes. But he stays true to himself, always, as we should all do. So yeah, Magnus Bane is a young adult novel’s character and he’s my model in life. Deal with it !

[wavepixie]

Hi, I’m bi

that’s it

[themachineinspace]

people on this website also have this weird way of alienating bi women who're dating men, and only including the ones that are constantly seeking same-sex relationships.

bi women who primarily date men are treated like they don't exist, and even on LGBT forums people act like it's an insult if someone says 'most bi women I know date men' which it really isn't? like, there's more straight and bi men on the planet than lesbians and bi women, so who cares?

like what's the point of pretending to be accepting of bisexual women, if y'all can only stomach the ones that don't date men.

[bergatroll-cabinet]

Nomad

Thank you @microficmay for the prompt!

He’s not a nomad yet, but he’s got no home.

Just Hogwarts.

And a house where he’a guest and one where he feels like a ghost.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

He’d spend a year in India, America, Belgium, Brazil… Anywhere.

Far from mercurial eyes and freckles.

Far from himself.

(You can follow the whole serie here on AO3, and if you are curious, read the long fic that gives Draco's perspective on their Eighth year here)

[hikari-yumi]

So, I’ve been coming out (again) to my mum last night and while doing so also revealed my relationship with my lovely girlfriend. Really subtly with a New Years kiss.

Whatever.

My mum didn’t react. At all. No words. Nothing. That not only disappoints me but kinda scares me. I’m really nervous about being alone with her later.

God, it’s not that she can be too surprised. But well. Still. Scary.

[hannaflavia]

I like you, it's not about sex. I like you, just happen to be gay. On pride month proudly uttered the Longing in your heart .Join us,meet your quality bisexual mate.

www.bisexualseeker.com