#blackbeardkin

[fictionkinfessions]

anyone else sitting here, multiple kinshifts at one time and shifting in and out of completely different kinshifts throughout the day? earlier today, i was blackbeard kinshifted, two hours later i’m slime kintype shifted, and now i’m loki&deity&will graham&cloud strife kinshifted all at once and i’m so damn confused-

[fictionkinfessions]

oaugh man. watching the new season of ofmd and. yea that’s not how my life went at all. the fucker left me. my crew was devastated that he left. i NEVER mistreated my crew. yes i pushed them away, but i harmed myself before i ever laid a hand on them. i stayed in my quarters most often then not, i kept myself away from my crew unless they needed me. i never hurt my crew. it sure as hell wasn’t that fucker who ‘saved me’, who ‘made me a better person’. it was the crew that saved me, they comforted me, they helped me. and with time i got better, because of them, not because of stede. i hate that the show portrays me as just getting better just like that because stede was around. he didn’t even explain why he left in the show.

my stede left. he never came back. he never explained anything. i only ever heard about some tales of the gentleman pirate, how he had a new crew.

-blackbeard

🐸

[fictionkinfessions]

yknow i understand from a narrative standpoint that "ed" and "blackbeard" are not interchangeable. that as blackbeard i was at my lowest, that in a better life i would mainly just go by ed. and god forbid i ever call myself the kraken in front of another living person (aside from stede 🥰)!

but... they're all me? they're all just. me. maybe one day i'll get more used to just calling myself ed, as i have a feeling that's the name i primarily went by for the latter half of my life. but for now i tend to instinctively call myself blackbeard. i'm not quite ed yet, i think. i just need some time.

- 🦑⚓️

[fictionkinfessions]

bonnet isn’t a heartless monster. that’s the problem. with a heartless monster, you expect to be left and betrayed and heartbroken. he actually cared, that’s what made his absence all the worse.

-blackbeard

[fictionkinfessions]

hahaaa so. don't get me wrong. i love stede bonnet. he made me feel things i never thought i'd feel. and yes he broke my heart by leaving but i understand Why, now, and i'm not really mad at him for it anymore (i actually think it was good for both of us, though it would have been nice for him to tell me beforehand lol).

but uh. izzy 🥰🥰🥰 i don't know What these feelings fully are and some of them are a little dark and violent buuuut i remember you liked that part of me. i'm pretty sure this is not a memory and instead just wish fulfillment but i very much would have wanted both you and stede, i don't want to have to choose. but you were my partner for years and years and even if we were, uh, extremely toxic for each other. there's still something there that i will never be able to lose 🥰

- 🦑⚓️ blackbeard

[fictionkinfessions]

I fucking loved you you ass. I was vulnerable around you. I cared so damn much for. I waited on that dock for hours, while you trotted to your ‘home’ and decided to fuck up the family you abandoned even more. you are sick. abandon your family, abandon your crew, abandon me. do you know how many nights i cried hoping you’d return? even on my death bed, i sat there hoping you’d show up and kiss me. -blackbeard from a canon divergent timeline of ofmd.

[fictionkinfessionsarchived]

As Blackbeard from Pan, I get fairly confused when the lore says I romantically loved mary. I did care a lot for her, and It may have seemed like I wanted to be with her, but not in a way where I'd love her romantically? I was completely aroace, yet I guess they didn't understand?