Bad Romance (Various Valentine's Guards x Reader)
Characters: Blackmore, Magenta Magenta, Mike O., Ringo Roadagain, Wekapipo
Prompt: "I want your love, and I want your revenge / You and me could write a bad romance."
Summary: These men faithfully serve your father, Funny Valentine, but what can they do when their heart craves to be known to you as more than just your bodyguard?
Rating: NSFW I have no excuse for this.
Notes: parts SFW mixed with some NSFW hcs. I think maybe Wekapipo's is a bit mean but nrjkgnjrg. GN!reader, no parts mentioned, Reader is Funny Valentine's child. Also sorry I call him Magenta Magenta lmk for next time if I should just use Magent Magent.
Word Count: ~3.5k
Tagging: @bruabbina (bestieeee come get some Ringo food!!!) @uminozerol (I don't know if you wanted to be tagged but as you are the resident Blackmore lover and FV enjoyer in my life I think you deserve some Blackmore food)
Blackmore
Blackmore has always been loyal to the Valentine family since he was hired, especially to the president himself.
Blackmore believes the Valentine family to be the most ‘worthy’ family ever, with Funny as the head and you, his child, as a worthy and divine successor. You are something unearthly that Blackmore cannot comprehend.
Normally, he isn’t always the first bodyguard assigned to you, but occasionally, Funny orders him to or you personally request him. Blackmore can’t help but feel elated when you do so, choosing him to escort you around on your daily activities. It makes him feel wonderful knowing that someone as magnificent and beautiful as you allows him within your presence.
He takes his job of protecting you seriously, quietly removing any potential threat (no matter how minor) as to not disturb you. He hates the idea of you having to witness the things he must do to protect you, nor does he want you to be exposed to the darker parts of the world.
At first he assumed the way his heart was pounding around you was due to his loyalty and eagerness to show he was useful to the family. However, it became pretty clear to him after a while the emotions he felt for you were far different from the loyalty he felt for your father.
He’d never want to act on these feelings, instead choosing to continue serving you in silence, eagerly carrying out any and all orders you may have.
He keeps himself calm around you, never allowing his voice to raise or his breath to quicken in your presence. You deserve much better than him yearning for you in such a display.
Yet, occasionally, you will linger your hands near his whenever he is escorting you in the rain, claiming that you just want to stay under his umbrella. Blackmore is confused, since the umbrella is clearly large enough for the both of you to stay comfortably under (he made sure of it himself).
Then you demand his presence more and more, even beyond things like needing an escort for going outside. He complies nonetheless, as serving you is his biggest honor.
But you… you’re too much, sometimes. You know how protective your father is of you, yet you deign to be more casual with Blackmore like he is your equal. Blackmore is flustered by such a notion, but he doesn’t want to act on it, refusing to cause you shame.
And then you corner him one day, but yet he does not mind.
“‘Scuse me… we must be getting back to the White House, soon,” he reminds you. But you insist, practically begging for him to touch you.
The way you whisper in his ears makes him want to throw his whole life away in order to serve you eternally. What could be more grand, more holy, than caring and serving you, the most glorious existence in this world?
He lets you take charge, offers himself as a sacrifice to you as you say you want to ‘thank’ him for all his hard work and loyal service to your family. Your lips and hands on his body feel divine, and he thinks he has passed away from the way you touch him.
He shouldn’t really be doing this, he argues. “What would your father think? He asks me to protect you, not… aaa… desecrate you…”
But soon, he can’t help himself, finding himself touching you back and devoting himself to making sure you feel just as much pleasure as you do. In fact, he gets greedy, especially with the way he kisses you so frantically while the rain is pouring outside.
“Such a perfect thing… you deserve to be worshipped, from this world, to the next.”
Magenta Magenta
A bodyguard who already acts far too casual for his standing with you. While your father appreciated Magenta’s work, Magenta’s attitude had often made him hesitate to pair the unprofessional man with you.
But, honestly, how could you resist him? Every ‘good morning’ he said to you was loud and proud, as if this particular morning was the best one yet. Poor pick-up lines, bad puns, and silly little magic tricks would occur soon after, making you laugh at his behavior.
“You know, you’re the only who has a sense of humor here,” he says while juggling some ice casually. “The others are so boring and act like they’re all better than me, or something.”
He finds your laugh wonderful, wanting to hear it almost every day as he comes up with new material to tell you. Being the president’s kid in this strict White House has got to be boring, so he takes it upon himself to not only protect you, but to entertain you. It gives him more opportunities to not only make you smile, but to also talk with someone who doesn’t find him annoying.
Magenta is not subtle at all with his feelings for you. He’ll pull out roses he picked from the White House lawn (he almost got chased by the gardener) and casually hand them to you, playing up the act of a suave gentleman. He’s not even afraid to flirt with you in front of the others, something Wekapipo smacks and reprimands him for.
“Tch, he’s just jealous of what we got.”
Magenta isn’t too scared of what Valentine thinks, mostly concerned about your happiness here. He’ll often suggest sneaking out of parties under the guise of ‘getting some fresh air’ so you two can hang out privately away from the highbrow guests.
While you were more proper before, thanks to Magenta’s casual behavior, you shed your overly polite ways and relax around him more.
And… well, you certainly become more bold around him. You talk of wanting to run away with him and the both of you enjoying the world by yourselves. He adds that you two should get a plane and fly it across the globe.
You lean in closer to him, far too close for any bodyguard to be around their ward. He leans in closer, not minding the distance at all.
He’s made it no secret he’s attracted to you, and seeing you try to get closer to him without telling him your feelings gets him excited.
“Tryna get me killed by your dear daddy, darling? You know I’m not allowed to make the first move for you. I don’t wanna look like the bad guy or something.”
Once you finally make the first move, then he’s all in and all over you.
He’s not a refined gentleman, not in the slightest, as he’s just focused on grinding against you and kissing you all over. He just touches and squeezes wherever he can from you.
It’s sloppy, it’s messy, but it’s passionate. All the love and tension you two had between each other since he began serving you comes out in full swing.
Do note, Magenta is a loud man. This fool forgets he isn’t supposed to be having sex with his boss’s kid, and often just gets loud and whiny in your ear. He does continue to make jokes during the act, but majority of it is praising how wonderful you feel or how pent up he is.
After the first time you did it, he’s gonna be wanting it more and more, and he’s going to try and get you two to sneak away for a bit so he can fuck the proper mask right off of you.
“There, much better, huh? Don’t worry, I know those high and mighty assholes bore you to death. So let’s have some fun, you and me!”
Mike O.
If you thought Blackmore was holding himself back, Mike O. takes the cake.
Mike is your father’s personal bodyguard, and Mike takes pride in his job. Hell, the fact Funny allows him to guard you and trusts him with you the most should be seen as the highest honor for anyone.
So why can’t he just keep it like a job and not want to hold you?
He was simply trying to do his job and make sure everything was in tip-top shape for you, yet the more he learned about you, the more he fell for you.
He’s dedicated beyond belief, especially to you. If any staff even messes up something miniscule for you, he lectures them and gives them a warning, perhaps even having another staff member care for you. If a person outside the staff bothers your threatens harm, if he doesn’t personally take care of it in the case of an emergency, he’ll head to your father and ask for permission to do something about it.
“My president… these men have been giving them a hard time. Permission to execute them? Or shall I make them simply regret having crossed the Valentine’s?”
He does find your more relaxed and easy-going nature pleasant compared to your father’s stern and secretive behavior. You may insist on treating him like an equal or being friendlier to him, but Mike doesn’t want to cross into even more unprofessional territory and will respond stoically.
He shows his care for you through physical acts of service, as that can’t be misconstrued too easily as an admission of his feelings for you. His face remains completely cold and serious, always on the lookout and always searching for any potential threats. But he makes sure your tea is the perfect temperature for you, or opens the window to let in the right amount of sunlight that you enjoy. Subtle things that none can trace back as him wanting to be more than your bodyguard.
He would like more than anything to be able to be upfront with you and shower you in affection and love that you deserve. He sees the way potential suitors behave around you, and while he silences his envy in order to keep watch, he will never stop you from pursuing them if you choose to. He gives his honest opinions when you ask for them, never letting it slip that he hates them and wishes they’d just leave. He makes detailed files and potential pros and cons for them, never deluding himself into thinking he has a chance with you. Staying by your side is all he will allow himself to do.
For god’s sake, you’re the president’s child. A mere bodyguard like him should not be anywhere close to you like that romantically. It’s simply wrong. He beats it into his brain over and over so he doesn’t reveal how admittedly relieved he is when you reject another potential suitor.
He does wonder why you reject them all, even ones that seem like perfect fits, but he’ll never give himself the hope that it’s because you perhaps like him back. Even if you stare at him too long or ask for his help for everything or request his presence too much, it surely cannot be that.
But you can’t resist him, and when you call for him one night to your room, you finally release the feelings you’ve kept lock and key.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t. It would be inappropriate. I am just a bodyguard and-” his rather poor argument falls apart when you tell him he’s more than just a bodyguard, but your most trusted companion and the man you truly love.
Something within him snaps, but he still tries to remain cool and collected. You kiss him gently and all restraints within him break. For so long he’s desired it, knowing this would surely get him killed by Funny’s hands.
He’s a gentle but passionate lover. His hands move with a grace and fluidity of a man who knows exactly what needs to be done. As if he knows exactly what you need from him at that moment.
Not to brag, but his fingers are truly wonderful and can easily bring you on your knees. His hands are amazing.
He doesn’t talk much during this tryst, merely exhaling into your ear and asking if you are feeling good.
“Ah… there is no greater feeling than your body in mine. Let me lead you to a world of pleasure, my ward.”
Ringo Roadagain
Although polite and caring for your safety, Ringo does not admire your presence at first. Labeling you a ‘conformist’ in his mind, one who simply does as told, who lives in the shadow of your father’s, he writes you off as perhaps another spoiled and coddled person.
However, you see his skill with a gun and his general attitude, and you beg him to teach you how to shoot or defend yourself. He doesn’t mind teaching you, but he wonders if you are actually serious enough about it.
You are determined, even if you’re not the best, and he begins sensing an inkling of that ‘spirit’ within you. It makes him wonder if you are able to surpass the expectations of others and become something greater than you’ve ever imagined.
He doesn’t tell you this, not wanting to be too inappropriate with you, but he hopes you can surpass the others and be the one to kill him and complete his spirit.
After these many training sessions, he does reveal more of his own self and gentlemanly behavior. You are of higher status than him, but he will not treat you like a porcelain object. He expects you to stand strong for yourself as well, lest everything you’ve learned be for nothing.
The feelings he has for you are not something he is ashamed of nor does he deny. It just is. And it takes a real man to acknowledge them head on and do something about it.
His mentality on fairness makes him believe he should not be the one to monopolize your time only. He’ll back off when the other men guard you, as he is not possessive or overbearing towards you. You are your own person, and he will not allow himself to overstep your boundaries.
Ringo is often the one appointed to handle you and any potential suitors, given his nonchalance and calm behavior. Again, he doesn’t think much of that, given you’re your own person, but he has to admit that these ‘boys’ who try and talk to you are a ridiculous bunch.
Ringo isn’t a fool, though, and notices when you are being cheeky or trying to get his attention. It’s not his place to mention it head on, but he does know how you feel.
But you never seem to confess it to him straight, so eventually, when you two are alone and you again try to seem innocent in your flirting, he gives you a serious expression.
“Darling, you’ve got to make up your mind and say what you want with your whole chest.”
The shocked expression on your face makes him chuckle in amusement, but he continues. “You’ve been acting coy for so long around me. I’m surprised your father hasn’t noticed such brazen behavior from you. But if you want to pursue me in a real relationship, you must be honest.”
Honesty is the best policy, and it doesn’t take long before you’re on top of him. Ringo admittedly enjoys the thrill of being with you, as it gives him a high that he cannot replicate elsewhere.
He encourages you in that low voice to make some noise and let him know how he’s doing. He’s not particularly concerned about whether or not Funny catches him or knows. He gets you and a possible battle, both of which spur him on more.
Skilled and methodical. He is not a hungry beast, but it’s as if it’s his life’s mission to get you to scream his name and leave you a heaving mess on the floor.
When you two are finally finished for the night, he makes sure to clean you up and take care of your sore body. But he can’t help himself and leans in to you, quietly whispering into your ear-
“Welcome, darling, to the world of ‘men’.”
Wekapipo
The opposite of practically all these men. He keeps it strictly professional. Does not talk to you. Does not humor you. Does nothing but what Funny asks.
He doesn’t have much else to care for in this life, so he’s just trying to do his job. But you complicate everything. You insist on being a pest and doing almost anything other than what your father wants. He sighs often with you.
Truthfully, you aren’t that bad, but he’s a closed-off man who just wants to live peacefully. Any time you try to casually ask him a question or chat with him makes him act unamused and remind you he is just a guard. Not your friend.
“Please do remember that your father has hired me to keep watch of you. It would be unwise of you to attempt to get close to me, when we have such a difference in title.”
Doesn’t stop you from trying, though, which only frustrates him to no end.
Not to mention, for some god forsaken reason, you always keep attempting to be friendlier with him and ‘reward’ him for his service.
“Why are you giving me this? Do you understand that I am simply just doing my job? I did not take this just for a chance at your gifts. I know my place. You should know yours, too.”
He doesn’t know what to do with the amount of stuff you’ve attempted to give him or insist on doing for him, despite being your guard. He just sighs and leaves it in his room and complain aloud about while internally thinking it’s nice you chose them for him.
Yeah, he’s crashing hard. Although now, you annoy him not because he finds you a nuisance of a ward, but because of how burdensome these feelings are for you. He just wants to get paid and go home, and wanting to have his boss’s child as a romantic partner isn’t exactly in line with that idea.
So he quells it and continues, acting as he usually does- stern, cold, detached, and even more done with your behavior. He feels that if he acts more serious that these pesky feelings will die off and reveal themselves to be nothing more than childish delusions he imagined.
Except it does the complete opposite, where him pulling away makes you come closer, and it makes his heart beat out of his chest knowing how much you care despite him being… well… Wekapipo to you.
Wekapipo denies any and all feelings for you if Magenta brings up how overbearing he is with you. He insists it’s just part of his duty and that he’s doing his job correctly.
Despite his aloofness… he is quite the jealous and possessive man. He hates others getting close to you or wanting to guard you. That’s his job, and if it was so easy that anyone could’ve done it, he would not have been specifically chosen to guard you.
His frustration gets worse when you keep on teasing him or attempting to be coy. He knows what you’re pulling- he’s not an idiot, you know- and he has to hold back from telling you off and kissing your mouth shut.
One day, after you tease him far too much, he pins you down and glares at you. “Have some decency, will you? Really, do you throw yourself at every other man like this? I doubt your father would like to know the stunts you’ve been pulling.”
He lectures, but it’s clear by the way he’s shaking and can barely look you in the eyes just how flustered and angered he is by this. Yes, he wants you, he wants you a lot, damn it, but he can’t do this with you!
And yet you always bring out the worst in him, making him throw caution to the wind as you embrace him and kiss him, making all his pent-up frustration come out.
He doesn’t want to be rough, but admittedly, all this time pining for you while you two engage in this forbidden act makes him lose his mind and all restraints. He wants you, he wants you now, he wants you so bad it’s ridiculous and he cannot contain himself.
He’s on you like a starved man, panting in your ear and cursing himself for falling victim to your charms.
“Damn you… damn my foolishness. You’ll be the death of me! Making me want you like this, begging me to ruin you- you have no idea what you’ve just unleashed. I’ll make sure to set you straight!”
