#blacktransproblems

[theechrysalisamidst]

[theechrysalisamidst]

[theechrysalisamidst]

weighing on my brain.

this month has been so weird.

and since i cant talk about it on social media 

it feels like i’m living in an alternate universe.

and next month the seven month anniversary of my dad’s job being massacred

is the day before his birthday. 

and i feel guilty for being a poor black trans abomination destined for hellfire

that i am not able to get him some grandiose gift

or make it so he doesnt have to continue working at a traumatizing place...

counting down to sunday. 

[theechrysalisamidst]

apparently as long as i can physically take a selfie that somehow proves that im fine/not in danger/not impoverished/facing corona and black cishet violence and hate criming/ while gentrification and unemployment looms over my head like a Titanic iceberg. so that when i do invariably become a hashtag ppl can fake care for 0.000000000000000000000001 seconds 

[theechrysalisamidst]

I should’ve never made social media

[theechrysalisamidst]

Learning that you don’t exist unless you center men in every sphere of your life

[theechrysalisamidst]

Almost died today

[theechrysalisamidst]

I didn’t know I had fans