#blah-blah-biscuits

[seenashwrite]

@raspberrymama mentioned you in a post “stardustparker: ok but this hoe y/n is living her best life in all these fics. can I be her

Except in @seenashwrite fics. 😂 Yaw Naw needs a coma lol

Accurate. I hate her so hard. Seldom do I read of Wyee-H’inne (the “h” is silent) and think “Oh yeah. Plunk my name right the hell in there, that is so me.” Ugh. Lip-nibbling giggly pouty whiny snot. I wish she’d die in a fire. Ceiling optional. #y’all heard me 😉

[seenashwrite]

Stuff for Saturday

Just sharing. Just ‘cause. Just stuff I’m up to & things I spotted lately, for your information on Nash you didn’t ask for file as well as (hopefully) a few snickers. Not the candy bar. I’m not sharing that.  

1. Finishing up a fic for @butiaintgonnaloveem ‘s hilarious challenge. The past two have been heart-grabbers & soul stirrers, so this one’s a gut-buster. May wanna do a bit of preemptive gut-busting to prepare for Nope: Flangst Edition, starring the tall one. #shameless plugs

2. Possibly the best one I’ve seen from the spn_bot yet, because it is nonsensical & yet somehow worthy of plotting:

3. Collecting my thoughts on what seems to have been a well-received idea regarding a hub for alerting the SPN Fam about thievery; I’ve not forgotten, cross my heart. And I’m gonna get back to you specifically, @kayteonline and @saxxxology / @saxxxologymainblog (I followed saxxxology but it’s not letting me tag, if the html trick worked, apologias for a potential double notification #dramatic heaving not surprised sigh)

4. @littlegreenplasticsoldier was not featured on this list, which is a clear indication their research was lacking #fake news

5. Every time Ed Solomon likes a tweet of mine (2 or 3 so far, but who’s counting #I am #it counts), it confirms the #Nash Is Funny Dammit assertion. I feel endorsed. #Ed is not a sponsor #shameless bragging

6. And finally, tangentially related to #5:

[nods]

[seenashwrite]

Hey, girl. It’s smurf-o’-clock. Why don't ya smurf on over?

‘Cause you look mighty smurfy today, holy smurf. Got this nice ‘shroom, with its big smurfin’ head and thick stalk. We can head to my house, get to smurf each other better, maybe you wanna smurf that stalk, see where that smurfs, but then, baby, I gotta be smurf: I’m gonna smurf you so hard, you won’t be able to smurf straight for weeks. And then when we’re done smurfing, girl, Imma hold you tight, but smurfly - or not, whatever’s your smurf, I can get down and smurfy - and whispsmurf sweet smurfings into your smurf, some big, mushroom-sized sweetness for your sweet, sweet smurf. Oh, and you can come with me when I go kick that dick Brainy’s ass, I do that once a week, helps with stress, so.... but then, heh, THEN - we’ll smurf our smurfs silly, take a smurf together, get all that smurf washed off... it’s blue, I mean really smurfin’ blue, it stains, it’s this whole smurfin’ thing, like every mothersmurfin’ day, I’m always at the laundrosmurf, I just... smurf, I hate these smurf-ass white pants! So, yeah, maybe I do smurf off too much, but there’s only one chick around here, my smurfberries ain’t gettin’ any fresher, and can I get some smurfin’ shoes, for smurf’s sakes, godsmurfit, this village is such a shitsmurf---

WAIT! WAIT, @impala-dreamer !  Don’t smurf! Smurf baaaaacckkk!

 ~ Fin ~

---> Why this mothersmurfer got smurfed

Facts no one asked for:

I had to make this in intervals because my eyes kept filling with tears;

Could I have used other faces? Oh. Yeah. Sure. But no;

Originally wanted him holding the ‘shrooms like a bouquet in front of his junk, because, c’mon, those pants aren’t offering support - couldn’t get a clear shot from the Nutcracker scene, though I *did* pull that right hand from some scene where he’s jerkin’ something off his wrist, so, y’know, thematic I s’pose;

I attempted to do some strategic googlin’ for junk-holdin’, came up empty - I wasn’t gonna shoot the googles straight because ugh I don’t wanna imagine what would’ve, um, come up;

I still loathe those sideburns;

Tangentially related, don’t bother searching for “Sam Winchester grabs” because all you’ll get is: head; brother; Dean; books; gun; shotgun; handgun; knife; blade; and Mjolnir, which, I mean, least I got close on the last one;

And also, on an aside, there is a startling number of options available with regard to footie pants for grown-ass men. *Startling*.

[seenashwrite]

Susan.

Nash responds to spn_bot, cont’d

[seenashwrite]

Buoyancy.

Your mouth was so full your cheeks hurt, and that ever-trusty bitch of a gag reflex was threatening to leap into action, all of it causing your eyes to water.

Sam looked down at you and sighed, but it wasn’t out of frustration - more like sympathy, and he proved it with what he said next.

“I wish I could do it for you, I would, it just doesn’t work that way, y’know?”

You nodded. You knew he was telling the truth, he no doubt would. Then you gagged, but fought it off. Good. This was progress. 

The last four times were a hot mess - you’d never get the stickiness or the smell out of your shirt. And that ruined lore book before we’d moved this into the kitchen.... ugh.

“Hang on, hang on - I got another idea. Spit.”

Sam held the plastic mixing bowl under your chin, and you happily deposited the contents of your mouth into it, a shiver running up your spine.

“Bleeechhh,” you muttered.

“Okay, this time, don’t take so much, ease up, and once it’s all in there, don’t think about it----”

Sure. Yeah. Because that’s possible.

“----and tilt your chin to your chest, far as you can----”

“What?!?”

“I’ll help hold your head down, I promise, but gently, just in case you gotta, well, um, you know....”

You did know - the results from pre-mixing bowl strat were still under the towels around your chair.

“And it should float right to the back of your throat, you won’t have to do anything but swallow.” 

“Yeah. Okay. Makes sense,” you replied, doubt still creeping into your tone.

Sam went to the fridge, refilled the glass of orange juice, and spoke as he walked back over. 

“I have to ask, though - how in the world did you not learn how to do this when you were a kid? I mean, not a kid-kid, but... I was able to by the time I was 5 or 6, had to be, Dean just kept cramming til I finally got one down.”

“We don’t all have such loving big brothers. Alright, I’m ready. This time, I’m gonna be tough, I’m gonna fight through it, I’m DOING THIS!”

“YES!” Sam exclaimed, and handed you the glass, though he hesitated before getting in position, asking, “You sure you don’t want to take that clean shirt off? Or maybe switch to water?”

“No way. This cuts the nasty taste, and distracts me from the texture, and hunngh, Jesus wept, the size of it, that’s a whole other topic. I’ll get used to it eventually, but...”

Sam nodded. “Oh, you definitely will. All it is, is practice. Want me to put it in your mouth, get it to the back right from the start?”

“Perfect,” you replied, and opened wide as you could.

“Bottoms up!”

And damn it if he wasn’t right. Gulp of the juice, tilt of the chin, and that huge horse pill of a vitamin floated. One good swallow, and down the sucker went.

“Brava,” Sam said with a chuckle, watching as you guzzled the rest of the juice and shot him a thumbs-up in response.

“And, hey,” he added, “you’re over the hump - think how easy it’s going to be tomorrow morning.”

.

.

.

.

~ ALTERNATE ENDING! ~ (for the legitimately disappointed)

.

.

.

.

“Bottoms up!”

And damn it if he wasn’t right. Gulp of the juice, tilt of the chin, and that huge horse pill of a vitamin floated. One good swallow, and down the sucker went.

“Brava!" Sam exclaimed, then added, “And, hey - you’re over the hump! Think how easy it’s going to be when you're giving me a 'thank you' beej.”

You guzzled the rest of the juice and shot him a thumbs-up in response.

~ Fin ~

This Imagination Sanitation was sponsored by snark. Snark: day or night, your call, it’s a dietary staple. Please ingest responsibly. 

Find an “Imagine” that needs a stern-yet-snarky talking-to?   ◄◄◄ Dazzle me ►►► 

*~* Imagination Sanitation + Other Satirical Sundry Master Post *~*

See Nash (actually) Write:

*~* Main Master List *~* Mobile Master List *~*

Wanna be tagged? Need to be removed? Check this out first to see which of my three tag lists you’d like to be part of / removed from - then hit me up!

.

Orig post [x]  h/t @butiaintgonnaloveem

[seenashwrite]

Hammer Time.

“Y-you want me to..... Dean, what?”

“He said I could redecorate forever ago. I’ve yelled my head off, telling him I just wanted to spend some quality brother time with him, I got my hammer, and now he’s run off. So I need you to help me find some nails, and-----”

“‘Hang in there’?” you read aloud, gazing in near-wonder at the framed poster in the hand that didn’t hold the hammer. 

“-----then stand over here and tell me if it’s straight.”

“Are you high? Did he pull that blood from somebody doing poppers?” After a pause, you turned your head, screamed down the hallway. “SAAAAAM!”

“Don’t waste your breath. And, maybe? Got me. I just know I’m doing this before I go, I’d planned it as a joke, never got around to it, and after tonight, he’s earned it.”

“Even the kitty is confused by this. Shouldn’t you be threatening me or, or, or, being all hey I’m a sexy demon dude, come and get some of this sweet lovin’----”

“My soul got warped. Not my brain. You’re like my sister. Plus, you’re packing heat, I can see the outline of the flask in your pocket - I get close enough and you’ll douse me.”

“Fair point. Still. You get that poster hung, then what?”

“Eh. I dunno. How long does blood take to cycle around, get replaced by new cells?”

“Well what’s doing the bippidy-boppity-boo? Plasma? Red blood cells? White?”

Dean shrugged.

“SAAAAAM!”

He rolled his eyes, saying, “What’d I just tell you?” He paused briefly, a little shudder going across his shoulders. “Ooh. Hey. Something might be wearing off. Gettin’ kinda pissed.”

“Oh, you got pissed at me that fast before all this, it’s not news. And you’re screwed for anywhere from 24 hours to like, a month as far as the blood goes.”

“So, wha.... I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do til then!?”

You considered this, glanced around Sam’s room.

“I bet the Martha Stewart Living website’s got some ideas.”

“And he’s acting like I’m the monster. Damn.”

This Imagination Sanitation was sponsored by snark. Snark: day or night, your call, it’s a dietary staple. Please ingest responsibly.

Find an “Imagine” that needs a stern-yet-snarky talking-to?   ◄◄◄ Dazzle me ►►►

*~* Imagination Sanitation + Other Satirical Sundry Master Post *~*

See Nash (actually) Write:

*~* Main Master List *~* Mobile Master List *~*

Wanna be tagged? Need to be removed? Check this out first to see which of my three tag lists you’d like to be part of / removed from - then hit me up!

~ The receipts ~

[This Imagination Sanitation was brought to NashHole, Inc. Headquarters with much skipping & delight by the lovely @emilywritesaboutdean. Many thanks, sorry for the delay, I was thinking up that Martha Stewart line.]

Source [x]

[seenashwrite]

O.C. Name Tutorial [that is a lie]

Not a lie: This will mean little-to-nothing to most of you, please do not feel obligated to carry on.

~ ETA: Further Explanation ~

This is regarding the twitchiness some of us develop upon seeing either (a) stupidly spelled and/or generally ridiculous names for O.C.s, particularly (b) when applied to the children of one Sam and/or Dean Winchester. 

Because of course people named “Sam” and “Dean” who are the progeny of “John” and “Mary”, who were in turn the progeny of “Samuel”, “Deanna”, “Henry” and “Millie” would TOTALLY and REALISTICALLY, at least by a HUGE MARGIN - I’m being majorly flippant, there, in case you couldn’t tell - name their children shit like Chandelier and [see above] McKhynleigh and Pollyanna-Chrysanthemum or what-the-damn-ever. 

No. No, they wouldn’t. I find it shrug-worthy, unsurprising, not notable or double-take warranting that people named Jensen & D*nneel, for instance, would name their kids J*stice and Arr*w and Z*ppelin. I do not find it realistic that Dean would name his kid Brittani-with-an-”i” or Anastasya-hyphen-Lisbeth. Staaaaahhhhp it.  

[PS: the * are for blacklist purposes; I have those names blacklisted, myself, because I am not interested; this post is funny, so I’d hate for anyone with a sense of humor to miss out on it due to same. I’m just sayin’.] 

More vids from this genius dude below..... 

@butiaintgonnaloveem - There are *tears* rolling down my cheeks... I have found the leader of our tribe! I just.... some of them, he’s being silly about, but oh... ohhhhhh the sweet melt-in-your-mouth num-nums on some of these.... 

“There are easier ways to spell ‘Your father and I hate you’.”

[Nash gasps, totes out of breath] The commentary, I just.... listen, I’ll never write this well, his snark is so far out of my league.

Wait.... wait wait wait.....This next one? Full-tilt, I’m-not-lying, level 12 spit-take warning, it caught me off guard and I regret it so very much:

“Ridge smokes Marlboro reds and generally prefers his horse to motorized travel, although his Softail gets him everywhere ol’ Sammy can’t go. And with the exception of monthly trips to town for groceries, there just ain’t too damn many places Sammy can’t go......”

“Hey Merlyssa! Get over yonder and fetch sum merlasses fer yer flapjacks!”

“Unreal. Take everything I just said about Johnythen, multiply it by 5,000, and apply it to this abortion.......”   

Oh, and PS: Kharringtyn-McKhynleigh Khaybryn’s sister is Khayleigh-Huntyr Madisyn and they have a little brother, Kheestyn-McKhormyck Dallas. Their parents are Casey and Leann. Their grandparents were/are Nancy, Dennis, Pat and Sam. Yes, I googled, no disappointment to report. Gramma Nancy is awesome.  

This has prompted me to re-post “The Tale of Dean's Daughter MacRyeleighaynnabeau” in an official, formal, very serious post. I just need the perfect gif. If I can concentrate enough. 

[seenashwrite]

Twofer.

........to light the pyre without thoroughly checking your pockets.

It was 2-for-1 night at Buford’s Boobies & Brews - the beer, not the hooters.

And you had the keys.

~ Fin ~

This Imagination Sanitation was sponsored by snark. Snark: day or night, your call, it’s a dietary staple. Please ingest responsibly.

Find an “Imagine” that needs a stern-yet-snarky talking-to?   ◄◄◄ Dazzle me ►►► 

*~* Imagination Sanitation + Other Satirical Sundry Master Post *~*

See Nash (actually) Write:

*~* Main Master List *~* Mobile Master List *~*

Wanna be tagged? Need to be removed? Check this out first to see which of my three tag lists you’d like to be part of / removed from - then hit me up!

Source [x]