#blas 175

[meowisaurusrex]

I am from assignment comparison Oct '13 VS Mar '14

THE FOLLOWING WAS WRITTEN OCTOBER 2013

I am from standing in the kitchen with mom making mini lasagna out of the ripped noodles.

I am from Mom filling the role of dad too.

I am from inner district transfers and no neighborhood schools.

I am from mud and grass pies made in the yard.

I am from teaching Brandy to walk the ledge of the porch and dog loyalty.

I am from drinking out of the hose.

I am from “let’s snuggle” “turn over” and “snuggle my back”.

I am from camping at Thousand Trails and sharing pull out beds, roasting marshmallows over a campfire and watching “Billy Madison” every time, without fail.

I am from being left in the car with Casper as my protector.

I am from late nights crying and self-soothing with gentle strokes of a razor blade.

I am from best friend cousin like a sister.

I am from Christmas mornings with eggs benedict with extra hollandaise and showing off favorite gifts.

I am from listening to stories of grandma Aline demanding things at restaurant staff.

I am from “I love my cat so much I want to marry him”.

I am from “I won’t be coming to Christmas/Thanksgiving this year” it’s easier to be alone than to feel alone amongst family.

I am from butter toast and Maury marathons.

I am from words said in anger and hurt feelings.

I am from sleep over at Aunt Gail’s, swimming in the pool, staying up too late and breakfast with Bob’s Big Boy seasoning.

I am from Pepsi over Coke.

I am from zucchini cake in Bundt pans generously dusted with C&H powdered sugar.

I am from unspoken words and knowing I am the “black sheep”.

I am from family unity in times of crisis.

THE FOLLOWING WAS WRITTEN MARCH 2014

I am from sunny San Diego born and raised.

I am from “Do you have a dad?!”

I am from calling my mother by her first name (and it being totally okay).

I am from inner district transfers and no neighborhood schools.

I am from “I don’t live near here”.

I am from silent tears and showing no outward emotion.

I am from “let’s snuggle” “turn over” and “snuggle my back”.

I am from camping at Thousand Trails and sharing pull out beds, roasting marshmallows over a campfire and watching “Billy Madison” every time, without fail.

I am from being left in the car with Casper as my protector.

I am from big family get togethers focused around what is most important, the food.

I am from having a cousin like a best friend and sister to never speaking a word to one another.

I am from Christmas mornings with eggs benedict with extra hollandaise sauce and Martinelli’s sparkling cider.

I am from “I won’t be coming to Christmas/Thanksgiving this year” it’s easier to be alone than to feel alone amongst family.

I am from quiet but clear sexism.

I am from having a niece and nephew older than me and a sister old enough to be my mother.

I am from being allowed to experiment in the kitchen and play in Mom’s make up.

I am from letters to the parole board signed ‘Lenore Barnhill, sister of the deceased’

I am from words said in anger and hurt feelings.

I am from financial secretary mother saying math is easy because its either right or wrong, and for me it was always wrong.

I am from sleep over at Aunt Gail’s, swimming in the pool, staying up too late and eggs sprinkled with Bob’s “Big Boy” seasoning.

I am from do they have that is a bigger size?

I am from zucchini cake in Bundt pans generously dusted with C&H powdered sugar.

I am from unspoken words and knowing I am the “black sheep”.

I am from “you can’t wear that to church” and disapproving looks.

I am from first in my immediate family to go to college.

I am from rolled eyes at the mention of taking a black studies class.

I am from family unity in times of crisis.

My name is Lenore and I am a reflection of you

[meowisaurusrex]

BLAS 175 - Journal 3

This is what I submitted for my jornal #3 assignment - yes I did submit it incomplete because I wanted it to be on time and I didn't want the professor to think that I hadn't done ANYTHING - I am going to continue working on it tonight and I will submit to her the final versions via email as soon as I get them done (for hope she will grade it more favorably) 

The prompt for this assingment was: As comprehensively and thoroughly as possible, please summarize the identities that make you who you are, being certain to include your sex and racial or ethnic identities, but you must include at least 3 (more than 3 is fine) other identities that are important aspects of how you see yourself. Discuss which parts of you are associated with privilege and which have typically devalued, including your own experiences, including any feelings this discussion elicits and your relationships as impacted by these identities. Please reference/apply at least three course concepts. This essay should be no longer than 700 words, using good grammar and vocabulary. LATE SUBMISSIONS WILL BE PENALIZED 10% FOR EVERY DAY BEYOND THE DUE DATE. NO PAPER WILL BE GRADED AFTER DEC 11.

The identities I have chosen to analyze are: female, bi-ethic, Christian, mentally ill, student/learner, sex positive, black sheep, and ally.

Female: I am a cisgender female meaning that I identify with my gender assigned at birth (I was born female and identify as female). Generally, in our society being female is devalued and associated with being inferior, feeble minded, weak, and often times “in need of the assistance of a man”.

Bi-ethnic: I am a bi-ethnic person; my mother is Caucasian and my absent father is African American. I do not truly identify with either group but I am including it because it is a requirement of this assignment. I grew up in a relatively ethnically diverse family (Caucasian, African-American, Mexican, Native American, etc.) and grew up with my mother in a predominantly African American and “black” (by definition of non-white) community in San Diego, but I would not consider my family culturally diverse (very much “white American”/Caucasian culturally). Throughout school I did not fit in with the African American kids and was often called “white washed” (by my African American friends) because of my clothing and music choices. In American culture, being anything other than white is immediately less privileged and undervalued/devalued.

Christian: I identify as Christian on the side of general “Christ follower” rather than by RELIGION. In Christian communities that I have been I have found that I am generally uncomfortable and have opposition to some of their ideas, teachings or the ways in which they do things. An example of this would be that I am a strong supporter of the QUILTBAG (also known as LGBT) community while most Christians and church interpretations of the bible consider homosexuality a sin (and often times deem it more “unacceptable” than other sins – What happened to “… but all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God” and “… first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.”). Christianity is looked upon as being an acceptable and dominant religion in the US and is usually valued highly – especially over other religions such as Muslim or those who do not follow a religion such as atheists and agnostics.

Mentally ill: While I do not like the connotation label of mentally ill, I do acknowledge that the fact that I have depression, anxiety, have a history of self-injury and deal with frequent suicidal type ideations, etc. would classify me by most if not all people as mentally ill/ mentally unstable. Most people when asked what they think of someone who is mentally ill would throw out words such as unstable, crazy, unorganized, psychotic, dangerous, etc. Being mentally ill is extremely devalued and stigmatized and in my experience most people are very unsure of how to react when they find out that someone they know or someone they are close to has mental illness.

Student/learner:  I currently am in college and thus would consider myself a student. I have been in college for about four and a half years since Fall of 2008 and so the title of student has occupied a lot of my time regardless of how I did academically in classes. Even outside of formal school I consider myself a learner; I enjoy reading new and interesting things, researching, having healthy and thought provoking debates and conversations. Despite considering myself a student and a learner I am for the most part unsatisfied with my academic progress and achievements (or lack thereof?). Being a student is a privilege as I recognize not everyone has the opportunity to be able to attend even K-12 school, much less college.

Sex positive: I proudly consider myself sex positive and a “sex nerd” (comes primarily from the Sex Nerd Sandra podcast). Wikipedia defines sex positive by defining sex positive movement “… a social movement which embraces open sexuality with few limits beyond an emphasis on safe sex and the importance of informed consent. Sex positivity is "an attitude towards human sexuality that regards all consensual sexual activities as fundamentally healthy and pleasurable encourages sexual pleasure and experimentation…”.” 

If you have any feedback for me feel free to share :)

[meowisaurusrex]

If I were an intersex Asian-American ...

So I successfully finished "Journal 1" for my psycho-history of racism and sexism class. I am kinda unsure about it though... I hope I get a good grade. 

The assignment was : 

Using your best writing skills, complete sentences and appropriate vocabulary, please respond thoughtfully and in a detailed essay to the following:

Imagine that you have suddenly become a different race AND a different biological sex or gender than you currently are. How would your life story be changed? Consider your relationships, your personal history, your expectations for your own future. Think about the stereotypes you have heard and /or believed about yourself and others? How would you be different, and what's your reaction as you consider the new reality this assignment would actually generate for you? Please choose your words carefully, as this essay should be no more than 500 words, and must be submitted as an attachment, using the Blackboard link provided for this assignment. Be sure to state your "actual race" and gender, as well as the imagined identities. Remember that biological sex and gender are NOT the same thing. A well-written, thoughtful, well-reasoned and analytical essay can earn as much as 30 points. This assignment is due by Wednesday, October 30, before midnight. Late submissions will be penalized 5 points for each day overdue. No essay will be accepted after midnight on Friday, November 1.

I think I kind-of misunderstood something because I wrote it as if I was born this person, rather than if I SUDDENLY became them. 

I wrote my journal from the perspective of an intersex Asian-American. 

For those of you that care to read it - here is my paper/journal:

I am an African-American cis-gendered female. I will be attempting to write this journal as an intersex Asian-American.

I am stereotypically expected by American society, to be naturally smart and good at anything in the academic arena and be a “nerd” whose hobbies include studying, chess, Matheletes, and science club. My teachers and classmates always expect me to have the correct answer, and to be the perfect student in academics and citizenship. My parents also have very high expectations of my academic and social performance, to my parents anything less than a 4.0 is slacking, and even that is considered acceptable, not exceptional, “Why just an A! … Wasn’t there extra credit?!” is something I hear frequently at home. My family and culture is always pushing me to pursue excellence and achievements before pursuing my passions. If my life path does not include top colleges and a high salaried career something is assuredly “wrong”. I quickly let my dreams of traveling and being a freelance musician go. I acknowledge that I am treated differently than my sisters. I am rarely questioned when I arrive home at 2 and 3 AM as long as I am up and ready for school the next morning while my sisters that are both within two years of me have a strict 8:45 pm curfew. I am always given an extra portion of meals while my sisters are encouraged to eat less, rarely allowed to have seconds and discouraged from indulging in dessert; they need to stay beautiful and thin after all, no man is going to want to marry a fat woman. While I work hard and excel at school and socially my parents have always been ashamed of me because I was born as intersex. Even now, there is an unspoken tension and disapproval, like I chose this?! My parents reluctantly decided to forego an operation to clearly assign my sex; even though doctors pushed them to agree to have me assigned as female. The idea of having a first born daughter was distasteful. I have always been raised as a male and have been taught to never let anyone know any different for fear that I would be completely shunned, even my sisters are unaware of this “biological mix up” as the doctors call it. The fact that my genitals don’t “match” what I should be and what I pretend to be has kept me from pursuing romantic relations. I have accepted that my best chance is to graduate top of my class and have a successful career. 

I think it is... good, considering I wrote it in less than 40 minutes - but still its not as good as I want it to be. 

I am just hoping that my professor doesn't read it and think that I personally hold these stereotypes of Asian-Ameicans or intersex people... I'd feel really bad. 

Anyways, I'd love to hear your feedback!!!

[meowisaurusrex]

First BLAS 175 assignment

Its an "I am from essay/poem" ... I like the idea but I feel like don't have enough time to get it to be where I want... I might post it later.