#blesstask

[yeahjonny-blog]

In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials,  so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor (1 Peter 1:6–7)

what is jonny grateful for? || graduation task, part i

even if he did have one of the highest gpa and participations, jonny knew he would never be selected to speak at the graduation ceremony. clique hierachy had no place for official events. but, it was only natural for the grand and gregarious to be slotted in instead. 

a may evening, californian dry heat wafting through the crevice that was jonny’s bedroom window. graduation cap carefully placed on his desk. meanwhile, the accompanying gown was hung in his wardrobe. its fate unknown to him. 

it wasn’t like jonny couldn’t talk. public speaking was never a skill he had the chance to develop, but he still preferred small groups over crowds or conversations with single people. he always has something to say. he just...thought it was intrusive to share, could always tell (or rather, assumed) his presence wasn’t worth it. 

but on this bed of his, cross-legged and content expession, with a brand new leather bound notebook, there was an absolute desire to share, to overshare. 

at first, he just wrote a list. scrawling the capitals, unusually flowing. 

WHO WOULD I BE TODAY? — WITHOUT 

MR. TURNER FOR HIS HELP WITH SAT READING COMPREHENSION 

MOM BEING WELL

ORLANDO KEEPING ME EMPLOYED

HAPPY TENTH GRADERS - refreshing sight

CHURCH KIDS WHO LIKE LEARNING KOREAN

his eyebrows unclenched. the pen he was holding, no longer pressed tightly, as his grip on writing tools usually were. it was thrown onto his quilt. he still held the book, rereading the words he’d just produced. 

what does the word XAVIER mean to me. he remembers his face’s winter scruff. the mets baseball caps. the ride on shoulders. screaming in his backyard. yelling when tickled. no more. 

who is GYEONG-CHUL? a printed name on a screen, bank transfers. a tired voice, muffled by cables and internet connection. half-siblings, half-this, half-that, half-related, half-with him, half-not at all. inherited nose, inane conversation. 

and then PAMELA. clipboard and continuously slipping glasses. no stereotypical couch to lay on. a dimpled smile. weary expression, is everything going to be okay? of course, of course. your mom is strong. i know, thank you, pam.

these were the thoughts he never listed. 

jonny ripped the page and scrunched it up. threw it to the bin. of course it went in. 

he gave an inaudible groan as he lulled his head up, scanned the ceiling, trying to penetrate the cream beige for a better blue. that was when he realised whom he did not thank. 

[yeahjonny-blog]

❛   quiet is violent   ❜

a collection of   (   five.  )  anecdotes

m i s p r o n u n c i a t i o n

“young-man?” that was probably the worst butchering of his name yet.

no one responds to an unfamiliar name. thirteen boys and a stick-thin coach stand in silence. only a huffing echoes—jonny’s sigh.

his faint voice corrects. the response almost involuntary. “it’s jonny.”

d i s r e s p e c t     @    a u t h o r i t y    f i g u r e s

middle school is tough for everyone. jonny just kept his head down. he was still new at the time, no friends ‘cause he towered over everyone. “ms. yoo is such a bitch. who says that to a student? we were just chillin’ right, man?” he hears while attending to his locker. his hunched shoulders automatically elevate. he slams his locker. he slams the speaker.

with the impact of face on locker, jonny gapes at his hands;

he runs;

his look of horror doesn’t disappear.    

a s s h o l e     a t h e i s t s

— NEXT —  

even at a school like this, the cafeteria workers sound like a poor salary and treatment. they had no obligation to return the smile jonny had flashes, but there was a sinking within him when they do not. they don’t have to, yet jonny is still disappointed. he didn’t know why it was like that, that felt irrational. “god bless you,” he adds with a nod after being served. he gently pushes his tray across and stops to pay. “like, i’ll never understand why all the religious weirdos insist on it? they’re trying to convert the rest of us or something. i don’t know about you, but who cares about their old man in the sky. do they really expect their souls to float out and away, not actual death?” they used a hushed tone, but their volume certainly doesn’t reflect that. “i’d expect this in some redneck district but here? in heffes? we’re all way too civilised and like, post-modern for that. for crying out loud, they're absolute babies about everything. god, I’m so infuriated by their existence you know? they’re just..wrong and juvenile about it.”

the end of their monologue is signalled by their accomplice’s giggle. jonny could only grit his teeth while shaking the ketchup bottle, furious at a two whom he never made eye contact with.   

g a m b l i n g

“what are you looking at, chris?” a wide-eyed jonny asks, putting his morning gale cafe apron on. “i bet you five bucks that lady over there is going to spill her drink with that shaking arthritis thing going on.” he laughs, mildly but with heart. “no.” jonny’s jaw is locked. “leave her alone.” “j e e z, j-man. it’s nothing. the fuck is up with you?”

{ a l o n e     i n     h i s     r o o m }

what’s wrong

he’s leafing through journals, notebooks filled with doodles and words of a distant despondent time.

he looks to the door, expecting a figure. silly him. no, the voice was his—and it only ever was. 

who listened to what he had to say? 

not just, hear — acknowledge, comprehend, understand. who? who? just, who? 

was he always going to be a priest holed up in a confession box, cranking up excuses for sinners? 

could he ever be the one that slipped past a cathedral door, ensconcing themselves into that box, exhaling before releasing. 

what’s wrong 

a click of a pen. a swirl of its ink. i don’t know. 

[cliftonthecreator-blog]

Your Muse Got A Short Fuse?

Clifton has a temper. It’s simple as that. When he’s mad at you, you know it, and if he thinks he’s been wronged, he won’t give up til everything is right in his eyes. Although he’s generally a mellow guy, especially with his younger siblings, if he feels like he’s being ignored, he will act out to get attention, even though he is 17 now. Most of his anger is similar to that of a much younger child. Clifton uses his immaturity as a disguise for when he’s upset.

[bridgitbowen]

BlessTask #1: Anger

Hey, Bridgit. I’m just going to ask you a few questions about yourself. Is that okay?

Fine. But keep it short; I need to get back to homework soon.

All right. So, today’s topic is anger. Do you have anything to say about it? (And, by the way, anything we say will just be between you and me.)

...Well, personally, I don’t really get angry with people. Nothing I see these days is ever truly worth wasting those sorts of emotions on, anyway. I think it’s childish not to be able to control your anger, or suppress it, or, ultimately, make it go away. Anger is great--it can show you a lot about who a person really is. I love to see other people’s true colors, because people are generally as dumb as they seem. But as for me, no; expressing my anger like that isn’t my thing.

When’s the last time you got angry?

Uh, let’s see--I think it might’ve been with my mother. A few weeks ago. She was worried that I would be taking too many classes next year, and had forced me to drop AP Computer Science. Little does she know, I didn’t actually drop the course. I think the worst thing I did that day was slam the refrigerator door shut really hard--a couple of eggs in there cracked and exploded. I cleaned it up, then went back to my room to read. End of story.

Wow, you have a lot of self-control. Is your anger as subtle as that all the time?

Haha, I wish. Sometimes, if I’m really pissed off, I’ll start an argument. I’ll say something to someone, someone’s feelings will get hurt, they’ll try to insult me back but fail in doing so, and I’ll just feel a little bit better. That’s usually the way things go.

I’ve noticed that you tend to make fun of people a lot of times.

Being irritated while talking to someone--which is all the time--is different from being, like, sincerely angry. Like I said, I’m not an angsty, attention-needing person. I don’t feel the need to show that something’s turned me upside-down, because I’ll give no one that satisfaction. If you make a mess, you clean it up yourself, and get over it, right?

Right, right. So, if I hypothetically feel like you’re a little pissed off at me, what should I think? What should I do?

Ugh, you’re not as bad as other people in my school, so get over yourself...--Anyway, first, if I’m obviously annoyed at you, you most likely need to shut up. I hate it when people talk too much. But, since 99% of the people I meet don’t shut up, I’ve had to adapt to other means of passively aggressively telling people that I don’t want to talk to them. For some reason, they never work. But whatever. People will be people.

So that’s just one normal, everyday thing. People get used to it. You should get used to it.

As for what you should do, well...just try not to say anything stupid.

Thanks, Bridgit. I’ll try to do what you say. Okay, here’s another one for you: I’ve heard you dislike summer. What’s that all about?

Ugh, please, summer is definitely the worst season to be alive. Not only is it humid and uncomfortable here in California, but there aren’t the regular school days to keep my educational progress on track. And, summer is definitely the time teenagers go wild and think they’re free and unstoppable and invincible, when they’re not. Summer is just another chance for immature teenagers to try prove how fancy and social they are. Most of the time, they fail and end up looking stupid.

What about losing or failing? 

Who does like to lose or fail? Seriously, you need a little bit of common sense.

I’m sorry about that--

Whatever. The thing is, I hate seeing any of my work or effort go to waste. Hate to break it to myself, but losing arguments just sort of sucks. That also goes for failing tests, failing essays, failing assignments--I grew up obligating myself to succeed at everything I do. I’ve never let anything get in my way.

Good. We’re almost done here. What do you dislike about spicy food?

It’s difficult to eat, period. It’s like trying to eat you that’s biting you from the inside, and it’s just, blech. People who enjoy that sort of stuff drive me nuts.

How about dating? I’ve heard that you dislike dating.

Uh...yeah. I do. I loathe it.

Want to tell me more about it?

No. Just like anger, dating simply isn’t my thing.

Okay, Bridgit. That’s all for now. 

Thank goodness. I swear, talking about all that made me just about to slam another refrigerator door--with you in it. Goodbye.

[alfiebonas-archive]

good riddance!: a playlist for the kids who kinda wished, but never thought this day would ever actually come.

i. miley cyrus - the climb | ii. foo fighters - times like these | iii. rusted root - send me on my way | vi. black eyed peas - i gotta feeling | v. new rascals - you get what you give | vi. nicki minaj ft. rihanna - fly | vii. rascal flatts - my wish | viii. cast of rent - season of love | ix. r kelly - i believe i can fly | x. idina menzel from ‘wicked’ - defying gravity | xi. green day - good riddance (time of your life) | xii. nicki minaj - moment 4 life | xiii. my chemical romance - sing | xiv. the wonder years - my last semester | xv. sara bareilles - brave | xvi. natasha bedingfield - unwritten | xvii. fun. ft. janelle monae - we are young | xviii. matchbox 20 - how far we’ve come

[blesstheteensrp-blog]

SENIOR GRADUATION

The ceremony takes place this Friday morning, the 19th.

If you wish, you may write a little something about the ceremony or create anything like a playlist, moodboard, graphic, etc. 

It’s completely optional but if you want to note what went down, how they felt throughout it, you are most welcome to. Save most high school sentimentality for the final task in August when we have our mass exodus of graduates! 

[dominiquestevens-blog]

Oh Mother,

Everything in this house echos. Footsteps, our secrets, our thoughts. It's a space too big for just the two of us, and we hide inside it. All this space, and we can never fill it. Can you hear me though you're sleeping? Can you even hear me when you're awake? You're the most alive doll the world has ever know, but you're still only half conscious. What is morality mother? The head or the heart?  Because I looked it up and all it says is that it's the distinction between right and wrong. There's so much wrong right now.

Who do you blame for the hurt in your life? I thought maybe I could pin the tail to one donkey, but it doesn't work like that. It felt immoral. Do you forgive daddy? Do you still love him the same? Forgiveness is right, but constant forgiveness isn't. That would be blindness, wouldn't it? You're not much of a help, not like this. Too zen, you'd say. Too many Xanax before bed, more likely. Don't you see I need you to talk to you mother? Daddy's gone, probably to Malibu again. I guess we can assume it's not a conference this time. An entire country separating us. He can't face us, that's cowardly. Is being a coward wrong?

What's that mom? What'd you say? You're gonna have to speak up, pills got your tongue.

Your father loves beauty.

It's not his fault, then. He loves you because you're beautiful, and he loves me because I'm pretty, and he loves his job because he makes other people more beautiful. He loved Silas for a little while because  Silas is beautiful as well. That's immoral. It's selfish.

It's how he is, how he always will be.

Beauty fades mother. This feeling, in my chest, it's burning right through. I think it'll last longer than beauty will.

I'm leaving him.

Head or heart?

Head. The heart is the strongest muscle, but the weakest when it comes to reason. He hurt my Domino, my baby girl.

And you can't forgive him?

Not for hurting you.

I still love them both. Love can't be immoral, can it? Love can't be wrong.

No, it shouldn't be. Forgiveness isn't either. Try and forgive them Domino, they love you too.

It's not right to hurt the people you love.

And still, that's all we do.

Everything in this house echoes.. 

[reneenomorely]

Ren Morely in TV Tropes:

Moral Alignment: True Neutral.

True Neutral characters are often times the most difficult to play through a strong misunderstanding of their character. True Neutral is often consideredNature’s Alignment — a character who is neither swayed one way or the other by any decisions outside of a personal force or reason to act. In traditional tabletop campaigns a True Neutral character will neither go out of their way to harm an individual or to save them in a crunch time of crisis. Instead True Neutral characters focus their attention on more personal relationships and the direct effect they have on themselves. While most consider True Neutral characters to be neither on one side or another, it’s more often not the case — they see good, evil, lawful and chaotic as extreme prejudices as opposed to definitions of character.

True Neutral Common Characteristics and their correlation to Ren Morely: (Bold for appropriate behavior)

Diplomatic, judgemental, enigmatic, aloof, distant, self-reliant, mediatory, even-handed, fair, indifferent, impartial.

The 9 TV Tropes that define Ren Morely and True Neutrality

Cunning Like a Fox -- Forgive, But Don’t Forget -- Bonding Over Missing Parents

Misery Builds Character -- What You Are in the Dark -- Sympathy For the Devil

Truth Twister -- Cold Equation -- Passion is Evil