#blind!steve

[unclewaynemunson]

After Vecna is defeated and the world goes back to normal for good, Steve thinks he can get on with his life. And for a while that's exactly what happens: his scars heal and, against everything he would have ever expected, Eddie heals right beside him.

But a year later, his life gets turned upside down in a whole new way. He gets one more hit to the head. It's a stupid accident, really, something involving a broken lightbulb, an old stepladder and an unfortunate fall. He loses pretty much all his sight. His once expressive brown eyes become hollow shells, one staring right ahead and one turned sideways, but both equally useless.

At first, the darkness is scary. It's frustrating, to be robbed of one of the few things he could always rely on. He has to get to know the world around him in a whole new way. There are days when he hates it, days when he wants to stay in bed in his room forever. There are days when he wants to scream, even days when he wants to cut his own eyes out like Victor Creel did before him.

But slowly, little by little, he learns to live with it. He grows a new appreciation for beautiful music and good food, things that stimulate his other senses that he now relies more heavily on. He develops a sharp ear for people's voices and intonations to make up for the loss of seeing their facial expressions. Where he used to love seeing Robin's bright eyes and Dustin's excited smile, he now treasures the sound of Dustin's laughter and the scent of Robin's cologne.

The one thing he will never stop missing, though, is Eddie's face. The way his eyes light up when he smiles. The way his mouth curves into that mischievous grin that Steve once fell in love with. The way his fluffy curls cascade over his back. Those are the things he misses the most.

There's a lot that makes up for that loss: he can cling to Eddie's arm whenever he wants, without having to worry about people taking their affectionate touches the wrong way. He gets to rely on Eddie's helping hand and to bask in Eddie's scent. And, most importantly: he gets to listen to Eddie's voice all the time, when he describes what's happening around them in lively phrases and with passion in his voice like the true storyteller he is.

“Do you know that there's one thing you're always leaving out when you're describing things to me?” Steve asks him one day, when he feels Eddie's hands move through the air around them during his excited monologue about the orange cat that is currently visiting their garden, chasing after butterflies and going after its own tail in the flowerbeds.

“Huh?” Eddie sounds confused.

“You're always leaving out the most important part,” Steve continues. He lifts his hand and slowly moves it to find Eddie's face. He feels his curls underneath his fingertips, then slides them further over Eddie's features.

“What do you mean, Stevie?”

“You never mention how you look. Only what you see. But if I could see, I'd be looking at you, Eddie. I'd watch your face. I can still remember that curve of your mouth, that crease between your eyebrows...” He lets his hand linger on the places he mentions. “But it's all becoming less clear. I'll never see it again. I don't wanna lose that.”

Steve feels his hand getting covered by another one, lets his fingers be guided across Eddie's cheek.

“You won't,” Eddie tells him softly. “There's no way I'll let you lose that.”

Steve can already feel the change in temperature underneath his fingers before Eddie speaks.

“I'm blushing right now, Stevie. Cause of what you said. And...” He guides Steve's hand further down over the uneven skin of his scarred cheek. “I'm smiling. Just a little bit. Not that wide smile I have when I'm messing with you, but the smaller one, the one that's just for you.”

Eddie squeezes his hand before he lets go. A moment later, his lips brush softly against Steve's, something that's not quite a kiss. Steve can feel that Eddie is about to pull back before it becomes anything more, but he presses back into Eddie's space, chases his warm lips with his own, and wraps his arms around Eddie's body to pull him closer.

Kissing is best without looking anyway.

[menatiera]

TS flash bingo - Sight

When Steve got hit by a spell that took his sight, most of the team was horrified. Not Steve, though. After the initial shock, he realized what this meant - a way out of the fight.

So he resigns from SHIELD and starts to re-learn how to appreciate the small things in life, much to his boyfriends’ bafflement. Tony has a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that Steve isn’t devastated by the loss. Bucky isn’t surprised by that - but he’s more than shocked to see that Steve, ball of rage and frustration, is indeed able to learn how to relax step by step. Because if Steve sets his mind to something...

So they move out of Avengers Compound together. Tony and Bucky are still part of the Initiative and have their life there, so they go only as far as the seashore, but all three of them works hard to make the new place truly their home. Two of them helps Steve with the tasks that need eyesight, while Steve happily jumps into the pleasures of other sensory inputs. Feeling the sun on his skin and the sand under his feet, enjoying good food and drinks, listening to nice music or petting their cat may be enough to be at peace. Not to mention cuddling... So much cuddling.

(bingo fill description under the cut)

Title: Sight Collaborator Name: Menatiera Square Filled: Tony Stark Flash Bingo 027 - Sight Link: https://menatiera.tumblr.com/post/630811939729260544/ts-flash-bingo-sight Ship/Main Pairing: Stuckony Rating: Gen Major Tags: retired!steve, blind!steve, happy!steve Summary: Moodboard and summary. Steve goes blind and retires - much to his boyfriends Tony’s and Bucky’s bafflement. @tonystarkbingo​

Title: Sight Square Filled: K3 - Til death do us part Author: Menatiera Pairing: Stuckony Rating: Gen Warnings: retired!steve, blind!steve, happy!steve Summary: Moodboard and summary. Steve goes blind and retires - much to his boyfriends Tony’s and Bucky’s bafflement. Wordcount: 222 Link: https://menatiera.tumblr.com/post/630811939729260544/ts-flash-bingo-sight @buckybarnesbingo​

[starspangledsprocket]

Honestly, Tony was in complete awe. He literally didn't know how Steve did it, because the guy was blind, for fuck's sake, but you couldn't tell, judging by his art. The only thing that really gave it away was his use of colour. Tony had had the privilege of watching Steve work before, and when the blond decided to use colour - and he didn't use it nearly enough, if Tony was being honest - it was always slightly manically, and with abandon.

Steve couldn't identify the colours, see. He couldn't even judge which tube he was picking up, and that meant that he accidentally picked the oddest, most interesting tones and shades to mix and create absolute masterpieces. Portraits in deep purples, Afghan landscapes in fiery reds and black - Steve painted everything and anything that came to mind.

Tony knew Steve drew him, too, but the soldier would never let him see those ones - kept them all shut away in one sketchbook that he stored in the bedside cabinet on his side of the bed. He desperately wanted to know how his boyfriend saw him, of course, but Steve was particularly protective of the sketchbook - said that all Tony needed to know was that he thought he was beautiful - and, despite what people thought, Tony wasn't such a dick that he would purposefully go through the blond's things against his express permission.

That didn't make him any less curious, though.

More than anything, he just wished that Steve could see. The man, in no way, let the condition ruin his life, and Tony thought he might actually burst with pride on a daily basis, but... he saw the way his boyfriend's brow creased every time he missed the fridge handle, and the slump of his shoulders when he had to ask Tony - or get his eye dog ready - every time he wanted to go for a run outside. The man had been a soldier, for God's sake - had obviously taken his sight for granted, just like everyone else on the planet - and he tried his best to stay positive, but the longer Tony knew him, the heavier the burden seemed to become.

They had talked about it just once, at the end of one of Steve's particularly bad days. It wasn't even a particularly bad thing that had set him off - he'd just clipped the coffee table as he'd walked past - but man had he had a meltdown over it. The poor man had tossed the coffee table straight across the room and then sunk to his knees, sobbing. For once in his life, Tony had (rather selfishly) been glad Steve couldn't see him, because he was pretty sure his face had been a picture of shocked panic.

Not really knowing what else to do, he had coaxed the blond back to his feet and into their bed, where he had curled protectively around him and - tentatively - asked him what was wrong.

"I just... I hate it, Tony. I hate it," he'd whispered back, burying his face against Tony's neck. "I try to be positive about it - I try to see it as a second chance, because it could have been so much worse - but I hate that I can't watch baseball anymore, or see your face when we make love, but... I... maybe I deserve it."  

It had been one of those nights. Every once in a while, Steve liked to blame himself for the fact that he had made it through that landmine with just his sight gone, when his second in command - James Barnes - had been instantly killed. Steve had been leading the mission, and thought being blind was penance for leading his men into danger. They couldn't have foreseen it, of course, and it wasn't Steve's fault, but trying to get the soldier to see it that way was damn near impossible. 

"You don't deserve it, baby," Tony had replied, stroking a hand through his hair soothingly. "Nobody deserves this."

Steve had cried himself to sleep that night. 

---

When he finally did find a way to repair the damage done to Steve's retinas, Tony was actually a little hesitant to tell him. He didn't want the man to think he didn't adore him just the way he was, after all, or view him as broken, because he absolutely wasn't. He just wanted Steve to be happy, after all. 

There was also a small, tiny part of him that was worried Steve would take one look at him and realise that he wasn't nearly good enough for him, and - despite how selfish that was - Tony really didn't think he'd be able to cope with the other man's rejection. Not now he'd let himself fall so hopelessly in love with him. 

In the end, though, all it took was one more of Steve's bad days to break his resolve, because he really couldn't stand seeing the man he loved so desperately sad. Sure, Steve had been a bit resentful at first - as he had expected - but he had actually warmed to the idea pretty quickly, and Tony had breathed a sigh of relief at a job well done. 

But, now, a few hours before the surgery, he was beginning to have second thoughts. 

"Steve," he murmured, leaning over to take the man's hand where it rested on the hospital bed he'd already been settled in, "I just want you to know, baby, that if this doesn't work -"

"Why wouldn't it work?" Steve cut him off with a bemused, excited grin. "I know it's experimental, Tony, but I trust Dr. Craft, and I trust you. Besides, it's not like it could make me more blind." 

Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Tony took a deep breath, then continued, "I know, I know. I'm just saying, if it doesn't work, I love you no matter what, okay?"

"It's going to work, Tony," Steve told him stubbornly. 

Honestly, by the time they wheeled him away for surgery, Tony was pretty sure he was praying it would work harder than Steve was.

---

The following couple of hours were hell. Tony paced up and down the hallway, not really sure what to do with himself or the restless energy surging through his body. He was pretty sure he was annoying the nurses, but he really didn't care - he was too worried. 

Finally, after eight full hours, the surgeon appeared - looking exhausted, but otherwise showing no emotion - and told him that, theoretically, the surgery had been a success, but that they wouldn't know for sure until Steve woke up. Tony just nodded - unable to speak - and then followed the nurses as they wheeled Steve up to his private room. 

It took a further couple of hours for him to wake up. 

Tony, of course, was at his side immediately, having buzzed for the doctor already. Taking Steve's hand, he kissed it gently, and then brushed his bangs away from where they hung over the bandages covering his eyes.  

"It's okay, baby," he murmured softly. "I'm right here. Doctor's on his way."

"Okay," Steve whispered back, squeezing Tony's hand. "Love you."

"I love you, too," he replied sincerely, nodding at the doctor as he entered the room. "So, so much, honey." 

"Well, Mr Rogers, looks like this is the moment of truth," the doctor told him, and Tony reluctantly let go of Steve's hand so the man could get to his face. "Any pain?"

"Bit of a headache, but I think that's the sedative still wearing off," Steve replied, and the doctor hummed in agreement. 

"Okay, well, here we go. Everything will be a little bright to start with, but it should even out over the next couple of hours."

Tony held his breath - and didn't comment on the fact that Steve was doing the same - as the doctor reached out and began to peel the bandages back. Steve was absolutely still, and he couldn't tell what the man was thinking, until - as the last bandage came off - he inhaled sharply. 

"S-Steve?" he tentatively asked, not sure if he wanted to know what was going on, but then the soldier span around and looked at him - really, truly looked at him - for the first time since they had met.

"You're even more beautiful than I pictured you," Steve whispered.