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EP#14 HEART OF STONE (NICK W.)

asdfgghjkhjgfssd final five!!!! Simon played his idol on me last round... iconic! i'm feeling like a huge target in this game, but i feel like i've engineered it in a way that means people would be silly to come for me considering the other people still around. I jumped the pecking order by leaving Christine, Isabelle and Nick W in the game and going after Callie and Masen. Simon and Jeremy are now set in stone that Nick W and Connor would win in a FTC so hopefully they're going to be sticking by me for a while. We just learnt it's a F2 tho....... Just when I though I had it all figured out!! I feel like I'm in an okay position though?? like, Jeremy would take me maybe and so would Simon if he was trying to be like an honourable player or whatever. It's so weird thinking about the end of the game coming closer bc I really have no idea how i'm coming across to the Jury.. like.. I've been called a flip-flopper, but people have spent the last few rounds trying to take me out.. do i even have a shot at all?? Regardless, i have to play the best game I can at this point - using other people to get ahead and not fall into the background. Simon's ego is pretty huge atm and he's the one playing the middle so I need to remind the jury that I'm the one in control. Admittedly I have been a bit relaxed lately knowing that idol after idol was coming my way. That has to stop though because i need to stay consistent - I've been playing hard since very early on in this game and I'm so close that I can't stop now! For now my targets are Connor and Nick W, because if either of them made it to the end I can see them walking all over me because people would do nothing but insult me for being too wishy-washy. I wonder if there's a way i can remedy that perception? I kinda have two options: play loyal to the end and stick by Jeremy and Simon no matter what, or get my hands dirty and try to get to F2 with Jeremy... Sigh idk I was happy to go to F3 with Simon bc it'd be a good fight, but now I'm not sure if I made it F2 against him I could win? The superfan in me wants to duke it out player against player, but the veteran in me wants to just lock in the win.. I guess I have a while to make up my mind, or maybe my decision will be made for me! First up, I have to make it there - I realise how important it is to keep my head out of the clouds bc we're getting down to wire... whew.. Never thought I'd come this far!

WHO IS READY FOR A CONNOR COMPLAINING CONFESSIONAL!!!! i'm literally. all my plans have changed because 1. sole is STILL!!! HERE!! and 2. it's a final 2 so literally i will die. i have no idea if i'll even make final four at this point. i was so confident and that lasted for about .2 seconds. and so, i was like oh man it would make a lot of sense to vote me the fuck out because that'll mean sole, nick w or simon win and i think they know that. tbh at this point jeremy can not win and if he does i will deny any involvement that i had with this season because i will be ashamed. i just. sole or nick just need to go. if either of them go next i'll be in at leat f3 i think. I THINK!!!! oh my goddddddd and then!!! anD THEN!!!! i legit love nick w (not like actually) but the more i've gotten to know him the more i like him and NOW!!! i keep having to debate if i let him stay here because i like him OR if i vote him out because he will!!! beat me!!!! he is too good!!! he has such a great story!!!! oh my god!!!! also like first few days of merge i said mean shit about him in confessionals which i now feel really bad about and gOD and then, if and when he goes, WHEN DOES HE GO? like f5 would be ideal because if jeremy simon and sole vote for him i can throw a vote onto jeremy and tel them it was because i promised him i wouldn't write his name down (which is true) and then maybe they won't get too pissed??? but i also feel pretty good in thinking that nick would bring me past final 4 or at least tie it to let me fight to stay. i think he would. i hope he would. i would. i just i feel like i have lost all control that i had and SIMON!!! playing an idol on SOLE!!! after an hour long call of us talking about how sole NEEDS to go out at final five because if he made it any further he WILL!!!! WIN!!!! oh my GOD!!!! WHYYYYYYYYYYY SIMON WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY jesuSSSS. UGH!!IJÏ´€IOW GOD. like. it's a great move and seeing as he hadn't made too many moves post merge it looks GREAT to jury. but he could, and may have, screwed his own game in the process. i need a nap

i'm literally so happy to be at this point into the in the fiNAL FIVE!! people told me i deserved to go further in palawan and now here i am pretty diddly darn far and my game is faLLING APART!!!! i've come too far to go out at 5, damn it. too much time, too many emotions, and too much stress for fifth place. i'm annoyed and of course, me knowing i can go soon, messes up an hour into an immunity challenge that is super duperity duper important. iconic!!!

im legit the biggest flop CHRISTINE AND ISABELLE GOING BACK TO BACK IS THE UGLIEST THING EVER KNOW THAT KNOW THAT THIS UGLY @SS MENINIST SEASON ARE YA'LL EVEN PLAYING FOR THE FANS OMGGGG i hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hatehate hatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehate everything atm so https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkPiCYwi538 "thanks a lot dan/sole/what ever the fuck your name is" "thanks a lot goat, i mean jeremy" "thanks a lot simon" nOW ITS JUST ME AND CONNOR AND SOLE WON FUCKING IMMUNITY AND SIMON WOULD HAVE VOTED HIM OFF AND NOW IM LEGIT FIIIIGGGHHHHTTTTING TO STAY HERE i hate hate hate it. connor and i discussed targetting simon but like that will ever work. it defs wont. so i gotta turn my back on connor, which i know he has done as well. so not to big of an issue there all im trying to tell simon especially is that HE can not win with both jeremy and dan here. dan is simply using him for a vote, and will take jeremy to the end. thats a fact. dan is an amazing player and i give him all the credit in the world, however, i am speaking WAAAYYYYY to highly if he choses to take out me over connor. BECAUSE - connor has played a better game then me. kNOW THAT - connor has crafted blindsides, lead alliances, played an amazing under-dog game - he WILL win if sole doesn't wind up in the finals. the only way connor can lose is if sole is sitting next to him in the f2 if dan choses to take me out, that will be an emotional response. he'll think it's smart, but it's not. and im not just saying that coz im me. if he choses to keep me, im and easy beat. callie is convinced i bullied her and is probs giving me bad rep on that jury. all i got going for me on that jury is isabelle and christine. even christine might not vote for me yieks idk for simon, if he was smart would take out connor. i know he wants to take out sole, but connor has the second best chances of winning. idk if i could beat him, but idk if he could beat me either, but i'd much rather him think he could beat me. SOOOOOO im just gonna use ma magic and see what i can do. this could very well be my last confessional and i might cry if it is coz yeah this game has been amazing. i have enjoyed it so much, and i just feel so privelleged to play! yay okay bye

ALSO, CONNOR KEEPS GETTING SYMPATHY FROM FUCKIN SIMON AND DAN N SHIT, coz he keeps crying to them ON CALLLLLL and like MESSIN G G WITH THEIR EMOTIONSSSSS. but thts so unfair omg coz i have a heart of stone and like no emotion ever im basically a robot, i can't make people feel sympathy for me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how do i do it !!!!!!! im reachin out for anything rn i might picking up some praying techniques like ill do anything at this point. hmu pls

#INB4 I get idoled out tbh.

I won immunity!! F4 is a BIG deal~ but for now i need to concentrate on doing what's best for my game at this vote. Winning immunity again so close to the end makes the target on my back even bigger, but it's put me in a good place to start up dialogue with the people who were coming for me last round. I need to do what's best for my game, and that doesn't necessarily translate to wondering how the jury will vote because I'm not going to pretend like I know how that'll go. In my mind, I need to do what will guarantee me an extra day in the game come the F4 if the situation gets dire - and rn that means Nick W has to go. This is the home stretch. The announcement that there'll be a F2 instead of a F3 makes this a little more complicated, so every decision counts. I'm here to win and I've invested too much in this to let it slide and I just don't feel confident keeping my life in Nick W's hand if it came down to it. One step at a time!

I am so close i can taste the prize money in my hand!! Just three more people gotta go. And by three i mean nick w them sole then connor. Me and simon came in here as these under dogs and now we have a good shot at being final 2

asjfskdaghjdfksdjfk I JUST WON IMMUNITY AGAIN I'm still in shock........ Final 3!!!! with great power comes great responsibility - and i have a responsibility to get myself to the end of this game. I just need to figure out the best way to do it. Right now it seems simple enough, but winning this last immunity puts the world's biggest target on my back. Simon, Jeremy and I have had a deal for a while so Connor SHOULD go home.. but now that I'm a much bigger threat, Simon and Connor might team up and force a tie 2-2 against Jeremy. If that happens, Jeremy and Connor will face off in a tiebreak and Jeremy will probably lose. If that happens, I'll go into F3 with two people who will take each other and I'll have to rely on another immunity win to make it to the F2. Honestly, it wouldn't be bad move on Simon's part because he'd probably make FTC either way - but honestly that would make him the weakest player left in the game and he probably wouldn't win in the end anyway. So, I need to convince Simon that keeping Connor is the worst decision we could make rn. This is the closest I've ever been to the end, so I need to make every move count. I feel like I've played a really balanced game - I've been social across the board, won some immunities and used strategic planning to always keep me in the numbers and the game. Is this my game to lose??

my third (?) video confessional - sorry it's kinda long but like this is such an intense point of the game where there's only a few moves left to make but you have to make sure they're the right ones.

If this tribal goes to plan, Connor should go home. he has come out of the dark and is the one who has most distinctly made moves to better his own game. also he wrote my name down. once you come for me, i'd like to think your days are numbered. the only way this plan doesn't come together is if Simon gets freaked out by me and votes against Jeremy, forcing a tie.. Hopefully he doesn't make that call, because that will only complicate things further and i'm not in the mood for anything crazy so close to the end. Either way, I'm going to try my hardest to win F3 immunity so I can decide who goes out of Simon and Jeremy (assuming that's how F4 goes down). I've played a kinda despicable game - playing both sides, lying, blindsiding and pissing people off one by one. As much as this is true and I probably have a lot of enemies on the jury, I need to do whatever will give me the best shot come FTC. Maybe my best (or only) option is to commit to the villainous game I've played so far, not risk a bitter jury, and take Jeremy - a weaker player - to the end. Otherwise I can go with Simon, in which case I risk people feeling a strong, social and legitimate personal connection with him to the point that he beats me in the final vote. AIGHJDKSFKSFL WHY CAN'T THIS BE EASY rn is my only option to eliminate Connor and Simon?? Is that the only way I win? Do I want to win that way?? Can I beat Simon?? jfksadjl I'm so confused I guess I'll make that decision if it turns out that I win the final immunity challenge. Who knows, maybe Jeremy will win and I'll be taken to the end! I feel like I've legitimately come as far as I can strategically and all i can do is fight for my life. I've played a solid strategic game up to this point, and it'll either be my downfall or my crowning glory. only time will tell i guess. See you on the battlefield xoxo

I love this game!! I have learned so much about myself and i grew as a person. I do think i have a better shot at winning then everyone else left. Look at sandra me and her are the same. We both cant win challenges yet our social game is one of the bests and we manage to get to the end. I hope everything tonight goes to plan and connor goes and i can win the final challenge and gaurantee myself a spot in the final 2. But in case i cant, i am droping hints to simon and dan how they cant be the other one in the final 2. And you know me the ultimate goat in this game, they will be silly not to take me to the final 2. I am basically guarantee final 2 so i might as well just start writing my speech now

FINAL WORDS:

WHEW the game I thought was so perfect was unravelled completely in the blink of an eye. As much as it sucks to be worthy of the title and have it snatched away so close to the end, I'm proud of the way I played and I can walk away from this season knowing I left it all out there. Thank you so much to the hosts for an incredibly well-run season, I had so much fun! Here's to hoping I get a chance to seal the deal somewhere down the road <3 Sole out xo

tag yourself, i'm jeremy being the first ever player to be google-drived out of the game im in final 2??? how the fucKKK but ok wow literally i did everything i could and i am only here because jeremy messed up. ALL because it's ragan with an a. damn. oh my god. how am i here?? wasn't i supposed to go out like??? 11th??? and im in final two??/ what??? literally tho the main reason i stayed was because of simon and the relationship i had made with simon since merge because literally it's what kept me and i will actually be ok if he beats me. obviously i'd like to win but he played a good game. OR DID HE??? LADIES AND GENTLEMEN MY JURY SPEECH!!!! (buhm buhM BUUUUUHHMMM) simon's moves consisted of: playing an idol, playing an idol, voting with me and having me do all the work, and winning a challenge. ok??? lets get that clear because if he beats me i SWEAR because i actually did social AND strategic plays so ok hun have fun i kinda super hope i actually do beat simon because it was be funny as SHIT if he voted to keep me in the jeremy vote and then AGAIN at final two and if i BEAT HIM??? iconic

final number of ejections: ryan 7 callie 7 masen 5 connor 5 sarah 3 nick h 3 jeremy 2 ari 2 nick w 1 simon 1 christine 1 isabelle 1 sole 0

the fact that jeremy 1. thinks he played a STRONG game and 2. thinks his game is BETTER than mine is actually insulting

PONDEROSA VLOG:

(Isabelle & Nick)

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