I really love your addition on that post about internet soft skills!!! What a great point about avoidance. The soft skills to develop are tolerance for discomfort and imo also learning how to recognize/distinguish danger from discomfort. And, how to apply your values to how you show up online. Like different situations are different but for someone who hasn’t learned these soft skills, someone being short and someone using threats/slurs (for example) result in the same avoidance behavior. And everyone’s safety looks different too. If you’re someone with specific triggers, it could be a safety thing to block anyone who engages in a certain topic, but the soft skill in that case would be about knowing your personal boundaries and accepting that other people are Allowed to have different boundaries.
I also think the block on sight Norm is indicative of our culture’s obsession with Dissapearing people and it ties into the way we treat unhoused folks and anyone with a criminal record. If we can’t practice our values of Abolition in online spaces, how can we hope to practice them in the real world? And of course, not everyone shares that value, so the soft skills mentioned in this post come in- how do we accept that there’s people out there who view the world differently and how do we adjust our online behavior accordingly?
Thank you so much! I have talked a lot about this over the years and sometimes I feel like I'm just yelling out into the void cause no one's listening... but it's one of those things where I really wish people could step back and see the bigger picture. I really think people think they're doing something with this misuse of block that they're really not. Like I actually think people want a mute feature so fucking badly. And because we don't have a mute feature, people make posts all over the place encouraging others to let go of any anxiety they have about using the block feature as if it is a mute feature. And they applaud themselves for their dedication to themselves and their health and security so they feel righteous in it. But all it does is actually ignore that there's a need of this userbase that is not being met by the functionality of the website.
And really, I think the fact there's a need for posts to encourage others to use block so liberally proves my point here. And it's really sad because the people who participate in this often think that pointing this out is proof that they're right and anyone who disagrees with them is really Fundamentally Unsafe, but I think we should all take a second to unlearn this idea that there is a possibility for anyone to be Fundamentally Unsafe on the basis of one thing about them. And this idea forces people to lean into that feeling... all those posts that encourage people acknowledge that it doesn't feel good to block someone who has never hurt you. These posts acknowledge that it feels mean to do that until you get used to it and then it doesn't feel like a big deal anymore. And they use that to say "so see, it's not a big deal!" And that's just not a sound argument to me. But also, they never acknowledge that what they're saying is not what the block function is for or even what it does. The block function doesn't keep you from never seeing annoying people's posts. it doesn't make it so annoying people can't see your posts. it doesn't make it so that they can't see your blog if you have off dash on. Block was created for violence and harassment. I just checked, that's not mentioned on tumblr's page for it anymore. What blocking does isn't stop you from seeing them or stop them from seeing you. You stop you from seeing them by filtering their url. You do not have a way to stop them from seeing you. What blocking does is limit their ability to contact you. And that's very very very different. The implications are different. And i think that's importab because I think these posts specifically encourage people to stop trying to differentiate between "uncomfortable" and "unsafe" and they tell people that functionally the block is how we deal with both of these things, so it doesn't matter which one it is, but if we did differentiate, we'd be able to address "uncomfortable" a lot better!
Like I just think it's so fucking silly that in 2026, I know there are posts that I can't reblog because I didn't like when Taylor Swift dated a man her fandom won't even mention by name anymore over 10 years ago. These people functionally decided that I was irredeemably not knowable in 2015. and I'm sure if they scrolled through their blocklist they'd have no idea what I did. And if they learned of what I did they'd be like "oh lol unblock hahaha" And yet... They have no idea the full implications of that decision when they made it, they hadn't thought it through. And anyone who said "before you block someone for fandom drama, keep a list so you can unblock them when that fandom drama becomes irrelevant" would be seen as "toxic" by "refusing you your right to your own curated space" as they were directly encouraged not to think about the implications of that. And how are we not seeing the social harm in encouraging each other to not think of the implications of punitive action against one another???? That's the part I don't get. How is it that it's such an unpopular thing to say? I feel crazy sometimes.
It also encourages people to overreact to things that are different. Once I was blocked by a birdwatching blog and I was so confused. I sent them a message from my backup account and asked them what I did because I was just trying to reblog their picture of a bird and I was so confused. They said I had liked a post of theirs because someone I followed had recently followed them and started reblogging their stuff and they clicked on my block and saw One Direction and assumed I was a bot or a troll and so they blocked me cause they thought that was weird cause my blog had nothing to do with birds. And I was like "my blog is a collection of things I like, which includes both One Direction and pretty pictures of birds" and they were like "oh sorry!" unblocked and then I followed them for years until they went inactive. You see someone who likes different music from you think "this has nothing to do with me, must be a bad actor" rather than "this person with a music taste that is different from me likes my thing!"
It's not sustainable. Everyone talks about how bad it is reblogs are dying, but the most engaged userbase has been here for 10+ years. We all know how frustrating it is to try to reblog something and you're blocked by the OP for a reason you can't figure out. Maybe this is a part of it? Maybe randomly telling each other for the past 12ish idk when blocking was introduced yeas that we all hate each other and will block anyone like it means nothing is a part of that?
I think a mute feature, a social emphasis on "just keep scrolling," and a social emphasis on accountability would be how we learn those soft skills. Not everyone is going to share the values of "just keep scrolling" and accountability, but if we make them social norms, it will become easier for people to access these skills. Like I said, the way things are currently working discourage the skills needed to tell the difference between "unsafe" and "uncomfortable." Thus, I think people want to live more harmoniously. My hot take on the whole "born good/bad/blank slate" thing is that people have a desire for harmonious and easy cooperation. If instead of shutting down that desire, we leaned into it, I think we'd find a lot more cooperation than we think we'll find. There's a post from many years ago about how the best financial advice someone could give someone who's struggling is to ask questions. If you call a billing line and ask them if there's anything they can do, even though you read on the website that there isn't, sometimes they can work with you. People want to help you. If there's not there's not, but sometimes, there is. And you never know if you don't ask! We need to take this approach with each other, socially. Did that person mean the implications you read from that post? You'll never know if you don't ask them. Did that person know the way they came off was rude? You'll never know if you don't allow them the opportunity to acknowledge and correct. Leaning into curiosity will go a long way, and I think it would be so easy if everyone stopped begging each other not to think about it.