[ @bloodiedwolf — cont. ]
there’s no good that can come from rising to the bait. she’s half a mind – three-fourths of a mind, a whole mind – to make as though she hadn’t heard, to stop her ears and keep her heart stone. ( he was never her friend for true then, and he isn’t her friend for true now, and that’s all, arya tells herself – but something else answers back. might be just the one part’s true – might be having saved his life not once but twice, now, makes her responsible for it, or at least until they part ways somewhere. her jaw works, in spite of herself, tightening a notch.)
there’s no good that can come, for either of them, from her rising to the bait. she ought to keep her ears stopped, her tongue still, her brow unfurrowed, her heart stone, yet –
the furrow in her brow deepens, eyes moving hard and wary to his face.
‘ – … did you remember something? ’
godsdamnit. bait, risen to. fuck.
He knows she’s there, but when—within—he tries to grasp the falling scraps of faces and their attached memories which he has shed before ( remnants which were fine as they were until they gathered into a thick coating which lined his body, somehow coagulating into a sense of urgency, a need to be recognized, when he saw the girl whom he hadn’t seen for years ) for a half moment forgets where he is and whom he’s with. It’s not lack of mind so much as infatuation with what may be inside of him, something he had never before tried—or been able—to look at. Perhaps when he was younger he tried to find himself, when he was a boy, but those years are long gone. Now he’s trying again, but his mind is not allowing him to gather much at a time. Every time a memory flashes before his mind, he’s unsure as to whether it’s a man’s memory or the memories of the men whose faces he has taken before.
The woods were cold. Quiet. Dark.
He intones the words as if reciting a prayer, and while he can see the densely-packed forest before him, he cannot see beyond the blurred shapes of the trees—
When Arya ( she must have chosen a new name, a man thinks ) inquires about the scenery, he turns to look at her. What concentration may have been draped across his features moments ago comes and goes like the lapping waves of the sea, and once again his face is customarily calm and tinged with a hint of kindness. He won’t let her in just yet; he won’t allow himself to search too deeply within his psyche when right in front of her. ( She’s the one who’s not ‘supposed’ to trust him, yet he’s the one following her lead. Again, a vicious cycle that will have to eventually be broken by one of the two. )
His shoulders rise and fall slightly, and he’s tempted to chuckle ( as if he could remember his memories clearly within weeks of being alone and grappling with his new position as a relatively normal human being ) but he still remains impassive. Her curiosity is worth noting—not worth chiding.
“ Like the direction of the wind, in fragments they come and go—all in different directions, all at different speeds. A man’s mind is not yet like a girl’s,” able to recall the things that make her who she is.