the deep end of the ocean
taken from the 1996 jacquelyn mitchard book.
i can think of better places to fall than that thing. why don’t we get you on a couch?
you’re a very sorry person.
i know you don’t feel like getting up, but you have to. your muscles will atrophy.
that was a shitty thing to do.
i want you to remember the balloon-blowing thing, because that kind of breathing helps bring a panic attack to a close sooner, if you can concentrate on it.
maybe it’s faith that really takes the courage. the belief in things unseen.
we’ll talk when you’re better, baby.
nothing has to be wrong with you.
that’s why we listen to the easter bunny.
cedar. it’s supposed to preserve clothes and keep moths away.
get your sweatshirt on. we’re going for a ride.
don’t self-destruct in front of me.
but this kid you love is a real angry kid. and you are the people he loves.
don’t bolt the door behind you is all. close it partway if you have to, but don’t lock it.
even grownups have fights sometimes. you know that. it’ll all be better in the morning.
i think i have a fever is what i think.
maybe you don’t have to believe everything. maybe you don’t have to know how to pray.
but i got to tell you, this kid is the saddest kid in the world right now.
you can kill box elder bugs better with just plain old dish soap and water in a squirter.
you know, it doesn’t mean you’re going to be short all your life, either.
just get better. don’t die on me.
was the fight a really bad experience? i mean, your eye looks like an undercooked big mac, but even so...
you could have broken your neck, or gotten hit by a car, or worse.
maybe you have all you can do right now just to hold on. maybe holding on is enough.
i’m filing the adoption papers next week.
my little love. my best boy.
it’s a mental thing with you.
what’s going on, sweetie?
i’m sorry, honey, but you’re just about worthless the way you are right now.
everything’s going just fine. but you have to rest soon.
what happened to your eye?
never give up hope. pray, pray, pray.
in fact, to tell you the truth, i didn’t even want to have this whole – go through this whole big holiday act.
blow gently and slowly out through your mouth. but keep it steady. pretend you’re blowing up a balloon.
the accident was on television news. the late news.
well, in my experience, it sometimes gives you some peace.
but i gotta tell you, it’s killing me.
you’re the best sleeper of all.
i thought you were going to leave without saying goodbye.
in a little while, we’ll have pasta, eh?
dear one, you know you have gone away from god.
this is some kid you have here.
i’m okay. it doesn’t hurt.
you want me to cry in front of these people.
can you go a day – this one day – without trying to hurt something?
a tiny little thing. sick in bed a great deal.
you have now entered the counseling zone.
you don’t remember being our son, but the fact is, you are our son.
i want my bed. i want my toothbrush.
this restaurant’s a hit because people are ghouls.
you’ve been through so much.
i’m sorry, but i’m not sorry.
go upstairs now. lie down for a while.
we know how hard this has been.
this is a detective’s badge. it’s very valuable.
i’m sorry. but you had to understand how this depends on surprise.
but some other stuff, too. like you move the house to take care of someone.
you’ve got to snap out of it at some point. no one can talk to you.
i remembered something from when i was a kid.
this must feel very strange to you. you want a blanket?
we need to get you some rest, here.
you know, it’s actually kind of weird. not bad weird. kind of neat.
you’re going to hate me for this, and i know it.
i think you have a bad case of the poor-little-me’s, is what i think.
you sacrifice everything for a child.
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