my cat died two weeks and two days ago. I'm not okay with it, she was my best friend, her and her sister kept me alive through one of my hardest struggles. She wasn't sick, she wasn't old, she was so healthy, so happy and so beautiful, she just died. It's not talked about often enough how often this occurs with cats. How they can be completely healthy and then die without warning. Cardiomyopathy and lung clots are huge cause of concern in felines and I knew this, infact I often said I was prepared for this to happen to one of my cats... I was infact not prepared. I work in vet med, I live close to my office. We were closed that day, I had just been petting her, she was sitting her spot and I went to my bedroom heard a loud sound and my partner went to see what it was, she screamed and said something was wrong with pennywise, she was unresponsive. Everything I knew about vet med went out the window all I could muster up was call my vet, and then I finally started CPR, no shoes on I ran out the house we rushed her to office still continuing CPR, she was gone and I knew it, but i tried. I'm so traumatized I don't even know if I want to continue to work in vet med, I was so unprepared for my own pet. I froze. It doesn't happen like that at work but, nothing prepared you for your own pet.
Pennywise was the best cat. I got her when I lived in Florida, she was dumped under a dumpster, I begged and pleaded with my ex for this cat, she was my dream cat. Id always wanted a dark grey/blue cat and I finally got her. My ex left not long after, but the way she left was a mess, I'm at work with no vehicle, my phone had broke a few days prior, we had just deposited my check I was the only one working, rent was due, she left while I was at work, took all the money, left the apartment broken, took a cat, left me with no cat food or litter, she didn't just leave she did so in the most toxic way, taking one couch cushion and changing all the times on the clocks. It was awful, and I did not want to be alive but her and grim sitting in my lap purring away, I realized I was all they had, all they loved. So I stayed alive for them. She traveled from Florida for Indiana, to SE Kentucky, to Lexington, to Virginia, where our journey came to an abrupt end. I have cried everyday since, I have laughed at the memories, I've been filled with rage. I miss my baby, my sunshine. It took me months to get her to trust me, she gave me the most unconditional love for almost four years and I'll spend the rest of my life continuing to show her unconditional love, I'll miss her silently and with all of my voice. I'm not sure I will ever stop grieving this loss.
