A Klance Oneshot (featuring Kaltenecker, of course)
Just a little thing I wrote up, inspired by the milking scene clip from NYCC. No warnings to report, just silliness and some fluff.
AO3 Link
----
"Uh, guys? Why are you looking at me like that?"
Lance blinked in confusion as the two Alteans stared at him like he had five heads. Coran's nose was wrinkled and his eyebrows all drawn in, his mustache twitching up with the expression. Allura was wide-eyed and pale, throat moving with a silent swallow as she held her hand in front of her mouth in shock. In the awkward few seconds that followed, the cow behind him gave a soft moo and Lance moved his fingers self-consciously against the surface of the glass of milk in his left hand. Allura and Coran looked at each other for a moment before Allura cleared her throat and couldn't seem to meet Lance's eyes anymore. Coran opened his mouth to say something, then seemed to think better of it and closed it again. Lance frowned, holding the glass of milk in his right hand toward the pair.
"You did ask for a milkshake, right?"
Finally, Allura spoke, though her voice was faulty and her smile was sheepish and clearly forced. "Um, on second thought, Lance...I think we'll pass on the milkshakes...I have to...go do something. Yes."
Coran nodded a bit too vigorously than necessary. "Yes! Indeed. I must also attend to...important things! See you later, Lance!"
Before Lance could respond, the two left the room and he was alone with Kaltenecker. He sighed and stared down into the glass of milk in his right hand, leaning backwards against the flank of the cow. It wasn't as if he was really all that bothered with leaving his game to come do this for the princess, but he figured it must seem a little strange of a custom to the Alteans who have no concept of how cows work. For goodness sake, they tried to negotiate verbally with Kaltenecker, as if that would work. Lance chuckled a little to himself and sipped at the milk with a small smile. It was a bit too sweet and had a strange sort of aftertaste to really classify as the same thing, but the familiarity of it was a small comfort. A pang of homesickness twisted in his chest and the smile on his face dropped as thoughts of Earth flooded from the back of his mind once more. Maybe, he thought as he glanced at the cow, watching her chew slowly, maybe he'd relax here for a little bit.
----
The other paladins had their own ways of relaxing during the sliver of downtime they could afford. Hunk and Pidge were off in the hangers messing with some new invention to help extend communication distances between the lions. Pidge had been excited to work on it more, as it was at a point nearing completion, and Hunk was more than happy to assist. Shiro had suggested that instead of training, Keith should relax and focus on sharpening his mind rather than his body. The two of them had gone to the common room and discussed a few things about handling Black before Shiro waved off the younger paladin, insisting they stop talking shop for a while. Keith was leaning back on the sofa, in the middle of cleaning his blade from the Galra with a small cloth, when Allura burst in, causing both paladins' heads to whip up. She was huffing, face drained of color, and looked out of sorts. Immediately, he senses went on high alert and he stood from the couch, pocketing his knife, but Shiro beat him to the punch.
"What's wrong, Princess? Are we being attacked?"
Allura shook her head, placing a hand on her chest and regaining her breath before answering. "Y-Your Earth customs are strange! Is it normal to squeeze...to t-touch the dangling bits of Kaltenecker and...and fluid to come out? She did not seem bothered at all, but it was so...it was so horrifying to watch!"
Keith's eyes widened in recognition and confusion, not sure what to say. Shiro seemed to be struggling to contain a laugh as he eased off the sofa and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Yes, that's how you milk a cow. I wasn't aware you were practicing such a technique." he said with a grin.
Allura's head shook once more, her composure slowly returning.
"N-No, Coran had discovered the existence of milkshakes after speaking with Hunk and we wanted to try them. After several attempts with negotiating with Kaltenecker, we weren't sure how to proceed and asked Lance to help us out. He showed us the proper way to do it and...oh goodness, I still can't imagine that is normal."
"Wait...Lance milked Kaltenecker? He knows how to do that?" Keith cut in, suddenly.
Allura frowned slightly at the phrasing. "Is it a task not all humans are capable of?"
Shiro shrugged and explained. "Typically, the only people who really know how to milk cows are those who have been around them or grew up on a farm. Not all humans are familiar with it. I have to say, it's a bit surprising that Lance knows the right way to do it; I hadn't pegged him as a farm type."
Shiro cast a glance toward Keith. After the trials Keith had gone through with the Blade of Marmora, he had been aware of Keith's past growing up on a ranch with his father. They hadn't deemed it necessary to talk about with the others.
"Oh, I see...I suppose Lance is a man of many talents." Allura mused, though still clearly uneasy about the idea of cow milking.
Keith excused himself from the room as Shiro began speaking with Allura about Blue to change the uncomfortable topic. He caught a glance of her face lighting up with a smile as he ducked out, glad that Shiro was able to distract her. There was something more important to get to the bottom of now that he knew this interesting tidbit about Lance. Since when was Lance a farm boy? How on earth had he missed this? Come to think of it, for all the times Lance wouldn't shut up, he never mentioned anything about his family or how he grew up. The topics were always more frivolous and carefully skated around any serious matter, save for the rare times Lance would want to discuss something important. A picture of the other's dejected expression as he walked into Keith's room and the way his voice had been so uncharacteristically quiet and fragile flashed in Keith's mind and he quickly stuffed that back down where it belonged.
Heading down the corridor towards the room that had once housed Alfor's memories, Keith approached the door and placed his hand on the panel to open it. Artificial light flooded his eyes and the view of the fake sky and grass field revealed itself. It had been handy having the capabilities to simulate a place where Kalenecker would feel at home, even if they were far from any actual open fields. In the center of the room, Keith spotted who he was looking for, dressed in a nightgown and sitting on a stool beside the cow in question. He strode over to Lance, catching the other's eyes as Lance lifted his head when he heard Keith's footsteps. A smile bloomed on Lance's face and he held out a glass toward Keith.
"Hey, Keith. Allura and Coran wanted milkshakes, but I think they were a little freaked out when I showed them how to milk a cow. You want some? It's not the same as real milk, but it's still pretty good."
Keith couldn't help the small smile that slipped out at how Lance looked so proud sitting there in his sleepwear and slippers next to a pail of milk. He folded his arms across his chest, eying the two glasses that had obviously been intended for Allura and Coran, though by the looks of it, Lance had been sipping out of one of them. He let out a soft huff.
"You do know that drinking milk straight from a cow isn't good for you, right? Especially a space cow and space milk."
Lance pouted, rolling his eyes and thrusting the full glass at Keith again. "Oh come on, if we haven't died from space goo by now, I doubt this is going to hurt that much."
Keith sighed, debating on arguing that point and ultimately deciding it wasn't worth it, partially because Lance's knowledge of cows was the real thing he wanted to talk about. He took the offered glass of milk and sniffed it. It had a sweet scent and didn't smell like the milk he remembered, but a glance towards Lance's expectant look urged him to take a small taste. To his surprise, it really wasn't that bad. Too sweet for his liking, but it did have a similar taste and it was nice, if not a bit thick.
"Not bad, Kaltenecker." He said, looking at the cow, who simply kept chewing and didn't have any reaction. Not that a cow would respond.
Lance beamed, holding up his own glass of milk and leaning forward with his free hand on his knee, tilting his head to the side to gesture for Keith to join him. He obliged, sitting on the grass beside Lance's stool and resting his arms of his knees. Lance put down his glass and patted Kaltenecker's flank gently.
"Yeah, right? She's a good girl. I'm actually glad the princess asked about milkshakes, because she really needed the milking. I think she was getting uncomfortable. It's something I don't think we really thought about and I feel bad for neglecting her. I'm sorry, babe."
He cooed at Kaltenecker softly and scratched behind her ear, something Keith found oddly endearing. Which brought to mind the reason he came to find him. Keith set down his milk and leaned forward against his knees to peer at Lance curiously.
"I didn't know you knew how to milk cows." He said, the question lurking behind his words.
Lance glanced back at Keith in surprise before his shoulders drooped just a fraction. He mirrored Keith's pose with his elbows against his knees and stared down at his slippers.
"I guess I never did mention anything about that." He mumbled almost to himself.
Keith waited quietly. The two of them had been spending a bit more time together than before, so he knew by now that when Lance was quiet, he was processing how to say something. Sure enough, after a minute, Lance looked back up at him with a half-smile. The explanation followed.
"Growing up, our family was large and we all had to help support each other in whatever way we could. I wasn't the best at...well anything, really, but as soon as I was old enough to get a job, I did. It was like, a part time job-hopping thing, but it worked. I helped out at the general store for a while and I really liked talking to the people who came in. People are kind of my thing. But then Mr Santina couldn't afford to keep me as an employee, so I got into the car garage. Never was good at machines though, so that didn't last."
Lance sat up, gesturing with his hands as he talked. "We lived in the country, but we weren't rich enough to afford a farm. I always wanted to work with animals, so I asked around with our neighbors and was able to get a job as a hand. I did a lot of stuff around the farm, including milking cows, so...that's how I learned. I'll admit, being so far away from Earth and home, it was a bit of surprise to find what looks like a fairly normal cow at the space mall. Kaltenecker kind of brings that small piece of home back, you know? I miss all the animals from the farm."
His expression went soft then and his hand lifted to absently stroke the cow's flank beside him. Kaltenecker let out a moo. Keith chuckled a little as he watched, resting his chin on his palm, and the noise drew Lance's attention.
"What?"
Keith gave a little half-shrug with one shoulder. "Well, I was raised on a ranch with my father, so I know what you mean. About the animals."
Lance seemed surprised at this, blue eyes widening and his attention fully focused on Keith. Keith continued, the memories coming back to him, though not nearly recalled as fondly as Lance's own.
"We didn't have a huge variety, just horses and a few goats. I probably wasn't as good with animals as you are though. My dad was the one who really loved them, but I did like to ride."
Lance let out a little gasp that made Keith blink. The other's face was a picture of delight and it caused a weird sort of flip in Keith's chest that he wasn't too comfortable with.
"Oh my god! I loved horseback riding! Mr Arriola would let me take Peligro out for a ride after finishing for the day. We were best friends, Peligro and I." He paused, then thought to translate for Keith. "Peligro means 'danger', and boy was that horse a magnet for it. He would get his hoof stuck in a hole, his head stuck in the chickenwire fence, anything you can think of, this rascal managed it. He never ceased to get into trouble."
Lance laughed and Keith smiled. "He's just like you, then." The affronted expression he received only made Keith smile more, breaking into a snicker as Lance shoved his shoulder lightly. "What? I'm right."
"Oh, shut up." Lance muttered, trying to appear annoyed, though the glimmer in his eyes gave him away. He reached for his glass of milk again, using it as an excuse to take a drink and not speak for a little bit. His fingers twitched against the rim of the glass for a second as he seemed to consider something, then they stilled.
"Hey, Keith? If-...When we get to go back to Earth, we're going riding together, okay? I'm sure Peligro would love you."
Keith raised his eyebrows in surprise at the idea, as it was rare of Lance to openly suggest doing something together, but one look at the hint of red tainting Lance's cheeks and he had to glance away himself. An image of the two of them on horseback flickered across his mind, specifically Lance in a cowboy hat and bandana, and he struggled to force down a flush of his own. Okay, maybe the idea was pretty tempting. He must have hesitated a bit too long, however, because Lance was quick to stutter out a follow up.
"I-I mean we don't have to, if you don't want to. We don't even know if we'll get back to Earth, or when, or...but y'know, if we do, I just thought that since we both liked riding it would be fun to-"
"Lance." Keith stopped his rambling with a hand on Lance's knee, making the other look up at him. He found it easier to answer now, certain of himself as he gave Lance a reassuring look. The other paladin visibly relaxed upon seeing it, the bright smile returning to his face at Keith's next sentence.
