“Average uchiha has 3 crow summons” factoid actually just statistical error. Average uchiha has zero crow summons. Crows Itachi, who lives in a cave & has over 10000 crow summons is an outlier adn should not have been counted.
it took Kakashi over a decade to properly adjust to being a sharingan host and even then he had to keep it covered all the time bc it kept siphoning his chakra.
so that has me thinking...
Itachi's crow that had Shisui's eye...
we've been sleeping on the strongest character proportional to size/species.
"Follow me." she says. she leads me to the kitchen. she silently points at the fridge. a hundred scenarios of oh god what did i forget in there run through my head. i swallow my fear and open the fridge.
10 kg bucket of yogurt.
i am in disbelief.
"i went to the big supermarket and thought of you ☺️"
i cry through mouthfuls of yogurt. happiest day of my life.
i think the one aspect where Obito just destroys all competition within the Uchiha is the variety and adorableness of the nicknames you can derive from his name
just remembered one of my lost tobiizu fics many many years ago (like back in 2017??? around that time) where Izuna lives, Tobirama falls first (and hard) but never pursues anything initially bc
he is deeply in denial,
even if he did acknowledge these feelings, he almost killed Izuna that one time, he'd never want him and will likely hate him forever deep down
the one time he tried* to drop hints and test the waters (for curiosity. and science. yes.) Izuna just didn't seem to reciprocate (a combination of him being an asshole to Tobirama + all around flirty with everyone)
*Tobirama is bad at dropping hints.
then Plot™ happens, Madara is incapacitated indefinitely (i think comatose??? not fully sure), Izuna becomes acting Clan-head (refuses to assume the mantle officially), and becomes increasingly more cold, ruthless, bitter, and angry bc he blames the village for it. Almost never goes out in person, sent clones to do everything (much to Tobirama's chagrin, it's different when HE does it ok?), when he does appear in person he is short, snippy, and to the point.
He kidnaps Madara from the village hospital (seeing his lack of improvement as incompetence of the medics), refuses to hand him back to the hospital, spends every waking moment personally taking care of him and pouring over medical texts and scrolls. Hashirama freaks out (rightfully) the longer Izuna refuses visitors, gets increasingly more pushy. The more Izuna is pushed the more aggressive he becomes, the clans and entire village can sense this cold-war-almost-spilling-over-into-active-battle-between-hokage-and-clanhead. the entire situation is a bomb waiting to explode.
Tobirama intervenes by successfully (and with great great difficulty) negotiating a deal with Izuna where he allows a select medic to check Madara's situation regularly, allows them to submit their reports to Hashirama, and listens to their expert medical opinions. in exchange Tobirama will personally help him work on ways to wake Madara up/heal him.
he basically kidnaps Izuna to his secret lab to show him all the freaky shit he invents/researches and ONLY THEN is Izuna convinced by his offer. (this man found a way to bend literal time-space-reality. none of the medical texts i've researched have led me anywhere. maybe he can make another impossibility happen.)
Tobirama now has a setup where he is spending extensive time with his unacknowledged all-consuming crush, which should be great, except Izuna is just full of anger, super stressed, absolutely terrified of losing his brother, very likely experiencing extreme caregiver's burnout, in addition to his duties. His heart is a barren wasteland where no love could blossom.
Tobirama doesn't mind tho, he's happy to spend time with Izuna (and maybe subtly push him to take better care of himself and if that doesnt work secretly spike his drinks with supplements and boosters. maybe he can invent a scentless highly vaporous sedative to make him sleep more than 3 hours a day.)
one extra stressful and bad night they fuck and it becomes a Thing. colleagues with benefits. Izuna sees it as a much needed stress outlet and nothing more. Tobirama will take what he can get (and suffer extensively as he increasingly gets more and more attached to/obsessed with the one who will never reciprocate.)
together they figure out the EMS, then the whole healing-factor using Hashirama's cells (who gladly and enthusiastically donates. he wants nothing more than to help Madara and he's been feeling so helpless and frustrated at his inability to heal others). after months of bleak nothingness Madara actually begins improving (still not waking up sadly)
regardless, Izuna becomes less stressed, a bit more light-hearted, he smiles (rarely, but still). Tobirama thinks he's developed heart problems but it's actually just fluttering and stupidly in love. the future is looking hopeful. until one day Izuna drops on him that he's getting arrange married (the clan has decided that since Madara is unlikely to wake up, and his heir -Izuna- is now the clan head, they need a new heir.) Izuna on his end does not seem like he could possibly give less of a fuck about the whole thing, treating it as just another duty to fulfill. He's willing to go through with it if they stop hounding his ass about taking the Clan-head title officially, the elders think its just a matter of semantics so they agree.
Seeing Tobirama get worked up makes Izuna remind him (in a somewhat callous and cruel way) that their arrangement was just physical stress relief, and meant nothing. that Izuna was clear about that. Tobirama on his end and with great pain acquiesces, keeping his raging vortex of feelings to himself. (I distinctly remember thinking damn if he was an Uchiha this would awaken his MS)
much later after it all goes through and the new Normal is established, Wife betrays Izuna, making an attempt on Madara's life. turns out the whole marriage was a political ploy by her clan (i remember it had to do with what fucked him up in the first place but i dont exactly remember how)
unfortunately for her,
you can't out manipulate the king of manipulators
Izuna has absolutely no Mercy in his bones.
He does attempt to -very publicly- execute her for her transgressions. she is saved by Hashirama's intervention and insistence that they follow proper judiciary protocols. also Izuna, idk if you knew this, but your wife is pregnant. i can sense life in her, so i cannot let you execute her.
Izuna begrudgingly backs off, agreeing to a delayed sentencing. Hashirama tells him he can't let him be involved in the investigation (he knows Izuna will just use it to bypass his orders somehow). Izuna agrees on the condition that if he's not allowed to be involved, the investigation be headed by Tobirama (deep down he's come to fully trust him actually, and perhaps only him outside of his brother). The Wife strikes a plea deal to tell them everything she knows about her clan's plans in exchange for her life.
Then a few chapters of Tobirama playing detective Conan+ace attorney. He's keeping Izuna posted on everything. at some point they fall back to bad habits. then i think i went fully into political drama for the next few months.
Madara eventually wakes up (rinnegan go brrrr-but like no one knows it goes back to sleep after waking him), tho he's not exactly himself?? he's a bit dazed all the time. spaced out like he's in a trance and not fully there (he Learned Things ok? trying to process the incomprehensible Knowledge™ he's now acquired)
Tobirama and Izuna's colleagues-with-benefits had at some point evolved into a friends-with-benefits. which means Izuna is being more vulnerable and actually sharing how he feels/thinks sometimes. Mito on her part is acting as somewhat of a parole officer for the Wife, keeping an eye on her and keeping her chakra sealed. her and Izuna meet a few times and while he's not exactly warm and they dont talk about anything outside the baby, he's also not trying to kill her on sight or glare a hole through her skull. She begs for his forgiveness and he tells her to just focus on the Baby. Mito tries, and seemingly is having some success, at smoothing over the tensions before the birth.
When the birth comes and a baby boy is born, Izuna's eyes are so full of love and warmth again he feels like he could cry. he can't wait to introduce his son (his son!!!) to Madara. very touching and symbolic moment, a mark for a new beginning for everyone. until Izuna activates his MS and kills the mother on the spot.
Uchiha Izuna does not forget or forgive when it comes to harming his loved ones.
it veers into more drama about Izuna disobeying direct orders from the Hokage (the official sentencing was very similar to what oro had going on at the end of naruto) and Izuna replies that No Actually. According to the village's penal code -that he was involved in drafting By The Way- attempted political assassinations by external actors on clan members fall to the jurisdiction of the Clan Head to decide: whether to follow the Clan's internal sentencing rules or delegate the Village Council to do the sentencing.
and in case you forgot, Hokage-sama, he specifically agreed to a delayed sentencing. The Uchiha's punishment for making an attempt on their Clan Head is death, and as acting Clan Head he was implementing their sentence. AND SO it was Hashirama who was overstepping and disrupting the power-balance of the village.
Tobirama once again intervenes (bc Hashirama was for once actually getting angry. esp once Izuna basically called him a coward and implied he never truly cared about Madara if he's willing to let his would-be murderer off the hook so easily. Hashirama had personally also wanted an on the spot execution bc thats his Madara!!! but Hashirama is also a man who is good at tempering his anger and not giving in to his impulses and as Hokage MUST think beyond himself. Izuna just whacked a sore spot with a hammer)
then after is a few chapters of slice of life with the new baby and Madara's journey to Healing and tobiizu fighting + sorting through complicated feelings (and maybe a confession??????) while the dominoes to the first shinobi world war are falling in the bg. that was as far as it got before i lost all my files by basically frying my laptop in a freak accident and being so upset that i completely stopped writing for years.
