#borderlinelife

[never-not-ever]

And to think last Thursday I almost, almost asked to not have therapy this week lololol. Looks like life was like “you thought you wanted a vacation from therapy? well here’s a shitty week to remind you that you’re ass still needs therapy” 😒

[never-not-ever]

I still haven’t done my paper for my Theories of Personalities class because every time I start writing about my personality I’m just reminded of how fucked up I am.

Like talk about my personality? Well the first thing you should know is that I have no idea who I am and my personality is constantly changing based on how depressed or suicidal I am. Like fuck

[never-not-ever]

Stefan explaining what the worst thing is about being a vampire… sounds a lot like having Borderline.

“Anger becomes rage. When you’re sad, you’re in despair. Grief, loss, it can cripple you. That’s why so many of us turn our emotions off. It just becomes too overwhelming.”

[never-not-ever]

Today was a day. I got so angry at my girlfriend and totally overreacted. My anger was like a 10 when it justifiably should have been a 2. Looking back I can’t believe how mean I was and I felt horrible afterward. Granted now she’s in bed next to me watching Tik Tok videos and I can’t focus on this text post and I’m getting so angry again... I’ve been home from inpatient/residential for exactly 3 weeks today and we’ve literally been together every. single. day. We definitely need space and I just want to run home and stay there for a few days but my bedroom is now empty and she’ll probably feel hurt with me doing that and tbh I’d probably just stay in my room all day and my depression would just get worse. I’m just so fucking tired and I can’t fucking think straight and those videos are so fucking loud and I’m such a bitch but I’m so pissed off and so tired and I just want to scream and cry and throw things.