summary: ben’s in love with y/n. he’s too far gone.
1.8k words, ben x reader, angst my good folks
this is rated 16+ for exploring mature themes. please read and interact at your own discretion.
this is dedicated to blake aka @sweet-ladyy for being freaking awesome! i am so grateful to have met her through the discord, i’ve quickly come to realise just how sweet and amazing she is. not to mention, a fucking BRILLIANT writer!! go check her stuff out!
thank you to @redspecialty and @brian-maybe-not for doing me the honour of beta-reading this fic. i took a slightly different angle with this, and i was very happy to have their guidance through it. check their masterlists out!!
He isn’t sure how it happened. More precisely, he isn’t sure when it happened.
Now that Ben thinks of it, he wonders how one could possibly not fall in love with Y/N. It’s bound to happen at some point in everybody’s life.
Surely everyone in the room is spellbound when Y/N speaks, moving her hands animatedly and looking around the room to see if she’s got everyone’s attention. Surely everyone notices how her hair swishes around her face when she laughs with unbridled joy. Surely everyone notices the softness of her hands, the plumpness of her lips, the curves of her naked body—
That last one, he’s not so sure everybody understands. He’s not so sure he wants everybody to understand. He wants to be the only one who gets to watch as Y/N’s chest rises and falls with every deep breath. He wants to be the only one who gets to put his hands on her, gentle at first and rougher from there on, the only one who gets to truly feel her.
He’s sitting in Y/N’s kitchen as he thinks, running his hand over the rim of his coffee cup. He’s watching as his girl hums while spreading cream cheese on a bagel, a stupid grin on his face he didn’t know he was sporting.
Y/N turns around once she’s done, bringing over two plates of toasted bagels to the table. She scoffs at Ben’s expression, “What are you looking at?”
“Huh?”
“You were looking at me like I’m Aphrodite or something.” She says it so nonchalantly. She doesn’t think anything of it as she takes a large bite out of her bagel. “What?” She reiterates when Ben doesn’t say anything.
Meanwhile, Ben’s asking Y/N in her head, Do you not see it, my Aphrodite? But that is not what leaves his mouth. “Huh.”
“Huh?”
“Didn’t realise,” he mumbles, picking at the crumbs on his plate. But even with his vision turned towards his plate, Y/N’s fingers are still in view. He can see them, the pointer finger tap tap tapping on the counter, clearly because Y/N’s not satisfied with Ben’s answer.
But when Ben doesn’t say anything to follow up his short two words, Y/N shakes her head dismissively before getting up to pull a yogurt out of the fridge. “Got anything to do today?”
“Day off.” Ben’s voice is still small. He knows what’s coming next.
It’s Y/N’s boisterous laugh, happy about the fact that she has Ben all to herself today. “Really?” When Ben nods, Y/N puts down her yogurt cup on the counter and walks over to stand behind Ben.
The hair on the back of Ben’s neck stands up straight as Y/N brings her lips next to his ear to whisper, “Then I know what we should do once we’re done here.”
It happens in a blur. It’s quick and it’s habitual. It’s become chronic for Y/N and Ben. Oh, such routine it is, for Ben to find himself in Y/N’s bedroom after a hard day of filming just to get his mind off things.
And it works! It works for him, and it works for Y/N. They both have someone to themselves when they need it, and that was what was agreed upon.
But that’s the thing. That was all that was agreed upon.
So when Y/N gets up and out of bed after she’s caught her breath and heads to the dressing table to grab the tub of body butter, and when she smirks after realising Ben’s watching her every move, it feels a little too… intimate.
It never used to end like this. It always ended with Y/N and Ben both falling asleep with their naked backs facing each other. But somewhere along the way Y/N began making small talk as they both caught their breaths.
At first Ben was repulsed by the idea that it could be something more. He felt like he wasn’t ready for it.
But now, he craves it.
He craves those moments after sex when Y/N walks around the room to work on menial tasks and allows him to stay right there. He craves the feeling when Y/N casually sits down on his side of the bed, working the knots out of his shoulders after he said he was feeling stiff.
He craves Y/N.
Y/N climbs right back into bed once she’s done slathering the body butter onto her skin -- and some onto Ben’s too, right up until he protests. The comforter gathers around her waist, and she makes no effort to bring it up to her chest to cover her breasts from Ben.
Her phone pings! suddenly. She takes a quick look at the brightened screen before turning back to face Ben, a different expression on her face. “Forgot to tell you!” She puts her hand on Ben’s shoulder in a show of urgency.
“Yeah?” Ben says softly, trying not to melt into her touch too much.
“I have a date for tomorrow night. So don’t show up.”
She says it without a shred of hesitation. Suddenly, the hand on Ben’s shoulder feels too hot. He wants it off. He wants to get up, take a shower and wash off the feeling of Y/N on his body. But as soon as he gets up, mumbling something about using the shower, Y/N gets up with him, following him into the bathroom and waiting for him to get into the cubicle.
Ben doesn’t. His eyes stay glued to the grim tiles of Y/N’s bathroom floor for as long as Y/N doesn’t hurry him up. He can hear his heart in his ears.
He can also feel Y/N pushing on his shoulder, muttering, “Oi.” She shakes her head playfully, pushing past Ben to enter the cubicle before him.
Ben can’t help but take two steps back, he does not want to be in there with her. Not anymore. “You finish up first. I-- no, you go.”
“Oh, come on.”
“I have to-- just, you go-- I can’t.” Ben’s rushing out of the bathroom before he can hear what Y/N says next.
He sits on the edge of the bed the entire time Y/N is in the shower. Y/N’s side.
As soon as he hears the shower turn off, he stands up and rushes out of the room, trying not to face Y/N yet. He busies himself with making yet another cup of coffee for Y/N, because he knows how much she loves a steaming cup of coffee after a shower.
His sharp breaths are the only sound in the small kitchen. His hands grip the counter tightly, and he just wants to leave.
The sound of Y/N’s feet pattering across the floor soon fill his ears, and he uses the few seconds to collect himself before she sees his face.
“You should’ve made a mug for me, too!” Y/N pouts, pulling all her wet hair over one shoulder.
Ben wordlessly puts the mug in front of Y/N, and the smile, oh the smile that blossoms on Y/N’s face just makes him forget his predicament for a second. And for that second, he can only watch as Y/N wiggles her body -- quite natural for when she’s feeling happy -- and admire her.
“I knew I kept you around for a reason,” Y/N hums after taking a sip, wrapping her hands around the mug, holding it close to her chest.
And just like that, the moment is gone. The tightness in Ben’s chest returns. His smile fades away, but Ben doesn’t realise that so does Y/N’s.
“Everything okay, Benster?” she asks, putting her mug down and leaning forward, clearly worried.
Ben chuckles, running a hand through his hair. “Have you noticed, Y/N?” he begins, trying to maintain the casualness of his voice. “We’re… never mind.”
“Oh come on, tell me.” She stands, walking over to Ben and putting a hand on his shoulder. “Whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
Fucking hell. Ben thinks. “We’re acting- uh, really it’s fine, I don’t-” his mumbling is cut off by Y/N’s hand running down his arm to grab onto his hand.
“Hey.” Y/N’s voice is softer this time, almost like she’s talking to a little child after they’ve been crying. And honestly, Ben feels like one right about now. “It’s okay.”
Ben smiles wider, as if it’s helping him maintain his composure. “We act a lot like a couple, you notice?”
Y/N pulls away completely at that, crossing her arms across her chest. Shaking her head, she asks, “Really?”
“Just an observation.”
“Huh.”
“Yeah,” Ben whispers, pushing past Y/N to stand a few feet away, finding some comfort in gripping the handle of a nearby chair. “You know, talking casually after sex, eating breakfast afterwards, showering together; it’s all… coupley?” He smiles as he says the words, in an effort to write it off as a measly observation, and not as something that’s been eating away at him for weeks.
“Weird,” Y/N says shortly, shuffling her feet around. “I hadn’t noticed.” Her voice is small, too, now, clearly taken aback by Ben’s words. “Yeah, that’s weird,” She chuckles, looking down at the floor.
Ben can’t gauge what Y/N’s reaction means. Is she… affronted? Taken aback? Is she hurt?
“Stupid,” Ben says, his voice sounded distant to to Y/N’s years. “I shouldn’t have said it.”
“It’s fine,” Y/N breathes out. “Um…” she pinches the bridge of her nose with her index finger and thumb, still unable to muster up the courage to look at Ben. “I have to… I have to get ready.”
“What for?” Ben tries to get a look at Y/N’s face, but she’s clearly determined to hide it from him.
“My date.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll go.”
“Yeah, you should.”
Ben’s walking out of the kitchen without another word, deciding that some space for the both of them was best right now.
“Hey, wait, Ben.”
It doesn’t take Ben more than a second to turn around. Y/N’s voice is like a bell in his head, a call that he simply has to answer.
“If my date goes horribly,” Y/N mumbles, twisting her index finger with the fingers of her other hand. “Will you still be there?”
The way Y/N looks at Ben is so curious, afraid even, that Ben can’t help but take a small step towards his Y/N. His Y/N. He’s trying to maintain a distance, because he can sense that Y/N’s not happy with Ben’s discovery, but he can’t help himself. He simply has to reach out. He has to put his hand on Y/N’s face and caress her skin gently.
can I request cooking/baking hcs w/ the borhap boys?
ah, yes!! i’ve thought long and hard about this and arrived at a nice picture for each of the boys in my head :)
ben
• i’m calling it right now. i don’t think ben is very fond of baking.
• sure, he’ll bake with you because you like it, but i don’t think he ever thinks to himself, time to bake some yummy cupcakes!
• he’s there to spend time with you, so that’s what he’ll do.
• so he’s watching, he’s trying to pay attention, but he’s also kind of doing his own thing too
• like, he’ll keep talking about something else in the middle of you giving him instructions
• “i had a dream where i was on a date with allen, and when i came back from the bathroom, he was trying to eat the candle wax from the candle.”
• “ben, please fold the goddamn flour in.”
• but at the end of the day, he’s doing what you need him to do because he knows how much you like to bake.
• he even feels a little guilty when your cake is in the oven, pulling you close to him and whispering, “i’ll promise i’ll help out more next time.”
• but you’re okay with the little help he gives you, because even just being around ben is enough for you to have a good time.
gwil
• okay, i think we can all agree on this one: if gwilym lee is going to do something, he’s gonna make sure he does it well.
• for the both of you, baking is a joint effort. you both enjoy it, but your approaches vary.
• you’re just doing what you’re supposed to do, pouring and whisking while chattering away with gwil.
• but gwil insists that instructions are meant to be followed, y/n!
• so he’s making sure that one cup means one fucking cup, he even smoothes out the flour with a knife so you’re only getting the precise amount.
• but gwil’s efforts pay off, eventually, because of course, your cookies are out of this world.
• and of course, gwil is mr. smuggers once you’ve tasted your creation, because see? i was right.
joe
• pretty early into your relationship, you’ve declared to joe that you think you’re a really good baker.
• so he brings it up one day, challenging to you bake a better batch of cookies than him.
• you laugh it off, because we’ll need a lot of ingredients for that, joe, are you sure you want to spend that much money?
• but joe only drags you into the kitchen, and you find that joe has already laid the ingredients out for each of you on separate sides of the kitchen counter.
• oh, so that’s how you want to play it?
• of course, y/n, i’m going to bake you off so hard.
• neither of you is sure what that means, but you get to baking soon enough
• joe takes it way too seriously, insisting that he’s going to make you taste the best cookies you’ve ever eaten.
• but you only brush off his challenge with a ha!
• and let’s be real, it really doesn’t matter who does better than the other.
• in fact, neither of your cookies even make it to the oven.
• because when you walk away from the counter to grab a dish towel, joe runs behind you, pinning you to the counter with a it really doesn’t matter who does better does it, because we both know who’s the boss of who in this house.
• whom, joey.
• oh well, it was an eventful evening, one way or the other.
rami
• in my head, rami is in a similar situtation as ben, he’s not really fond of baking.
• but he sees that you want to do it, so he’ll be there with you.
• but unlike ben, he’s actually paying full attention, trying to follow your instructions
• he even asks questions, like what’s the difference between all these different types of flours? what if i use a different kind?
• oh, i can see the fascination on his face when he sees you do something, just going, whoaaaa, when he smells the browned butter mixed with sugar.
• it’s a hands-on learning experience for rami, and he makes sure the information is stored somewhere in his head for a later time.
• (and he’s not going to tell you this, but later time means he’ll have a plate of cookies ready for you when you get home when he knows you’re going to have a hard day of work. he’s really the best, isn’t he?)
here’s some more ben hardy x reader because let’s be honest i am a hardy hoe at the end of the day.
on a more serious note, this fanfiction has the reader in very recent abusive relationship. please do not read this if you are triggered by mentions of abuse - slightly blatant ones at that. i understand it is not easy to get help when you’re in an emotionally, physically or sexually abusive relationship, but no one has to suffer. please please PLEASE get help. i love all of you.
1.8k words of ben x reader, nice and full of angst and fluff. enjoy! :)
It had been weeks since you’d seen any of your friends.
You weren’t sure if you could, even though you wanted to. You wanted to so bad.
But it hurt so much. It hurt too much. It hurt to move. It would hurt when they’d see you. It would hurt when they’d hug you. It would physically hurt.
But enough is enough. You had had fucking enough. One can only take so much, and you had reached your tipping point.
Every single look, every touch, every scratch, it had all built up to this moment. This moment. This liberating, freeing, albeit frightening moment. There was something about this moment.
You could do nothing but sit on the porch stairs, holding your own body as the cops carried him away. You could only look, relieved but scared. You sat there for a while, just taking in the fresh air and the sun. You’d barely stepped out of the house for a couple of weeks, calling in sick from work and working from home the other days.
The flowers you took pride in tending to had long wilted, nothing but crisp carcasses waiting to be cleaned up. You could do nothing but stare, taking in the fact that now you’d have to pick up the pace. You’d have to go back to a normal life, a life where you couldn’t stay in your living room, working with a small beam of light through the gap between the drapes. You’d have to make public appearances again. You’d have to tell your friends you’re okay, whether you actually were or not.
You put your head in your hands, just wanting to forget all of this for a moment.
Ben always told you to breathe. He insisted that people find time to simply exist. Without thinking of something else. You’d never listened to him, always joking about how he should become a hippie and move into an RV in the middle of Arizona.
But right now, you could do nothing but breathe. You let out hot breaths through your mouth, gulping ever so often. You lost yourself in the sensation, not realizing that someone had walked all the way up to you, putting a hand on your shoulder.
You looked up in startlement, finding a familiar pair of green eyes looking at you in worry.
Ben raised his eyebrows on seeing you, a slight smile creeping up on his features. “You’re alive,” he breathed out, not an ounce of malice to accompany his statement.
But it hit you harder than either of you would have thought. You tried to smile, but tears were rolling down your cheeks before you could. You could do nothing but open and close your mouth, helplessness evident in your posture.
“Oh, dear,” Ben said, clearly taken aback. He sat down next to you, putting down a box he’d been holding, wrapping his arms around you. “What’s wrong?” He asked, pulling you out of his embrace.
You shook your head, unable to say anything.
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Ben cooed, wrapping his arms around you, a little too tight. You made a sound of pain, at which Ben pulled away yet again. “Y/N?” He held you out at arm’s length, raking his eyes over your body. His eyes widened on seeing the bruises on your forearms and neck. He stood up, his hands shaking as he asked, “Was it Michael?”
You didn’t say anything, simply turning your head to the floor.
“Y/N,” Ben barked, leaning down to look you in the eyes. “Was. It. Michael?” He asked again,
Your heartbeat quickens at Ben’s anger. “I’m sorry, I —”
Ben’s eyes soften immediately, slightly glossed over too. “Oh, sweetheart,” he says, his tone completely different now, pulling you up as gently as he could manage. “Come here,” he whispers, pulling you in a soft embrace, holding you like you were fragile. “Can we go inside?” He asked softly, craning his neck to look at you.
You said nothing, only following as Ben held your hand and pushed open the slightly ajar door.
Ben set you down on your couch, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head before he ventured into the kitchen, returning with a glass of water for you. Without trying to give it to you, he brought the glass to your lips, pressing his other hand to the back of your head to steady you. He set the glass down on the coffee table, kneeling between your legs. “Y/N?” He asked again, continuing when you didn’t say anything. “Y/N, please.” His voice broke on the last word. He took in a deep breath. “I need to know you’re okay, love.”
You nodded, “I’m okay.”
“Are you okay?” Ben asked again. “Really, Y/N, please be honest.” He took your hands in his. “I understand you don’t want to talk right now. Especially about… about whatever happened. But just…” He ran one hand through his hair, “Will you eat something?”
You nodded, smiling a little to ease his distress.
“Will you come to the kitchen with me?” He asked as he stood up, holding out his hand for you.
“Yeah,” you croaked, picking up the glass as you stood up too. You hadn’t made it far when the glass slipped out of your grip, shattering as it hit the floor. Your eyes widened, heartbeat increasing as you thought of what Ben would say. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’ll clean it up,” you consoled, holding your hands out in defense as you bent down to the pick up the pieces.
“Y/N,” Ben called as he crouched down with you.
“I’m doing it, Ben, just a moment.” You said again.
“Y/N, stop,” Ben said, a little firmly this time, pulling your hands away from the broken glass.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered again, unable to look him in the eye.
Ben put two fingers under your chin to get your attention, “It was an accident, right? What are you sorry about? I’ll clean it up. Let’s first get you to the kitchen, okay, sweetie?” His hands were shaking, you could see, and you were sure that it was from rage. You said nothing the entire time Ben sat you down on the stool at the kitchen counter, weeping silently as Ben went back to pick up the broken glass.
He stormed around your apartment, cleaning the glass and throwing it away, making a few trips to make sure it was all clean. He was red in the face by the time he came back to the kitchen, opening drawers and slamming cupboard doors.
Once he’d got some water in a pot presumably to make your favourite pasta, forgetting to turn on the flame, he turned around to face you, his hands resting on the counter as he breathed in and out sharply.
“Ben?” You asked, your voice meek. “Did I make you mad? By breaking the glass?” You asked, holding your hands close to your body. You were ready to apologise before Ben could say anything.
“I am mad. I am angry, Y/N. I’m pissing furious at your stupid boyfriend!” Ben snapped, his voice loud and sharp. “How fucking dare he - how could yo-“ He pulled on his hair, screaming. He made his way over to you, his eyes going wide when you flinched. “Y/N, I’m not mad at you. At all. I could never be.”
You didn’t realise you were crying until Ben was wiping tears from your cheeks. He pulled you into his chest, his shaky breaths loud in your ears. “Oh, sweets.” He cooed, letting you sob into his chest. “That’s it. Let it all out, my love.” He pressed kiss after kiss into hairline, almost as if he couldn’t contain them. He brought his hands to your cheeks, looking at you tenderly, “I promise I am never ever going to let anything happen to you again. Ever. And I don’t care if I have to go to the ends of the earth to make that happen.”
You felt a little safer in that moment alone. You knew he wasn’t lying in the slightest. You could tell he was really going to try to keep you safe. You smiled, looking down at the ground.
“There’s that million dollar smile!” Ben called out, booping you on the nose. “I love that smile so much.”
Ben was the best. Somehow these mere words were making you feel special. He always did make you feel special. And you hadn’t felt that for a long time now. You hadn’t even felt like smiling in a long while. And Ben made it seem effortless. He truly was the absolute best.
You wrapped your arms around his torso, resting the side of your face on his chest, listening to his increased heartbeat. “Ben, will you stay with me?”
“Of course,” Ben said, running a hand through your hair. “Can I ask you something? Something you won’t like?”
You let out a sound of distress, still nodding.
“Where is Michael?”
You shivered on hearing his name, your mind instantly going back to the countless times he’d made you feel worthless. “I— the cops— he’s—”
“Cops? Did you call the cops on him?” He asked, his expression a mix of relief and confusion.
“My neighbor— my neighbor saw me this morning and asked if I was okay,” you managed to get out, shaking your head to indicate you didn’t want to hear about it.
Ben let out a long sigh, bringing his arms around your shoulders. “Oh!” He tensed up suddenly, pulling out of your hug. “I made you salted caramel brownies! That’s how I found you — they’re sitting on your porch, just a minute!” He rushed out excitedly, returning a few moments later with a huge box that looked like there wasn’t any empty space in there. “For my best girl,” he smiled, putting the box down on the counter, “I know how much you love them.”
You got teary-eyed again, but this time it wasn’t out of fright, or sadness. It was because Ben was the best friend you could ever ask for. It was out of love.
“I love you, Ben.” You whispered softly, trying to ignore the visible tensing of Ben’s body at your words. “I love you. And I can’t thank you enough.”
“You don’t have to,” Ben whispered softly, walking towards you and leaning down, rubbing his nose against yours. “I’ll always be here. For you. I love you too, sweetheart.”
And he did. And he showed you that he did. He laughed with you when he realized he hadn’t turned on the flame for the pasta, then proceeding to make your favorite. He warmed up a few pieces of the brownie, watching you fondly as you ate them. He cuddled with you as you simply existed in each other’s presence. He tucked you into bed with a goodnight kiss to your forehead, smiling softly when you asked him to join you.
He held you close, and he made you feel special for the first time in a long time.
Because he loved you. So much.
forever tags: @lv7867 @multifangirl17
my tag lists are open and so are my requests! feel free to shoot me a message, i’d love to make friends! :)
being nervous as hell to meet Ben’s family ? And he is just a pure ball of fluff about it 🥺
oh yes. i’ve gone with a made up set of joneses for this one, just imagine a chaotic bunch where ben is our shy, soft little boy.
how could you not be nervous to meet ben’s parents? they were ben’s parents?
all of ben’s exes had been successful actresses and models in the past, all of them with a long list of accomplishments following them wherever you went. you were... normal. you had a normal 9 to 5, earned a normal amount, and slept in on sundays.
and ben. oh, ben. ben was extraordinary. he was just so perfect. he was the perfect boyfriend. he was just so lovely. he was kind, caring, sweet, gentle, and always strived to make you feel good and loved. ben was different from all your exes, you had a strong feeling he was the one. nay, you knew he was the one.
so, you really wanted ben’s parents and siblings to like you. you’d hoped to stick around for a while, and if they don’t like you, you might as well say goodbye to a future with ben.
and it hadn’t gone unnoticed with ben, either. he’d seen you be a nervous wreck since before you’d even gotten out of bed that morning, and not even his kisses could make you feel better. he’d watched as you fumbled with the pot of coffee, even managing to knock it over once. he’d stood by when you stood in front of your closet for a good half an hour, trying to pick an outfit that would make a good impression on ben’s family.
ben hadn’t said anything up until your car was parked outside the joneses’ house. before you could pull your keys out, ben stopped you, trying to turn your body towards his.
“look,” he sighed, licking his lips, “they’re going to love you, okay? i love you, and they will too.”
“you sisters flew in from another continent, ben, they- you don’t get it.”
“i do, monkey, didn’t the same thing happen when i met your parents?”
“but--”
“no. they will like you. you have absolutely no reason to worry.”
ben was right. you were pulled into a hug by both of ben’s parents the moment the door opened, leaving ben to scoff, because you met her five seconds ago and you’re already choosing her over me?
ben’s sisters were a goddamn joy. it was hilarious to watch on as they made fun of ben, ganging up on him and even getting you in on the fun.
you went into the kitchen to help ben’s father finish up on preparations for lunch. he stopped you before you could pick anything up, holding your wrist in his hand. “y/n,” he smiled, “you’re a really lovely girl.”
that was all it took to instantly make you feel warm and safe.
“i can tell ben really loves you.” with that, you were pulled into a second hug, ben’s father still whispering, “i have a feeling this is going to work out.”
Ooooo maybe a soft piece w ben about dancing w him one night, just like at home with a soft song
yes please, let me paint you a picture... also @killer-queen-xo i’m running with the whole monkey thing, i’m afraid skskfls
ben’s away a lot, so the the few days you do get to spend with each other every time he comes visits are jam packed with things to do. you’re rushing from cafes to libraries to bars to gardens, trying to make the most of your time together.
this particular time, however, you’ve both had enough. ben’s been around enough times to explore the night and day life of where you life, so you’ve slowed down a little bit with your hasty excursions.
you’re about to head out again, wanting to take ben out to a new bar you found with your brother, but just as you’re putting on your shoes, ben stops you, sighing.
he pulls you up to your feet, putting his hands on your waist tenderly. “can we just,” he sighs, “slow down?”
before you can say anything, he’s taking his jacket off, pulling his phone out of his pocket and thumbing away. soon enough, he’s got hozier crooning through his iphone, carelessly chucked onto your unmade bed.
“do you want to be la--”
ben’s cut you off with a kiss before you can finish, his hands coming back down to your waist. “the bar’s going to be there for a long time.”
your shoulders fall, “you’re not,” you mumble.
ben pulls you in even closer, beginning to sway with you gently. he smiles when you rest your head on his chest, “i have to go, monkey. but i’ll be back before you know it,” he says with a little cheer to his voice.
you only hum disappointedly, pulling away. you reach for his phone, wanting to put on a slightly peppier song. settling on ‘to noise making’ throw the phone back on the bed, reaching for ben’s arm again. you begin to sway more enthusiastically, trying to smile without thinking of ben’s departure in a few short days.
ben grins wide, starting to click his fingers and bop around choppily, pulling a giggle out of you. pretty soon, he’s twirling you around, dipping you sporadically, and planting kisses all over your face the way he fancies.
when the song changes to a slower one, he pulls you close and intertwines his hands at the small of your back. he sighs contently, blinking softly. “i’m right here for three more days.”
“that’s not a lot.”
“but it’s also more than one day. or two days,” ben widens his eyes goofily.
“i’ll take it,” you bite your lip, shuffling even closer to him to rest your head on his chest like before. “but you better be back soon.”
ben doesn’t say anything for a few minutes, simply enjoying a few minutes of peace with the love of his letting the calm of the soft moment wash over him.
“i’ll be back before you realize i’m gone, monkey.”
A fluffy rainy Saturday with Ben - the reader has a problem at work or something and all she wants is stay at home. Please, the more fluff - better - I have a hard time at work and need something really soft😍😍ilysm💗💗
i combined these two, and i am here for this!!!!
soft whispers and gasps. that's how the silence of these mornings is usually filled. but today, they're disappointed groans and sighs. from you and ben.
“do you have to go?” ben asks disappointedly. “who the fuck calls someone into work on a saturday?”
“yes, benny, you know i do.” you press a kiss to ben’s nose, him closing his eyes as a respnse. just as he’s about to open his mouth again, you hear the door opening. both of your eyes dart to it to see your little girl making her way into your room, a scared smile on her face.
ben sits up immediately, holding his hands out towards evie. “my baby!” he calls, smiling wide as she clambers into his lap. with her carefully tucked in the crook of her arm, he lays back down again. evie slides down his torso, giggling as she sandwiches herself between your bodies.
“good morning, sweetie,” you smile, giving her a kiss on her head, feeling her tiny fingers press into your neck as a greeting. “are you okay?”
evie furiously shakes her head, clutching onto your neck even tighter. “It’s raining,” her muffled voice says.
ben twists his body to look at the window. “oh, it is raining. Is it scaring you, baby?”
evie only nods. you have to pull her away from your chest so you can hear her speak. “what’s wrong?”
“it’ll get all dark and scary, and then thunder will come. it’s very loud.”
“you don’t ilke it?”
evie turns around to put her arms around ben this time, nuzzling into his neck. ben lets her stay there for a few minutes, before uttering, “wait a second.” he gets up out of bed, picking evie up. she puts her arms around ben’s neck instantly.
you sit up in bed too, watching as ben carries evie into the balcony in your room. you follow closely behind, standing a few feet back to watch ben interact with his daughter.
“look!” you hear him say excitedly to evie. evie — who’s been trying to hide her face in ben’s neck the whole time — looks to see ben’s hand held out. light raindrops are hitting his arm. after a few moments, he takes his arm back in, holding it in front of evie.
your heart hurts a little as you watch evie gently touch his arm, dragging a finger along the skin.
“see? i’m okay. the rain is our friend,” ben pushes evie’s hair behind her ear.
“really?”
“yeah. the rain gives our trees water. that helps them grow.”
“so it’s good for trees?”
“for all of us!”
you want to keep watching, but you have to get ready. so you head into the bathroom, wanting nothing more than to be curled up in bed with your husband and daughter.
when you head back out, completely dressed for work, ben and evie are back in bed, both of them drifting off to sleep again. you walk over to them, crouching on ben’s side of the bed. “hey,” you coo, getting ben to open his eyes. “i have to go.”
ben frowns for a moment before saying, “i understand. you have to make the money so i can be your trophy husband,” he wiggles his eyebrows.
you roll your eyes, “you know, i could quit this second, no severance, nothing, and it would still make no difference to our lives.”
“shh,” ben puckers his lips, smiling when you lean forward and kiss him softly. “now go on.”
this is my submission for the big tropey writing challenge hosted by @supersonicfreddie ! i’d love some feedback for this!
2.7k words of fluffy post-borhap ben x reader with a nice helping of joey :)
also, i have absolutely no idea how to make tea, so forgive me for any discrepancies about tea that i might have written about lol
-
Joe was a good friend. Scratch that, Joe Mazzello was an amazing friend. The best friend you could ask for. He knew it. But sometimes, he truly wished he could just lock his two brickheads of best friends in a room and have them make out till they realized they were stupidly in love with each other.
He had to face the heat from both sides. Ben would go on and on and on about how beautiful Y/N’s hair looked, how lovely she looked in that skirt, how she was so kind and sweet and fucking amazing.
And so would Y/N. Ben’s blond hair, his beautiful lips, his smooth voice, and his stupid abs.
Truly, Joe Mazzello was a trooper. He had kept at it for two years. How he did it is a mystery to all.
But here he was, sprawled out on Y/N’s bed as she made herself presentable for Ben’s arrival.
“He’s not coming over for the first time, Y/N.” Joe scoffed, his feet resting on the wall. He picked at his cuticles, listening to everything Y/N was saying. “He’s been over a million times.”
“Shut up,” Y/N mumbled half-heartedly as she came over and sat down on the bed right next to where Joe’s head was. “Don’t do that,” she tutted, swatting as Joe pulled on his cuticle. Joe rolled over on his side, propping himself up on his elbow. “All ready?”
“Yes.” Y/N smiled, flashing Joe her brightest smile.
Joe rolled his eyes playfully, sticking his tongue out as he sat all the way up. “You look beautiful all the time, and Ben sees it too. You don’t have to doll yourself up for him.”
Y/N leaned forward, resting her chin on her hand. “What if I say I’m dolling up for myself?” She wiggled her eyebrows at Joe.
Joe mirrored her actions, leaning forward himself as he commanded, “Then I’d say that lipstick isn’t dark enough, egghead.” He laughed along with Y/N, standing up as she did.
“Should I make some tea for him?” Y/N asked, only half waiting for an answer as she walked into the kitchen with Joe in tow.
“Do you even know how to make tea? Aren’t you a coffee snob?” Joe watched as Y/N filled up a mug with water and put it in the microwave. Joe chortled, “Ben is going to be downright scandalized when he sees this.”
Y/N stopped short of pressing the button, “Sees what?”
“Making tea in the microwave? You should be put behind bars!” Joe said, his British accent on point, all thanks to John Deacon. He propped himself up on the kitchen counter after busying himself with a jumbo pack of animal crackers. “I love you for keeping these for me, by the way.”
Y/N made her way over to Joe, pulling out an elephant from the jar. “Tell me how to make tea, Joe!”
“Do you have a kettle?”
“No.”
“Well, then Ben is going to have to make do with coffee.”
“I have an electric kettle.”
“Nope. Nothing but coffee’s bitter kiss for Benneth today.”
Y/N groaned, unhappy with Joe’s response. Ben still had half an hour to show up, so she pushed herself up on the counter herself, reaching in for another animal cracker just to get swatted by Joe. “Hey, I pay for these.” She argued.
“You should have thought of that before, birdie,” Joe booped her on the nose, before following the sound of the doorbell.
Y/N hung back. It was probably just a package she was expecting. But when Joe hollered for her, she got off the counter rather unceremoniously, sliding on her socks to the door.
Joe turned around, wiggling his eyebrows at Y/N as he pointed to the person at the door. “Look who it is, Y/N!”
None other than the Jones’s Ben stood in front of her — well, technically behind Joe — waving shyly.
“Hi, Y/N,” Ben greeted, letting himself in.
Joe began talking as he shut the door behind him, walking into the living room with his two best friends. “Y’know, Ben? Y/N can’t make tea.” He raised one eyebrow as Y/N scowled at him, continuing, “She was going to make it in the microwave!”
Ben opened his mouth, his eyebrows shooting up towards his hairline, before he sighed, relaxing again. “No problem, Y/N. I’ll buy you a kettle and show you how to do it,” he smiled.
Y/N could feel a blush creep up her cheeks. She needed a moment to cool off before she could behave normally in front of this handsome man. She excused herself to the kitchen, pretending she had something to take care of.
The moment Y/N had escaped to the kitchen, Ben spun on his heel, looking at Joe alarmingly. Joe was looking at Ben with narrowed eyes in return. “What?” Ben asked.
“Remember your reaction when I had tried to make you tea in the microwave? I can’t believe this.” Joe said, only partly joking as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“Ugh, shut up.” Ben snapped, sitting down on the couch next to Joe. “Did I take it too far? Am I making it too obvious that I like like her?”
Joe couldn’t help but laugh. “Like like? I swear, you’re like fifth graders.” He shook his head.
“Graders? As in plural?”
“Yeah, you and Y/N,” Joe informed like it was the most obvious thing.
“Stop teasing me!” Ben hissed, “Just tell me if I’m making it too obvious.”
“If you ask me, you’re not making it obvious enough, Benno. Y/N can you get the animal crackers on the way out?” Joe called, taking a tone of extreme nonchalance with Ben’s concern.
Ben sighed, sinking into the couch. “I just don’t want to annoy her too much.”
Joe laughed at that. He genuinely thought what Ben had said was hilarious. “Trust me, that is the last thing that she’s going to think of you.”
Y/N walked out of the kitchen just then, flinging the jar of animal crackers in Joe’s direction, shooting him a thumbs up as he caught it perfectly. She smiled at Ben, who straightened himself up at her sight, turning around again and walking into the kitchen. She fanned herself as she got over her embarrassment before getting the three mugs of coffee in her hands, precariously balanced as she tried to carry them out.
In the living room, Ben had his hands buried in his hair, his eyes narrowed. “You’re taking it too far, Ben.” He scolded himself. As he saw Y/N walking out with three mugs in her hands, he rushed up at once to help her out. He could hear himself in his head to stop being such a fucking sweetheart to her lest she finds out, but he physically couldn’t stop himself. He took two mugs from his hands, passing one over to Joe.
Y/N sat down on the floor, resting her back on the wall opposite the couch.
She could only watch as Ben stood in the middle of the room awkwardly, looking between Joe and Y/N for a good half a minute, before he decided to settle down next to Y/N.
Joe couldn't find it all more amusing if he tried. It was especially amusing today because generally it never went farther from quick smiles and batting eyelashes. But today Ben was actually doing something, no matter how tiny. His shit-eating grin only got bigger as Ben justified his reason for sitting down next to Y/N.
“Just so we can see you better, Joey,” He explained, trying to be solemn.
“Yeah, yeah, that’s a must,” Joe responded, trying to bite down on his smile as he played along. “How will the world turn if you both don’t look at me?”
Y/N actually laughed at that, giggling while Ben looked at Joe jadedly. Ben turned to look at Y/N, smiling when he saw her giggling.
“It’s funny!” Y/N said.
“Yeah, it is,” Ben smiled, “It’s funny.” He was looking at Y/N endearingly.
This only peeved Joe even more. He was so stumped that neither of these idiots could see how much they liked each other. He found it extremely puzzling. That after two years of stupid pining — pining that was quite obvious, by the way — they still couldn’t figure it out. It was going to drive him to the nuthouse if he didn’t do anything about it soon.
He decided he would try to give it a shot today. “Y/N?” He set his coffee mug down on the floor near his feet before standing up. “Could I speak to you for a minute? In private?” Joe pulled Y/N into her bedroom, shutting the door behind them.
“Yeah?” Y/N asked. She looked worried, “Did I do something?”
“Oh my god,” Joe mumbled, rubbing his fingers at his temple. “A few things. One, I need you and Ben to stop thinking you’ve done something wrong all the time - or if you’ve taken it too far - or if you’re annoying each other - or if it’s too fucking obvious to each other.” Joe groaned, trying not to let his temper rise. He loved his best friends a lot. And he only wanted the best for them. But sometimes it got a little annoying to keep up with them all the time.
Y/N’s eyes widened, taking in all that Joe was saying.
“Two, I gotta go,” Joe said quietly. He didn’t want to leave — he’d just wanted a quiet evening with his best girl — but he was sure it would do some good to her and Ben.
“What? No, don’t go, Joe!” Y/N put her hands on Joe’s arms, a distressed look on her face. “I thought we were going to spend some time together.”
“We’ll spend some time together tomorrow.” Joe smiled, “It’s Sunday, isn’t it?”
“Well, what are you gonna do, then?”
“I’m gonna pay some bills. Gonna get some work done,” he pulled the door open, holding his arm out for Y/N to walk out first. As she did, he pulled her into a hug, pressing a kiss to her head.
“We were gonna watch The Emperor’s New Groove,” Y/N mumbled.
“You can still do that with Ben,” Joe said.
“I want you there.”
“Well, then watch something else. And make use of your alone time, please,” Joe winked, grinning wide, although he felt just a little sad on the inside. The Emperor would just have to wait until tomorrow.
“Benyamo, I am going.” Joe shot Ben a salute.
“Going where?” Ben asked, getting up and walking over to Joe and Y/N.
“Going home. Got some stuff to take care of. Nothing to worry about.” Joe assured. “How much longer are you in New York?”
“Another two weeks,” Ben mumbled.
“Well, then I shall see you soon, my friend,” Joe said with finality, pulling him into a side-hug before he left.
Y/N spun to find a red-faced Ben.
Ben chuckled lightly, running a hand through his hair. “It’s just you and me, now.”
“Yup,” Y/N said softly, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Wanna watch a movie?”
“Sounds good.”
As Y/N brought out a couple of blankets and some freshly popped popcorn, Ben selected a movie. The pair sunk into the leather of the couch as the beginning of Jurassic Park played. Joe never allowed Y/N to watch movies he’d been in whenever he was around, so she’d barely seen any. Sue her for having never watched Jurassic Park.
“Aw, look at tiny Joey!” She cooed, holding a hand to her chest. Ben crunched on some popcorn as he laughed along, albeit as if he was holding back.
“Y/N, can I ask you something?” He asked, his voice strained.
“Sure,” Y/N helped, turning her body only slightly in Ben’s direction.
“Are you… never mind.” Ben mumbled, shaking his head as Y/N tried to coax him into telling. “Fine. Are you and Joe… a thing? Are you guys a thing?”
Y/N laughed, “Am I dating Joe?” She asked, her ears warming up. Her heartbeat quickened a little at Ben’s question. “No! Gosh, no.”
“No?” Ben repeated softly.
“Nope,” Y/N smiled. “I’ve known Joe since we were in diapers. He’s like my brother. I don’t have any siblings of my own, so Joe acts like one.” She shrugged, reminiscing about first meeting Joe for a quiet moment.
As if having stolen her thoughts, Ben asked Y/N, “How did you meet?”
“We lived next door. Our mothers would arrange playdates for us.” Y/N smiled, turning her attention back to the movie. She needed to see Baby Mazzello in his full potential. It was a cold night, so she rubbed her hands together to generate some heat.
She had a feeling Ben had his eyes trained on her. She couldn’t shake the feeling, so she turned to look at him herself, chuckling, “It’s cold, isn’t it?”
Ben nodded, pursing his lips together. He opened his mouth, closing it before opening it again. He unfurled his arm, inviting Y/N to shift closer. “Would you mind?” He asked, biting down on his bottom lip.
Y/N felt the loud thudding of her heart. Despite herself, she shook her head, “Not at all.” She scooted closer, letting Ben’s arm wrap around her shoulders. He rubbed his hand up and down, looking down at Y/N with a smile, getting a smile in return.
Y/N decided to test the waters even further. She leaned into Ben’s arm, letting her body relax. “Tell me if it’s too much.”
“Never.” Ben said, turning his attention back to the movie.
Y/N was starting to get extremely comfortable, wrapped in a blanket and Ben’s warm embrace. She leaned her head on Ben’s shoulder, closing her eyes.
“You’re not going to watch?” Ben asked in a laugh.
“I’m getting sleepy.” She answered.
“Should I pause it then? So you can continue later?”
“You can watch it, if you’d like.” Y/N assured Ben. “Don’t stop on my account.”
“No,” Ben laughed, “I’ve seen it before. I don’t mind just sitting here. Unless you want me to leave.” He added the last sentence as an afterthought.
Y/N laughed. “Do you want to go back to your cold hotel bed, Ben?” She looked up at him through hooded eyes, the beat of her heart loud in her ears. She felt a warm coiling in her stomach. Her toes felt funny. A nice funny.
“You’re very close to my face,” Ben whispered, disregarding Y/N’s earlier question.
Y/N nodded, whispering back, “Yeah.” She licked her lips, “I like you, Ben.” She fluttered her eyelashes close.
Ben’s eyes went wide. “Really?”
Y/N nodded. “You don’t have to say anything.” Even through all the sleepiness, she hated this sudden surge of confidence her body had decided to send her. She still felt like getting up, locking herself in her room and screaming into her pillow till she couldn’t. But for some stupid reason, to her, it looked like her chances were not all that bad right now. So she stayed put.
“No,” Ben countered, bringing his hand to Y/N’s chin. “I like you too,” he whispered, closing his own eyes. He pressed a kiss to her nose; the gentlest of kisses. It was almost only a brush of his lips. He brought his lips on her then, simply pecking once again.
Y/N didn’t take it any further either. She simply lost herself in the feeling of Ben’s warmth, his lips, his touch. She felt her crush reciprocated, and it felt fucking amazing.
She settled back down, pressing play on the movie, leaning her body on Ben’s. She could feel Ben’s body shake — one quick look told her it was from happiness. Ben pressed one final kiss to the top of her head, mumbling, “Today’s a good day.”
And Y/N agreed. A good day was what it was.
forever tags: @lv7867 @multifangirl17 i’m also tagging @supersonicfreddie once again for good measure lol
my tag lists are open and so are my requests! feel free to shoot me a message, i’d love to make friends! :)
@killer-queen-xo requested this too, thanks, ladies!!
Angst 10: “Do you even still love me?”
Ben had been in your room for hours. It was starting to get difficult to give him his space now.
He’d come home from his trip to his parents’ about six hours ago, and — without a proper greeting to you — had locked himself in your room demanding some ‘alone time.’ You knew not to argue with that. We all have our days, and if Ben was feeling like he needed some time to himself, you’d give him that.
But it was starting to get tough. Not one sound had come out of the room. Maybe he had fallen asleep or…
No. No. Nothing had happened. Ben was just fine.
Only… drained from his trip. Yeah.
It was the loud thud that came from the room that was impossible to ignore. You shut your laptop, getting up quickly. You knocked on your door four times, following it up with a, “Benny?”
You were sure you heard a sniffle. “Benny? Baby?”
“No,” was all Ben said. He clearly was not ready to see you yet.
“Baby,” you hesitated, “I… need my laptop charger. It’s on my nightstand.”
The door opened, and there stood Ben, looking run down as ever. His eyes were bloodshot, nose and cheeks red, and his hands shook at his sides. “Please take it and go,” he whispered.
“No.” When Ben looked up at you, he looked miserable. “Ben, please.”
“What?” If you were any farther away from Ben, you’d have missed what he said completely.
“Please, can we talk?”
Ben’s eyes widened at that, his head shaking lightly, “What about?”
“Just… things? We should talk.”
Ben visibly hesitated. He took a few steps back, as if trying to get away from you.
“Benny, I’m on your side, baby.” You cooed, holding one hand out to him, “Please?”
After a few minutes of coaxing, Ben was finally laying on the bed, his head in your lap. He had his eyes closed as he let you run your fingers through his hair, and you could tell it was helping to soothe him.
“Benny, something’s wrong, isn’t it?” You sighed when your boyfriend shook his head like a petulant child. “I know something’s wrong Ben, it pains me to see you like this.”
“You don’t want to know.”
“I really do.”
Finally, Ben’s soft voice spoke up, “My parents.”
“What about them?” You knew there were unresolved matters amongst themselves, and those sometimes took their toll on Ben’s mental health. “Are they okay?”
“The entire time I was there,” he choked out, “they just fought. I was there to see them, and all they did was fight about things. About how I was the way I was because of the other.”
You could only manage a soft, “What?” as you waited for Ben to continue.
“It’s like,” he let out a loud sob, fisting the material of your shirt tight in his hands. “It’s like they hate the person I am. The person I’ve become.”
“N—”
“It’s like they hate me, Y/N.”
Ben was in pain. You could see it. He was hurting, and it was because of the two people who were supposed to love him the most. His body shook as he cried, his face buried into your side. As you rested your hand on his neck, you could feel the intense heat.
“Benny,” you tried, trying to get him to sit upright.
“No, it’s not fair!” Ben shouted, sitting up straight all of a sudden. “Why does everyone get amazing childhoods with amazing parents and I get people who hate me.”
“They don’t—”
“I just feel like such a failure around them.”
You didn’t know there were tears in your eyes till there was one rolling down your cheek. You kept quiet, since you didn’t want to trigger Ben further.
“Y/N?” Ben asked slowly. Almost meekly.
“Yeah, baby?” Your voice was soft, an attempt at comforting Ben the best you could.
“Do you even still love me?”
“What?” Your head had snapped toward Ben incredulously before you could stop yourself.
“I’m sorry, I just really really need to kn—” Ben couldn’t finish, because before he could, you had pulled his hands to your chest. You pressed a small kiss to the knuckles of each hand. “I’m sorry,” Ben whispered once more, unable to make eye contact with you.
“Ssh, Benny, no,” you cooed, scooting closer till you were able to wrap your arms around him and pull him into your chest, “I love you so much. More than you even know.”
Ben nodded with his face buried in the crook of your neck, his hands coming to grip your sides. “I’m sorry.”
“No, baby, you don’t have to be sorry. We all have our moments. But I’m here for your moments. For all of them. For the good and the bad.”
It sounded like Ben let out a happy sound, still stuck in a sob. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, Ben.” You pried his face from your neck, holding it tenderly with both hands. Your thumbs swiped under his eyes, wiping away stray tears. “I love you.” You smiled, connecting your foreheads.
“I love you, Y/N, you’re the best.” Ben smiled back as he pressed a small kiss to your lips.
