#boston driving

[myoldpseudonym]

In my Boston driving revenge fantasies, I dress up in a really sexy outfit. Then I go to the intersection by the Museum of Science and the old Prison Point Bridge, where motherfuckers block the box like they're some jolly u-boats trying to stop the British. I lean seductively in the drivers side window of an asshole's motionless car and say as sexily as possible, "Hello, douchecanoe. Did you know you were blocking the box like a gigantic asshat? I hope you starve to death on a reality show no one watches." Then I leave a passive aggressive sticky on his windshield so that he can't see and has to get out to take it off and everyone points and yells at the box-blocker. I have honed this fantasy over many years and know exactly what I'd wear. (I don't have nearly as satisfying a fantasy for women, which, I know, makes my revenge daydreams very problematic.)

[sidknee23]

New Favourite Traffic Insult! Maybe Best Ever...

Although we have a fridge full of meat and potatoes, The Silverback was craving a curry. I figured mixing things up a bit was a good idea as well.

We have a decent curry house within walking distance of the loft. But one must remember that The Silverback hails from the region of England also known as “The Curry Capital”. Not just any curry will do… And we get confused as to which chef works which night at our local. So, we now always head over to his all-time favourite curry house in Central Square, Cambridge.

The trip over was uneventful. Curry was ready to go when we arrived, minimising double-park time on busy Mass Ave! I decided to just drive home straight down Mass Ave. back to the loft.

Yeah, it’s Friday night in Boston - and Mass Ave. was pretty much a parking lot. But we weren’t in a rush… Just needing to make sure I didn’t hit any pedestrians!

Came to the intersection at Boylston and began to scoot to the right to avoid left-turning traffic. I even had my indicator on! Out of nowhere comes this silver mini-van all up in my grill on the right. Then we hear, “What kind of blood clot driving is that?!?” In a thick Jamaican patois… And look over to see the cutest heavily dreaded man driving the mini-van.

The Silverback and I cannot help but to smile at the dude! He then smiles back at us, but makes sure to cut me off from the right! We still don’t know what the hell is “blood clot driving”! We’ve never heard it before and doubt we will ever hear it again! Oh, but we are thinking of using it, though! The Silverback does a good patois accent - he’ll have to yell the line at an offending driver.

Yep, Friday night in the big city! Oh, curry was fucking awesome!

[t1dme]

...and he's still a better driver than most Bostonians