Maybe a Story

"Someone?" That's an exact description of me!

[myoldpseudonym]

my smut blog is lewdpseud and everybody should be getting off to it!

[ltwilliammowett]

Pride of Baltimore II

📷 @jefcrosby

[peixesoluvel]

The greatest

[luntfontanne]

damn he really is an all-time poster

[blessyouhawkeye]

forever thinking about that girl at my uni orientation who, after being told to pour out her water bottle before entering an event, looked at me and said "they tell us to stay hydrated and then make us pour out our water, this is like totally kafkaesque" and then poured out what was very obviously an entire water bottle full of whiskey. hope she's doing well.

[evilwizard]

Dude. DUDE. HUMPTY DUMPTY JUST FELL. YOU NEED TO SEE THIS ALL THE KINGS MEN ARE THERE TRYING TO GET HIM BACK TOGETHER. THIS IS SO FUCKED DUDE. IM SO SCARED. HE'S DEAD

🖐️ stand aside. only the court necromancer can save him now. we must pray his body isn’t too broken…

[evilwizard]

WTF are the horses doing

[horse-is-a-horse-of-course]

i don't fucking know i tried my best but i think we made it worse with our big hooves

[evilwizard]

WHY WERE YOU INVOLVED AT ALL ??

[horse-is-a-horse-of-course]

i don't knowwww *kicks in frustration and hits humpty dumpty again* fuckkkkkkk

[evilwizard]

STOP

[innerchildabortionclinic]

genuine all-timer to me

[pansy2025]

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

[swarnpert]

they are starving the children of boston right now

[myoldpseudonym]

and? They deserve it for how bad the Sox are playing

[shopcat]

look at this wonderful gif of scallops getting scared and scattering like a flock pigeons

[elioftheasphodel]

whatever. go my scallops

[whitachi]

last night I had the experience of "referencing a tumblr post that you think is widely known but turns out to not be as widely known as you thought it was" last night and it was this post. whatever. go my scallops

[femmenietzsche]

When the ennui starts to hit in the sixth millennium of Claudetopia <<<<<<<<<<<

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

explaining to a ClaudeTherapist that the past few decades of playing video games and doing designer drugs and frolicking naked through the fields with all my friends hasn't been hitting like it used to, and it's taking a while to respond so i check the chain of thought even though you're not supposed to, and all it says is "the fuck is this guy's problem"

[intimate-mirror]

Happy Easter!

[gunsandfireandshit]

[boltlightning]

can everyone do me a favor and tell me your favorite thing to put on toast in the tags

[boltlightning]

i love this post so much. all the replies are like

"i'm so basic.....i just like a lot of butter or jam :(" (as though those are not god's best and most beloved condiments and his greatest gifts to mankind)

"FUCK health guidelines FUCK my cholesterol and most importantly FUCK diet culture i'll put a dumpster full of butter on my toast and not even GOD will stop me" (no notes. god would encourage this)

doxxing one's self by mention of polarizing regional delicacies (i am so curious about vegemite i must admit)

"does a grilled cheese count as toast?" (not for the purposes of this post)

"i don't like toast please don't kill me" (i appreciate the honesty but i fear this post is not for you)

people who put full ass meals on toast (based)

people who do not but eat toast as a full meal (based)

melty peanut butter (absolutely based)

"it's a guilty pleasure but...nutella 😳" (relieve yourself of fear and enjoy your dessert toast)

special shoutout to the pots-havers adding extra salt. also the one person who mentioned kaya. i see you and am in agreement

[thisuneasymist]

As this is my Toast I put kisses on the lines between his little ears

[womaninbed]

Evening dress of blue silk damask and pearls (1860s) at the Gothenburg City Museum.

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[dramatic-dolphin]

btw i am such a bad metric for "all strangers are friendly and mean no harm" because i just genuinely never feel threatened by strangers, and 'feel' is the operative word here. someone could pull a loaded gun on me and 3 minutes later i'd be making a tumblr post like "just got threatened with a gun at mcdonalds, can't have shit in budapest"