#boyboss

[widebruh]

[makesomenoise]

To all the little boys and very old men out there - you CAN achieve! #BoyBoss

[tonsillessscum]

Stole the w/o guards image from @reeveskryze

I hope you find this hilarious.

[kagdowo]

i think i got this flirting thing down pat

[garfpilled]

we did it boys

@ask-spiderpool

[american-boyboss]

[xxxuselesstwinkxxx]

[sek-rap]

Hi!! For the ship thing could I humbly request 17 with Barnes, Cel, and Carter? (If not all three then Barnes and Carter is fine, I just love the three of them)

The sound of keys scraped inside the lock.

“They’re home!?” Carter squawked, promptly shushed by Barnes’ hand over his mouth.

“You hide this, I will deal with Cel,” Barnes said, all steely determination, launching to his feet and making it to the door in three strides.

He grabbed the doorknob at Cel swung the door open, using his body to block their view into the flat. Barnes could hear Carter scrambling behind him and chose to beam at Cel’s reddened face, their nose and cheeks bright from the sharp wind outside. “Oh!” They proclaimed happily, caught awkwardly midstride, but Cel happily tossed their arms around Barnes’ neck and gave him a squeeze.

“What a nice welcome!” Cel said, Barnes quickly lifting them off their feet and swinging them into the flat. Cel gave a shrieking laugh. “I was only gone for the, the afternoon!”

“Too long,” Barnes said, and he took Cel’s face between his hands and kissed them as he kicked the door shut.

“Hmm-mm—” Cel murmured against his mouth, still smiling, and Barnes peaked an eye open to look at the kitchen table, which was still messily covered in wrapping paper, ribbon, and the antique cascading lenses Carter had scored for Cel’s big Christmas gift.

“What—what’s the occasion?” Cel asked, eyes bright and happy as they grabbed Barnes’ arms and pushed him an arms length away.

“Just—um—” Barnes stuttered as Carter, on feet lighter than feathers, skidded out of the bedroom and lunged for the kitchen table behind Cel’s back. He grabbed a flat sheet of wrapping paper and yanked it towards himself, but the box containing the lenses was heavier and tumbled to the ground.

“Oh, what was that?” Cel asked, reaching up to untether their scarf and look over their shoulder.

“Let me help you!” Barnes said a bit louder than he meant to, grabbing Cel’s scarf and hooking it over their eyes. “Oh—!” They yelped, stumbling backwards, and Barnes caught them with an arm around their waist. “Caught on my watch, sorry, just a moment—”

“James—” Cel laughed, throwing the “caught” scarf over their head just as Carter disappeared back into the bedroom. They turned before they caught sight of the ribbons and the fallen box to put their hands on Barnes’ chest. “What—are we—what’s going on here?”

“Nothing,” Barnes lied, like a liar, as he wrapped his arms around Cel’s waist and tugged them in. “Just—happy to see you.”

“I’m happy to see you too,” Cel giggled, and they reached up and pat Barnes’ cheek. “You are red.”

“You are too,” Barnes huffed, finally recognizing the heat in his face. He pressed the back of his hand against Cel’s cold face. “You’re bloody frozen.”

Cel raised a suspicious eyebrow. They started to turn, so Barnes turned with them, trying to keep them out of range on the box still on the floor. At the same moment they turned, Barnes spotted a white flash of hair duck behind their kitchen divider where the kitchen table was pressed, Carter’s shadow stretching out across the floor underneath it. Barnes hoped that Cel wasn’t seeing what he was seeing, because they were scanning the kitchen for some awry. “Is Howard home?”

Final resort, Barnes curled around the back of Cel and kissed their neck. “Could I warm you up?”

“You’re up to something,” Cel said, but they leaned against Barnes’ chest.

“Me? Never,” Barnes kissed them again and smiled at their cold nose against his cheek. One more time, he peeked, and Carter was successfully rushing Cel’s gift into a hidey hole in the bedroom.

When Cel and Barnes parted, Cel looked at their living area one more time before stepping out of Barnes’ arms and calling through the flat. “Howard?”

“Yeah!?” Carter shouted back from the bedroom. He stepped out wrestling the ugliest Christmas sweater made of chunky, itchy knit with a colour pattern that was plain offensive to the eyes, his hair suddenly damp. “Hello, lovely.”

Barnes could tell that Cel was a little stunned and a lot confused, but they just shook their head and grinned. “I-I know something is going on here!”

“Something what?” Carter asked, stepping up to peck Cel’s lips. He pushed his hair out of his face and looked at Barnes. “Something happen while I was showering?”

“No,” Barnes grinned. “Nothing at all.”