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This week is Peace Corps Week and it marks the 4 year anniversary of my COS (Close of Service) from Panama 🇵🇦. What a life changer. Here are photos that bring me take me back to my time there. Either interacting with youth, Mi Pueblo ( muchos gracias a mi tierra PORTOBELLILO), or my fellow PCVs. It's the hardest job you'll ever love and I'm grateful. #peacecorps #peacecorpsweek #peacecorpspanama #3rdgoal #bpcv #panama #nostalgia #friends #travel (at Clayton, Panamá)
11 years in the making.
11 years in the making.
I have never been known for having a good memory. My older brother would get upset with me when he would start reminiscing about good ole days, and I couldn’t remember the slightest details. He can recall Christmases from when we were in diapers, road trips across the country, and what pizza toppings were on a pizza during a family movie night in 1996. Even if I exhaustively jog my memory, I come…
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Acting Against Malaria is a project I designed to empower school aged girls through public speaking while at the same time using their empowerment to educate the public on the dangers of malaria. Each girl that the staff at CEG Titirou and I selected, perform extremely well academically and portray leadership skills. I started working with them in February after their selection, when they attended a training on malaria that allowed them to develop the skit that we will use for performances. Yesterday, after months of practice and preparation, my girls group finally performed their first malaria prevention skit. We definitely were not expecting the turn out that we got, over 200 students, but after a rocky start and a change of venue the girls did an amazing job!!! #PCBenin #LetGirlsLearn #GirlsEmpowerment #BPCV #howiseepc
“Sometimes it feels like someone else is wearing my body.”
It’s been six months.
Six months of laughter, joy, sadness, loneliness, gratitude, wholeness, satisfaction, belonging. It’s been six months of nothing but overwhelming emotions.
The past three months i’ve been teaching in my very rural village in the Volta Region. My mornings begin with opening my front door and letting Sarabi out to stretch her legs. I then make her breakfast and make a cup of Nescafe, one cedi bread, and ground nut paste (peanut butter) for myself. On my way out, i see my neigbours making the banku hunched over a charcoal stove with faces glimmering with evidence of their hard morning. On the way to school, Sarabi and I are greeted by the faces of children and adults as they make it to their various destinations. The children yell “Madam, good morning” and i respond with the usual “Maakye, ete sen?”. Others yell, “Sarabi, Sarabi” while she looks towards the sound of her name and runs towards that person.
The school day is long but i always feel a sense of both accomplishment and “what the hell are you doing here” Math is no doubt a tough subject to learn so i understand their frustrations. Being their teacher has taught me patience more than anything else. I’ve learned to be patient with my students and not get frustrated, no matter how many times i have to repeat myself, and i’ve also learned to be patient with myself. Navigating the language, as well as being a first time teacher in a different country really alters your sense of reality. everything is challenged and you’re left feeling like “What the f**K????!!!” Then there are those moments that really reassure my decision of being here.
One day after finishing my lesson plans for the week, I requested permission from the ICT teacher to take the form 1 and form 2 students to the computer lab. It's not located on school grounds, so most of the students have never visited it, meaning they've never had access to the computers that have been in the town. I'd been informed that the computer lab had been in the town for a bit over a year and i found it strange, and even as a misuse of resources to have computers, and have them go unused.
When it was time for ICT, i gathered the form 1's and we walked to the community center, where the computer lab is located. I collaborated with the primary ICT teacher to have access to the computer lab and to assist the students to power up the devices. I really did not have a plan of action, so i was just going with the flow. I decided to teach them the basics of typing. I was going to teach them where their fingers go on the keyboard. Once in the lab, the atmosphere changed and it was filled with excitement. I paired the students 4 to a computer and instructed them on how to open Microsoft word. Once opened, we reviewed which fingers went on which letters on the keyboard and instructed them to practice writing their names one at a time. Once everyone had a turn, i instructed them to write out a sentence using the same method of typing and to practice it three times.
Once they had the basics down, i let them have free time to explore the other capabilities of the computer. Naturally, they found the games and all 20 students were playing solitaire or chess. Once the lesson was over, we walked back to the school and decided to ask them how i was performing as a teacher. Almost in unison, they replied with "Madam, you're a good teacher. I know you don't feel like that sometimes but you are. We are just bad students". And that's when i started to cry.
Last week we had our Reconnect, when Peace Corps brings all the volunteers in your cohort together for a week to discuss how the last three months at site have been. It was wonderful to see them all again and pick their brains on what worked in their classrooms and what still needed improvement. We swapped stories of new pets, new friendships formed, new projects in the works, and foreseen projects in the future. Hearing their stories made me want to be a more proactive member of my community. It also made me realize that just teaching is ok. Everything else will fall into place and i’m ok with that.
I spend a lot of time thinking about the type of volunteer i want to be. Sometimes i get lost in my brain a bit and have to claw my way out cause i can go to some pretty dark spaces and it alters my mental and emotional well being. But when i do find that place to critically think about my role here. It both excites me and saddens me.
“is my role here beneficial to my students?”
“what am i really contributing?”
“I miss wifi”
“Should i just go home?”
“Where did that bite come from?”
“ Have i taken my malaria medication?”
“I haven’t pooped all week. Should i be worried?”
These are the questions i ask myself regularly. However, i’m in a good place both mentally, emotionally, and physically. I’m happy, healthy is on a spectrum at the moment, and at peace with my decision to be here.
“be easy. take your time. you are coming home. to yourself. — the becoming”
The end of September marks my fourth month in Ghana. Saying that it's been a roller coaster would be simplifying things. In the middle of August, my cohort and I had our Swearing In Ceremony and transitioned from Trainees to Volunteers. Since then, I have moved to my permanent home on the east side of Ghana in the Volta Region.
In the month leading to the reopening of the school year, I moved to my new place. It's a compound with three other families on the outskirts of town. An elegant white building with magnificent orange and plantain trees. The entrance to my doorway is lined with gravel laced with weeds trying to make their way to the surface. My two roomed space has become my sanctuary. It is a multipurpose room serving as my bedroom, kitchen, library, closet, office, and tv room. I'm lucky enough to have a bathroom inside so there is no need for visits outside my little sanctuary. I've spent this time painting the walls, building a desk and shelf combo, and a kitchen table.
The first week of school was uneventful, but it allowed me some time to really reflect on how I wanted to run my classroom. I am teaching form 1 through form 3, the equivalent of classes 7-9 in the States. The students spent the first week weeding the compound of the school and cleaning the classrooms. Meanwhile, the teachers planned their lesson plans and made last minute adjustments to the lessons they would soon be giving. The second week marked the official beginning of the learning process. Since math is a core subject in the Ghanaian school system, the students are required to have it daily. Teaching three classes a day, back to back, has proven to be exhausting. Although I love my students, being a teacher is hard. It gives me a much more sympathetic outlook for all the crap I gave my teachers and professors.
When i'm not in school, I TRY my best to make my way around my community. I live in a small town surrounded by hills, valleys, and mountains. It's extremely beautiful it actually makes me emotional. I get to school before 7:30 and before the fog in the skies clears. When the mountains are peaking outside the mist, I often have to pinch myself. Sometimes it feels like a dream that I somehow managed to be here. I'm not going to lie and say that the ride to my little sanctuary is not extremely bumpy and often makes me question if I want to leave cause the ride is long and painful, but i'm here, and I regret nothing.
I got a puppy and she's the cutest. I've always wanted a puppy but let's face it, I can barely take care of myself, I know this, and more importantly, my mom knows this *laugh here* So growing up I never got a puppy, not because I didn't want one, but mom seems to always have her way. So naturally I came to Ghana and defied her *evil laugh*. I got her during my site visit 5 weeks into training. From the moment I saw her, I loved her. I'd been fighting with what to name her, and while I was alone in my room, watching The Lion King for the *th time, it hit me. So Sarabi became her name. I grow to love her with each passing day, but test my patience she does. I found the wires of my new fan chewed and my phone charger hanging by a thread. I have since learned my lesson and keep them at bay. Sarabi enjoys walks to see her mom, defying the trap I set for her at home so she follows me to school, almost getting run over by motos and cars, peanut butter, eggs, fish, chewing my shoes and anything that dangles, and biting my fingers and toes.
I've been into making lists lately so here are a few
Things i've cooked
Homemade corn tortillas
Banana bread in my rice cooker
Corn bread in my rice cooker
Nutella pancakes
Onion Rings
Things I want to do in my home
Draw murals on my wall
Grow veggies/fruits/herbs
Tile my bathroom
Get a nice rag
Things I want to start doing
Blogging frequently
KeEping a journal
Read more
Write more
Work on my Beyonce body goals or (BBG)
Become a better teacher
April Showers Bring May Flowers
The past five months have singlehandedly been the most stressful of my entire existence. April however, was the hardest. This month has been a happy one in the past as it is my birthday month, and I try to enjoy myself the entire month. To quote Donna and Tom from Parks and Recreation , it’s my “treat yo self” month. This year though, I was running around like a headless chicken frantically worrying about whether or not I would finish my thesis and whether or not it would lead to an on timely graduation.
I somehow managed to get my life together cause I graduated with POTUS as my commencement speaker. Since graduation, I’ve been spending copious amounts of time with my family and best friends and doing things that make me happy. So here’s a list of things that have happened this month.
Costa Rica #puravida
Washington DC #lasttimeseeingmysisterandbrother
Graduation #callmeMaster
POTUS speaking at commencement #beconfidentinyourblackness
Mothers Day #wakabaclanreunited
Packing #imagoodperaonidontdeservethis
Packages #amazonmakemeyourspokeswoman
Seeing my best friends #blackgirlmagic
Beyonce #istayinformation
Staging #lifeiscalling
Ghana #itsGhanabegreat
57 days!!!
It’s almost time for staging and i can honestly say that i haven’t had a chance to live with the reality that i will be in Ghana for 27 months.
The past couple of months have been filled with nothing but dread and anxiety as i wrote my masters thesis. It’s taken so much out of me mentally and emotionally because the thought of not graduating fills me up with so much dread sometimes it’s suffocating. I’m happy to say that i am now done with the written portion and i’m awaiting my defense which will be in less than a months time and i can’t even begin stressing about that at the moment.
I need to take time and be prideful in that i’ve gotten this far without having a complete breakdown. Since 2016 is the year of me, i’ve been treating myself to new travel destinations and trips. Before i depart, i would have been to Vegas (still drunk from that, it was that lit), Costa Rica, seen my bae Beyonce, and seen the most important people in my life.
As the days before staging get shorter and shorter, i’d like to really be in a state of mind that lets me enjoy the process that is prepping for this next venture and truly being in the moment by myself and/or with those around me
. . .
bakit ba ganyan? okay naman ako e. kaso ikaw. yan. anu na naman tinanong mo, napaisip na naman ako at naalala ko lahat ng sakit. so after nating maging lovers gusto mo maging bestfriends tayo? siguro para sayo madali lang yun. pero para saken hindi. as if naman matuturingan kitang bestfriend.. anu yon, ibababa ko yung pagtrato ko sayo. sa bagay. right now, friend ang turing ko sayo. yun ang unang pinag-usapan natin. pinipigilan kong haluin ng love. dahil parang goodbye na sakin yun. oo, goodbye na. iba na talaga pakikitungo ko sayo. first time kitang tinanggihan ngayon at ang sakit sakit. haaay. kung di moko kinakausap okay naman ako e, kaso... naman..ayoko putulin yung connection natin talaga. ayoko ring maging bestfriends tayo kasi pinangako ko sa sarili ko na hindi ako magkakaroon ng bestfriend na lalaki. dahil baka mainlove ako at mahirap daw yon. chaka madaming experiences mga friends ko tungkol sa ganyan. at iba pamo sitwasyon natin, mahal kita e. hindi as a friend. pangalawang reason is, gusto kong magkalayo na muna tayo para mag grow din tayo. kasi tingin ko, hanggang nandito ako, naiispoil kita. wala tayong improvements. haaay! naiinis ako na naiiyak. i was very okay this past days.. pero ngayon.. ewan ko na.. help me Lord...
