Eleanor: Uh, hey. How do I even begin this? Um, I miss you. I really do. I've missed you for a long time. I know it's been a long time because I've gotten drunk only twice. And both of those times, I wasn't able to forget about you. You've made a place for yourself in my heart and my mind and now, in heaven. And I miss you. And I'm sorry we couldn't be friends the way we used to be before I went ahead and messed it up with three stupid words. I've always had a habit of defending tragedies, because as humans, we do everything in the pursuit of happiness and we're convinced that if there was not such thing as tragedy we'd be happy; therefore, we rid ourselves of every piece of evidence that tragedy even existed. I digress. I miss you. And I really wish you were still here. You don't even need to be next to me, or even in the same building. Just knowing that I live on the same earth as you makes my heart race and my palms sweat and now it feels like all of my organs can't function correctly. I'll be honest: you're the only man I ever loved. Romantically, at least. As a young girl I had always believed that I would one day live in a big home with a nice husband and three kids. But here I am, single, with a degree, and living in the same apartment with crappy windows. And there you are, not here. I still have some kind of hope for the future, I think. I probably should, right? Um, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. For what, I don't know. But I feel like I need to apologize to you a million times and then maybe a billion more. Um, I love you. And I have so much to say to you. But now that I'm half-speaking to you, I can't fathom any words. So, bye. I love you.
