♚ || ☆ || ✉
♚ : for a confessing voicemail
I think I just accidentally live tweeted a Taylor Swift concert? They weren’t happy tweets either, like, I don’t mind a little Taylor, like I love it but like I thought it was just my noisy neighbor, but apparently she’s having a concert in the city. You would know about that, right? You’re probably there, that’s why you’re not answering.
☆ : for a drunken voicemail
You think I’m attractive, right? I mean, I am attractive, right? Can you come tell these people that. Like, they won’t believe me? Like I think they’re blind. Come knock some sense into them, you’re muscly and intimidating. Tell them I’m attractive!
✉: for a ‘BIG NEWS!’ voicemail
So, I forgot what I was originally calling for, so I guess I’ll just tell you about how I just saw Fifty Shades of Grey with a bunch of old ladies, and let me tell you they’re all so dirty. I mean, who knew that the biggest pervs were a bunch of sixty year old, nice old ladies? I mean, this is the best news I’ve ever gotten, I thought I would share it with you since I lost my original train of thought. Alrighty, talk to you later.