Personal Journey of Redwall
Today is the day that Mr. Jacques passed away and went on to the Dark Forest, Heaven, place of resting, however one might want to describe it. I regret his death more than anything in the world, and not just because as a fan I would love to have more Redwall books---that will not be the case---but truly the reason why I regret his death more than anything in the world is because I never got to tell him just how much his books meant to me as a child, as a teenager, and as an adult. How they changed me for the better; how they taught me values; his books, his characters, he himself, directly influenced so much in my life.
I was 6 years old when I started on my journey of Redwall. I fell in love so quickly with the characters, the stories, the plot, the world, the language, the visuals...Redwall was to me what Harry Potter is to others. As I grew older, my love for reading and writing grew stronger and I fell away from Redwall and found other things, but Redwall was always in the back of my mind, espcially with the TV show, which I watched religiously.
Things changed when I read “Martin the Warrior”. I was 10 years old and so emotionally upset and hurt by the death and loss of characters like Rose and Felldoh that I could no longer read Redwall. I had to take a break. I didn’t try it again until I was 13, and when I read more characters dying, I decided that this was enough for me, I would no longer read such fantasy novels where favorite characters died, and buried that part of my life and tried to focus on “being an adult” (I WAS STUPID AS FUCK OKAY I WAS 13 AND BELIEVED WHAT MASS MEDIA WAS TELLING ME ADULTS ACTED LIKE I AM NOT PROUD OF THIS). However, ironically enough, through the means of another franchise, I rediscovered Redwall when I was 15, and i twas like coming home; there is no other words to describe that rush, that feeling. I REALLY battled depression between the ages of 15-20. Redwall carried me through those times along with other books and characters of different franchises I found along the way. I got to the point where I had to move around so much that I had to leave the books behind and for awhile, again, they were forgotten.
Last year I met the wonderful and amazing @willzgirl, who has become such a close and amazing friend that I cannot imagine life without her. She helped me to rediscover the love of Redwall and encouraged me to follow so many wonderful blogs here on tumblr that are Redwall related. I was shy and nervous and admired from afar for the longest time and then slowly stuck my neck out, shared headcanons, stories, ideas and since then have had the honor of meeting so many fantastic people in this fandom---you are all truly a blessing and amazing, please don’t ever forget that.
This past semester I had the horrendous loss of losing a dear friend, @soaringal001, to a tragic car accident. A dear friend who I too, ignored, like Redwall, when other things came along in life. We both were growing our different ways, but she had helped me so much during my Freshman year...I should have told her more how much her positivity and kindness helped me to choose to stay in college when I was an outcast and an unaccepted member in this new society of living that I had found myself in. She took me under her wing for a bit and then we went our own ways and I all but forgot her kindness until she was taken away from me and I regret it everyday even now. I have been struggling with depression so badly, because things that I have forgotten, things that I forced myself to ignore, have been surfacing and bringing up their ugly heads; things I haven’t thought about in years, and it is a weight and makes it hard to breathe---and to be honest, I have been in chronic pain and have had a chronic illness solidly for the past near four years now. I have forgotten what it’s like not to be in constant pain. Some days are better then others. And others...I can’t leave bed. Couple that with depression and it has been really rough. You all, Redwall Fandom, have been helping me to stay positive and motivated. Re-reading the Redwall Books, has regiven me inspiration. I remembered why I wanted to be a writer. I remember why I create the things I do. And while I love TMNT, Fairy Tail, Undertale, and other fandoms, none will ever be home like Redwall will be, and this is all because of a wonderful, selfless man who created a book for young blind children to immerse themselves in.
God Bless you Brain Jacques. You have changed so many lives far more than you could have ever imagined.