#brandy purdy

[eve-to-adam]

Okay, okay, okay. I usually try not to criticize historical fiction books out of principle, but… I just read "The Boleyn Bride" by Brandy Purdy and I don't know what traumatized me more - Anne Boleyn's sixth finger, her erotic dance in front of the Court, Henry VIII raping Jane Seymour while she was unconscious, the affair between Jane Boleyn and Thomas Cromwell, or the lesbianism between Anne of Cleves and Katherine Howard.

Like, bruh, the author has collected all the bad rumors/scripts and defamations from history and put them together in one book.

Wattpad, get out of Brandy Purdy!

[bunniesandbeheadings]

This is about Napoleon’s wife, Josephine, and Nakşidil Sultan, a contemporary valide sultan of the Ottoman Empire who, according to legend (it’s hard to substantiate a lot of the backgrounds of valide sultans) was a French slave in the harem who rose to be queen mother

Which sounds like a cool novel idea, to have a parallel lives thing

But like. I’m leery because if you didn’t know, Brandy Purdy rather infamously had Henry VIII’s fourth and fifth wives, Anne of Cleves and Katherine Howard, have sloppy sex with each other in a bathtub. For no reason. It wasn’t relevant to the plot or anything, and I know, God forbid women do anything, but it wasn’t relevant and just so wild

So I sort of wonder if Josephine and Nakşidil Sultan are gonna go at it? I mean, it’s a step up for both of them, I agree, but like

[period-dramallama]

NSFW poll below cut. Dead dove do not eat!

Which of these things has NOT happened in a Brandy Purdy novel?

Henry VIII wipes his penis on Anne Boleyn's hair

Philip II's dancing girl wears a corset, high leather boots, and nothing else

Anne of Cleves has sex with Katherine Howard and a jar of honey is involved

Thomas Seymour's 'cock cannon' expels 'love nectar'

Wooing Mary, Tom S leaves honey cakes EVERYWHERE and rose petals in a <3

He jumps on the bar exposes his pp&tells audience it deserves 'a serenade'

inshallah none of the above. u people are dogs.

all of them are true this world is cursed

i know all of them are true bc i read all the books

Voting ended onJul 1, 2024

[purplefictionlover]

I had just finished reading Brandy/Emily Purdy's book The Boleyn Bride, a book about Elizabeth Boleyn, Anne's mother and her rendition of Anne Boleyn has got to be one of the most unsympathetic Anne's I had ever read and that includes Philippa Gregory's The Other Boleyn Girl . I don't also like the way George is portrayed in that book. He is more like Anne Boleyn's personal teddy instead of a character in his own right.

[diaryoftruequotes]

That's why people loved stories so, I realized in that instant, because they found in them what was missing from their own lives, the things they knew, no matter how much or how hard they might hope and dream and scheme, they would never have.

Brandy Purdy

[himblebo]

My favorite part of reading any historical fiction about Lizzie Borden is that first 25 pages when you’ve got to guess a) if they’ve written her as a lesbian or not and b) if the love interest will be Bridget or not

[elizabethan-memes]

That Scene(TM) in That Historical Pulp Fiction Novel(TM)

So this historical novel I read 7-8 years ago, now out of print alas, had probably the most memorable scene in historical fiction just for sheer “...what..” factor

The book is titled The Tudor Wife except when it’s titled Vengeance is Mine except when it’s titled The Boleyn Wife (not to be confused with The Boleyn Bride a different book by the same author). The author’s name is Emily Purdy except when she’s Brandy Purdy. So the name and title of the book have like 6 different possible combinations.

You know a book is gonna be a wild ride when it can’t make its mind up what its title is

Also check out the covers they are sooooo pulp fictiony my eyes bleeeeeeeeeeeeeed

In this book Jane in her rush to betray the Boleyns gets a bone in her hand trodden on and broken. She then has sex with Thomas Cromwell. 

BUT THAT’S NOT THE SCENE(TM)

I won’t describe The Scene(TM) but I will give you the ingredients:

1) One Anne of Cleves

2) One Katherine Howard

3) One jar of honey

[thewritingpossum]

Anne Boleyn suggesting that her dad should fuck Henry VIII instead of her is the weirdest but most original take on the old « pimp daddy Boleyn » I’ve ever seen