i'm thinking about offering my services as a beta reader
recently i've reread some of my favorite fics from several years ago, and i started to realize that i'm much more perceptive and "critical" of prose grammar and style than i was before. stories i remember as being flawless are riddled with mistakes. things that had a poignant, formative impact on me at age 16 seem mundane at 24. the rose-colored lenses are shattered--and yet, i can still dearly enjoy those fics! in fact, i'm much less bothered by bad grammar in general; i can tolerate 10x the amount of mistakes and gleefully follow stories i couldn't have kept reading as a teenager. my overwhelming feeling on those today is like...
"i see what you did there! you got mixed up and said "X," but you meant to say "Y"!! and that idea was actually very good and clever! stop being so down on yourself, you're a good writer! i see you! let me help!!"
i'm just worried that i'll overload people with explanations... or eff up one deadline, panic, and flee with bridges burning behind me... again,,,,,,,,,,, but mostly i'm worried that people will be freaked out by my sheer autistic depth of attention to detail and i'm fantasizing about creating a 3-tiered system (kind of like how artists advertise for commissions on here or like those drive-through car wash menus) from "basic spelling 'n' grammar tune-up" to "deep grammar scrub with simple style suggestions" to "full line-edit with gentle stylistic analysis and multichapter continuity checks" (yes i know the level of free editing i am willing and eager to do is insane), with optional annotations full of gleeful explanatory ramblings
plus another two services i've mentally nicknamed "Squee Readings" where i completely ignore grammar, spelling, and all other prose issues and just narrate my emotional reactions to the story content, paragraph by paragraph. this would have two levels: the basic squee, where i'd react plainly as a reader, and then the option to let me go totally feral and analyze my "reader" comments from a "writer/editor" perspective in the vein of how to play that reader like the figurative fiddle in the Devil Went Down to Georgia
and like i'm also nervous about offering a *menu of options* like that because i feel like *that* could scare people off... it's not meant to be intimidating, pay no mind to the mad scientist behind the curtain!
and because i haven't been a beta reader before... i *have* participated in about a dozen short courses of peer-critique class assignments, workshops, and club meetings, mostly in Earthspace but some online, so it's not like i have zero experience. also i serve everyone around me as a walking thesaurus. still, that's not the same as working with a writer on a long term project or multiple oneshots over time. and it seems like offering a "commission menu"-type-thing isn't...done...?
but what the hell, there must be *someone* among my many fandoms who would like it. and dear sweet schroedinger's god, after over ten years of Trying to Be A Author without finishing *any* story that wasn't a cracky oneshot i wrote in one sitting...thanks adhd brain...uh...it's sooo much easier for me to edit other people's writing than make my own right now
