When I am feeling down I log onto Tumblr and occasionally go through the break up tags section. Sometimes it’s hard to tell people how you feel, so I go on Tumblr and read through peoples entries of the post break up phase. I must say there is some depressing stuff out there. We are so hard on ourselves when a relationship comes to an end. It’s so easy for us to pick out our own faults while your ex is busy frolicking with other people already. Or that’s how we feel so worthless and above all so overlooked by the person who we once spent so much of our time with. Two people were never close as you and him (or her) how you shared so much and now they go on and you are stuck in a post break up limbo.
All you want to do is sleep, sleep makes you forget and if you’re lucky you won’t have a dream about them. We try and move on but there are moments even amongst our friends where melancholy approaches us. Like a wave throwing itself upon us and we can’t control it. It all comes rushing back at once, the memories, the rejection the fact that they have someone else now.
I know how it feels trust me I do and I am here to tell you that it will get better. You can’t make a blind heart see your worth. Some people are so limited when it comes to their emotions and feelings. Some people are so selfish they can only give so much of themselves. And that’s not you clearly. Please don’t blame yourself and please don’t think you won’t recover. You will.
The first thing you need to do above all else is don’t contact them. Don’t. I know its hard trust me I went through it; sometimes you feel the only person who understands you is the one who left you. Maybe at one point in your life that was true. But not anymore, if they left you take this as an end point and cut all ties. Don’t let them back in, if they stood in front of you looked at you, while knowing all your good traits and brilliance and they still decided to end things. Then you stop all contact cut them off and don’t ever give them 1% of yourself again.
They rejected 100% of you so now you walk away with your head held high. Don’t fall into the friends trap, it’s not good for you and if they have any sense they will know being friends is not an option. Walk away knowing you deserve better. They might try and reach out to you, call you message you but you make it clear you don’t want anything else to do with them. You’re moving on baby to bigger and better things. If they call or message you remember this……that if they truly wanted you back they would selfishly tell you outright. They would shout it from the rooftops they will come to your door and beg you…humans are selfish enough to grab what they want and they will do anything to get it. Don’t think a call or a text is good enough of an excuse to talk to them. Trust me trust me when I say whatever conversation you have with them after a break up it will always be painful…always. You might feel strong and think you can take the call…until you hear them talking to you casually as if you are just an acquaintance or worse they say they miss you but they don’t do anything about it. Don’t fall for it. Don’t go back to square one when you have come so far. Look at that missed call and laugh, pity them a little for its obvious they miss you, while you carry on living.
And if your ex has found someone new…well doesn’t mean you need to immediately. A lot of people on this earth have nothing better to do then to jump from relationship to relationship they have nothing else to fill their days. It’s because you left a hole in their lives and instead of assessing themselves as individuals and trying to better themselves they just fill that whole with another person……but it will never be the same always remember that. Some people think the most important thing in life is having someone to fuck and then showing off about it too others proving to society that you are having sex. Just remember that next time you see your ex with their new piece. If you bump into them, smile at them both and carry on walking. You’re too good to stop and cry and look upset. Your too busy to notice who he is with. You’re busy doing you.
There are so many things out there to experience, new books, new places, new stories and new people. Take your time and when you’re ready you will meet someone who was worth waiting for. That wave of melancholy that you felt will ease with time and you will become stronger. One thing I have learnt, there are good people in this world. Amazing people out there. Go and be with them, don’t sit and cry over someone who didn’t treat you like you deserved to be treated.
Go out and there with fire in you….and live.
