#breakfast conversations

[wordswithkittywitch]

"(Tesla was) drawn into a bitch fight with Edison, and sadly, Edison was the bigger bitch."

[homeboundrunnerfive]

Sam: How are you?

Five: I’m fine.

Sam: Babe, I’m privy to the secrets you hide. Please take care to not lie to my face again.

[grilledcheesebandit]

You’re serving up those favorite fried eggs and all the boy wants to talk about is blood and missing appendages.. Which you ain’t in the mood for this morning.

[noirangetrois]

@incapableofgivingup: Does anyone want a suffering banana?

Me: I'll have half of a suffering banana.

[arielchanart]

Once again, my Pokemon knowledge precedes my common knowledge.

P.S. - In my comics, <”…”> means spoken in Cantonese, unless otherwise noted.

[violet-rose-blake]

Mum and I: talk about applying science in a truly absurd way My brother: tries to explain why that is/isn't possible using real science

[imsolament]

friend #1: what if someone's semen was gold? like all that came out was a gold liquid?

everyone: *laughs*

friend #2: then guys would masturbate for days

everyone: *laughs*

me: that's another way to get a golden shower

everyone: *laughs even harder*

[justthecatsmaam]

Pirate Captain pt 2

"If we were pirates of course I'd let you steer the ship! And you know why? Because there are no traffic lights. You wouldn't have any problems with that whole green/red thing." http://justthecatsmaam.tumblr.com/post/112333097302/i-read-today-that-you-cant-see-green-and-red