Aug 26, 2019
tl;dr
I loved someone. They left me. Since then, I have become a severely depressed person, unable to do anything because I can’t bring myself to get out of bed except for going to work.
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tl;dr
I loved someone. They left me. Since then, I have become a severely depressed person, unable to do anything because I can’t bring myself to get out of bed except for going to work.
What are you not telling me?
Is there someone else?
Did you get bored?
Was I “too real” or did your perception of me get shattered?
No really, is there someone else or did you just fucking get bored? Because no matter how much I brought up the times I wanted to be with you, you would just shrug it off as if I were nothing.
I’m an adult. I can handle myself. But you were my lover for a reason.
Seriously, did you cheat on me? Is there someone else?
What are you so afraid of?
What’s also sad is that none of our parents even knew what this relationship was, or that it even existed at all.
Literally, the moment I became public with our relationship to the two most important people involved, I had already sensed you wanting to walk away.
Silly of me to think you and I could walk away from an explosion unscathed.
The whole world blew up and you let go of my hand.
The pen I’m currently writing with is the one you last picked for me. It writes comfortable, but it will always remind me of you.
Everything reminds me of you. You’ve been a part of my daily routine so much the past two years that I can’t not see reminders of you constantly.
We don't love anymore. What was all of it for?
Charlie Puth, “We Don’t Talk Anymore”
My Breakup Chronicles
as of May 30, 2019.
In all actuality, the titular breakup started turning its wheels on May 12th of this year...and became official Saturday, May 18th, the day of my second college graduation.
The original contents of this diary, which began in 2014 or so, have been destroyed, their words burned in fire, and ashes scattered to the winds of the night in La Jolla, California. They were accompanied by pages from other journals, and especially by what was once a significant necklace - plain and cheap, but sentimental.
All of these things died in a fire, but most of all, my ability to feel love and purpose in my heart for someone who used to be special and who had crushed my soul multiple times over.
We had a story...but this one is the beginning of my life without you.
My husband is looking for me bro #letmego #someoneswife #breakupchronicles #funnyshitbro https://www.instagram.com/p/BrLYuI1nrSk/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1na65m2d9apn7
FORGIVE
I'm not writing this to tell yourself to forgive every person who has hurt you. I'm writing this to forgive yourself for the decisions you've made. At a certain point in your life, you truly believed that decision was right. Maybe you knew it was wrong but you wanted to take the risk. and that's more than okay. We all stay longer in relationships in hopes they'll get better. We love harder and longer in hopes of reciprocation. We love others more than ourselves because at one point we believed everything we have given to someone would somehow be given back and more. Wrong. After my most recent relationship has failed. I have hit rock bottom. I have come to conclusions that self love is the only answer to survive this life. Without self love, everything in your life can easily be manipulated with clouded judgement. Know yourself and love yourself enough to walk away from people and environments that do NOT serve your growth and purpose.