what we’re here for. and that sorta thing.
Everything we need to know about how to live a meaningful and purpose-driven life has been said before. <By smarter, more memorable people.> But sometimes, when someone else says it, in a different way -- it strikes harder. So let’s say it when we feel it, right? Living here for 29 years has taught me a few things.
One of those simple things: Nothing heals a broken spirit like being outside. Walking among the trees and a flowing stream, or even just sitting in a yard under the sun ... is enough. Being outside heals. It heals big, in every way. Get out there, in the elements and remember how to feel something.
Another thing 29 has taught me is: Effort is what makes our lives what they are. It’s what makes everything. The amount of effort we put toward something will usually dictate what we get out of that experience. So, if we want more, we usually give more of our attention and effort to that thing. Typically, we have a better experience around that thing or activity. Sounds simple, right? Then just apply it to the simple things. Make the extra effort to take the kids to the park or let them mix the cookie batter, or help clean the bathroom. Make it simple, but apply the effort to let that in. I’m a mom, so I’m thinking of mom things right now. But it can be as simple as making the effort to actually talk to your deskmate in lab, or ask your colleague about their life when you’re at the microwave heating your lunch. Or nowadays <quarantine days>, slacking them to see what’s new in their personal life. The simple stuff does matter.
But some rare times, that’s not the case. Sometimes, our efforts aren’t matched and we need to retract to save the energy that we do have. Sometimes, that energy can never be matched, and so the best thing to do is retract all of our energy and pivot. Pivoting is what we can do when we are stuck and need to refresh our souls and get on a different course in our lives.
When we pivot, we can take ourselves back. We remember that we are fluid beings and we can adapt and change as our lives require. We can rub our eyes again and see the world as it is -- simple and full of experiences and people who give us the gratitude we desire and deserve. We can pivot and maybe even remember what we meant to do in the beginning, but forgot along the way.
Life is busy, but we make time for the people who, and experiences that are important to us. We can always restructure and rearrange our lives for what is important to us.
Other things I’ve learned in my 29 years: When something’s not for us, oftentimes, it fights us. It will seem off-course and lead us to experiences -- days, nights, weeks, years -- that don’t feel like they belong to us. These experiences are here ... or were -- they happened -- but they are not for us. They didn’t happen for us to ruminate on -- to go over and over in our mind. They happened, they weren’t for us -- we knew it at the time, and now we can flow forward. Now, I’m not talking about work. Most of the time, to get to the place we want to be in our careers, we need to go through experiences that make us work for our dream. Tribulations to the top are common, expected, and needed to get to the goal. But when something is fighting our energy in every case, inhibiting our progress and light -- it’s probably not for us. In these cases, pivoting is the only way to get back to our true selves and the life we remembered we wanted to work for.
And another thing I’ve learned: It doesn’t matter our age, we can start living into who we really are at any age, after any experience, and through all of the sludge. We can decide today, and begin. We can decide to keep living into that the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day, and the next -- until we are living like we planned to live. Or close to. And one day, we reflect and realize, we are actively living into the people we envisioned ourselves being. We’re living on that higher ground. We are doing those things, we are going to those places, we are feeling those feelings. We are those people.
We can decide, pivot, and act again. It’s never too late to remember who we are and what we’re here for.
