Note
Hi guys!! TWO WEEKS LEFT UNTIL CHICAGO FIRE IS BACK! Of course this means brettonio!!!! anyways, here is a fic i have been working on! i had antonio be the more vulnerable one here....also of course there are situations where one person could be to blame for a marriage ending, but with Antonio and Laura, I felt it was not just his fault, you know? Hope you all enjoy and as always I don’t own anything!
———
Molly’s was not having one of its busiest nights, but Sylvie was glad her favorite bar wasn’t packed. Of course, she always wants her friends to have a good business, but it’s always a perk to not have to shove through a large crowd to get a refill or have to yell to the person sitting across from you because it’s way too loud. Gabby and Stella weren’t told this information though, Sylvie wouldn’t dare.
“....He drives me insane!” Sylvie checked back into the conversation, catching the end of Stella’s rant. Without even listening to her, she knew she was complaining about Severide. Personally, Sylvie thought it was insane that she was living with the guy that she has been in love with for forever, but she has continued to bite her tongue. And with Gabby around, she never really had to voice her inner thoughts aloud. Fortunately her friend seemed to have the same thoughts about Stella living with Severide.
Gabby dove right in, refusing to sugarcoat her words. “Then move out.” She said, pausing to take a sip of her bourbon. “You haven’t exactly been looking for apartments though....” She put her finger on her chin purely for theatrics, adding a raised eyebrow too. “Thought this was temporary.”
The tightening of Stella’s lips was the only indication of Gabby’s words getting to her. Other than that, she kept a poker face. Sylvie was impressed, as someone who was never able to keep her feelings hidden. “It is temporary!”
To Sylvie’s horror, Stella decided to bring her into the conversation. “Gabby, you’re speaking from a married woman’s perspective. Sylvie, you have to understand where I’m at, right?”
Sylvie didn’t know what to say. No, she didn’t understand. Both what Stella was saying and the situation she was in. But since Gabby was being tossed aside and not listened to, Sylvie didn’t have the excuse of not voicing her option anymore. She wouldn’t be a good friend if she didn’t say the truth.
“You should look for other apartments,” She admitted, clutching her drink tighter in anticipation of Stella’s reaction. “You like Severide. Don’t deny it!” Sylvie quickly added as Stella opened her mouth to deny it. “It’s just super messy. And since you two work together, that makes everything more complicated.”
Thankfully, Stella didn’t fight against Sylvie’s words. “I’ll look for an apartment.” She conceded. Sylvie wondered if Stella would keep her word, considering how her and Severide’s relationship was though, she was sure the drama would be drawn out longer than it should be. “Now, can we talk about something else?”
“You’re the one who brought the subject up.” Gabby said, a small smile of amusement on her face. The words themselves were snarky, but the tone was light.
The conversation smoothly transitioned to work, sans any mention of one Kelly Severide. At one point of the conversation, Sylvie thought she felt her phone buzz. When she took it out of her pocket, she realized she was right, seeing Antonio’s name on the screen. She was too late though, as less than a second later, her phone was back to its main screen.
Curious, she looked at her recent calls. Not only was Antonio’s name on top, with the call he made just seconds prior, he had made the past four calls as well. All in the span of 20 minutes. Concerned, Sylvie hit Antonio’s number to call him back.
“I’m going to make a phone call,” She told Gabby and Stella, who were still engrossed in their conversation. “I’ll be back in a second.”
They both gave a hand wave of acknowledgement. Sylvie then stepped away, finding a quiet corner. She held her phone up to her ear, hoping Antonio would answer right away. Seeing that she had five missed calls from him made her feel worried.
He picked up. “Where are you?” He questioned, skipping the usual hello. His voice sounded anxious and panicked, unusual for Antonio.
This had her more concerned than before. Did she not tell him? “I’m at Molly’s.” She responded. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you—“
“No, no, no, I’m sorry.” He was stumbling over his words. “I probably forget or something, I don’t know.” A shaky sigh. “I just....needed to hear your voice.”
Whatever it was, she didn’t have a good feeling about it. This wasn’t nothing, something had to going on. “I’ll be over in 10, okay?”
At that, he seemed to come back to Earth. “You don’t have to do that.” He almost sounded convincing, and she may have believed it if he was acting so weird prior. “It was a hard day at work, that’s all.”
There was no use in staying at Molly’s, she would be worrying about Antonio until she got the opportunity to see him. “More of a reason for me to come over.”
“But—“
“No buts. I’ll see you soon.” Before ending the call, she adds “I love you.”
“Love you, too.” He said. He was sounding better than when he first answered the phone, which was some relief.
Sylvie slipped her phone back into her pocket, and walked back to where she was previously sitting with Gabby and Stella. “I have to go guys, sorry to cut girl’s night short.” She apologized, giving Stella money to cover her two drinks.
She hesitated, wondering if she should be truthful about Antonio or not. “I’ll tell you guys later.” She decided, ignoring their questioning looks. “Everything’s fine, I promise.” She tried to reassure them without giving too much detail.
They both looked like they wanted to push for more information, but thankfully they didn’t. “We’ll see you later then.” Stella said, giving Sylvie’s shoulder a friendly squeeze. “Hope everything is good.”
Gabby gave her a similar goodbye, but added a teasing statement before Sylvie began walking away. “Tell my brother I said hello.”
“I will.” She was able to get out despite being flustered. She still heard Gabby’s laugh as she walked out of the bar.
***
When Sylvie got to Antonio’s door, she put in the key that Antonio had gifted her weeks prior, and turned the doorknob. She stepped inside and looked around for her boyfriend.
She didn’t have to look far. Although he was in the other room, she was at the right angle to be able to see him sitting on the couch.
Not wanting to startle him, she called out to him as she was shutting the door behind her. “Hey, I’m here.”
She heard him sigh. “I told you that you didn’t have to.” He said, turning towards her, but remaining on the couch.
Sylvie walked over towards him, taking in his appearance. He was slightly hunched over, something she might have not noticed if they were still the acquaintances they once were. But now, after getting to know him so well, as both her boyfriend and a person, the little things like the tension he was holding in his shoulders was something she could not ignore.
“But I wanted to.” She reminded him, sitting down on the open cushion next to him. Now that she was closer, she noticed how his hands were clenched into tight fists. She reached out and grabbed them, opening them up as an attempt to relieve some of his tension.
But his hands weren’t empty. There was a crumpled up piece of paper inside one of his hands. Sylvie gingerly removed it, assuming that since he wasn’t making any movements suggesting that he didn’t want her to have the paper, she could read it.
‘At Molly’s, will be back later’ the note read, with a heart doodle at the end instead of a period. She did let him know where she was going. Normally she would have texted him, but she misplaced her phone and didn’t know where it was. Luckily, she ended up finding in her car, but assumed that the note she left would be enough.
“Why did you call me then?” She questioned, looking up from the note. Antonio was not looking at her, though. He was staring at the note still in Sylvie’s hands.
When he looked up, he still couldn’t meet her eyes. Instead, his were darting around, looking everywhere but at her. “I couldn’t open it.” He admitted, finally making eye contact after a minute of awkward silence.
What was this about, she wondered, trying to think of any possible reason. The anniversary of the day his grandmother died was last month, which they visited her grave. With that, she scratched off the possibility of any other death anniversary.
And any extreme situation, like Eva or Diego being hurt or in danger. If this was the case, he wouldn’t be secretive with his emotions.
Speculating wouldn’t get her answers. “Why not?” She finally asked, stroking the inside of Antonio’s left wrist, hoping it was calming him down. At least it was for her.
“Today, five years ago, was when I came home to a note,” He started to explain.
Oh. Now Sylvie knew where this was going. “Antonio....” She murmured, putting her feelings of sadness, sympathy, and guilt into a single word.
“And no wife and kids.” He finished. With the truth revealed, he seemed slightly embarrassed, detaching one of his hands from Sylvie’s and running it through his hair a couple of times.
She immediately began wishing that she could change her past actions. “I should have texted you when I found my phone in my car.” She berated herself, feeling partly responsible for the pain Antonio was feeling. Of course she wasn’t the one who ultimately caused it, but made everything worse.
Her guilt seemed to make him more distressed. “No, no, don’t blame yourself.” He is silent for a few minutes, but Sylvie knew that he had more to say, so she remained quiet. “It’s not that I’m still hung up over Laura. I want you to know that.”
“I know.”
“What I mostly get hung up over is the fact I tore my family apart, and Eva and Diego have to deal with the consequences. They are the ones who were the most affected, and still are.” He said.
How long has he been keeping these beliefs, these demons, inside of him? It was surprising to her that she has not heard anything about this before, not even a mention. This was a huge burden Antonio was putting on his shoulders.
“Antonio,” Sylvie said gently, wanting her boyfriend to understand that he wasn’t solely at fault. “There are two people in a marriage.” She reminded him.
“Hm.” He made a noise of acknowledgement. He was at least taking her words into consideration. An impressive feat for him due to his stubbornness. Above all, it encouraged her to continue.
“One of first things I noticed about you was your love and dedication for your job. I’m sure that’s what other people see too, and Laura can’t be an exception to that.”
“You leaving Chicago was never an option,” Sylvie reached forward to cup her hand around Antonio’s cheek. “She had to know that when she married you.”
He nodded, beginning to realize the truth of Sylvie’s words. “She did.” He admitted.
She could have stopped there, but she kept going. “You tried to fight for your marriage, you didn’t want it to end.”
At that, Antonio’s face, that had been lightening up throughout their conversation, twisted into a grimace. “I love where I am right now.” He took her hand off of his cheek, and squeezed it.
“I know!” She assured him, not wanting him to worry about her because they were talking about his past marriage. “I just want you to know that the end of your relationship with Laura was not only on your shoulders.” He nodded again, but gave him another look, not wanting him to agree with her just cause.
He sighed, exasperated. He didn’t seem frustrated with her, but with himself. “Everything you’re telling me is true, but it’s hard for me to stop blaming myself.”
Perfectly understandable, even though it pained her that he still felt he was to blame. “Time will help.” She said, leaning forward to press her lips against his for a moment. “I love you.”
He repeated the words back to her, a mumble as their lips were still attached. Sylvie had lost count on how many times I love you’s have been exchanged, but each time the declaration never failed to bring a smile onto her face.
She crawled onto his lap, wanting to get closer to him. For the next few moments, she wrapped up in Antonio, the taste of his lips, the feeling of his hands moving up and down her back. But the note she left came back into her mind, along with how lost Antonio had looked when she arrived at the apartment. At this memory, she separated herself from him, despite his complaints. “And I’m not going anywhere.” She swore, never wanting Antonio to feel any doubt with their relationship ever again.
Antonio answered with a blinding smile. “Good.” And brought her back to his lips, resuming their prior activity.