I Grieve That Grief Can Teach Me Nothing
Road stippled with rain, I slam imaginary brakes in the back seat. Sparrows in bushes and I'm breathless, scanning for bear, cougar— something to explain the brain's involuntary circling the drain, a hole I can't fathom. I'm sick and tired of dying—tired of its grip on the belly's pit, sick of the shiver it slips between beats, the ceiling's spin before the heart settles back to its rhythm and muscles unclench. In bed I used to pray for everyone to make it through the night. Now I lie awake and wait for day to break. Say something, I beg the dead, tell me it's easier in the moment to let it go but they have no promise to give, and the list of names grows daily longer until I know to live is to gather dying about myself like a quilt in the night, like sheets, like skin. Brian Simoneau











